Guest Vickie O'Neil Posted July 31, 2008 Report Share Posted July 31, 2008 As the death anniversary approaches...I find myself not well. I look at Pat's pictures...large blow ups from his service, & cry at the drop of a hat. I write really bad poetry...lean too much on the friends & family I have left, take care of our animals..& desperately attempt to be normal...& relate topeople, I'm the walking wounded.. listen to all the advice...but the very best thing is I have not blown, my head off with a pistol...as I would like to...my brother comitted suicide at age 29..I don't care how bad I feel, I couldn't do that to my family....who would immediately get rid of my dogs..No doubt at the Pound. Not happening.Wonder why death is so embarassing to deal with in our society??? Maybe in the old days people had it right? Widows & Widowers wore black for a year, black is a psychic shield, friends & neighbors made the time to come & celebrate, life..& the death...& help the widower/widow.. If a fence needed fixed, was done,,women brought food...& everyone, excuse the expression Visited.Sometimes for a week.These days we rush out to the funeral...surround the bereaved with flowers, cards.. emails,. a token visit..& then disappear into the woodwork. People need ope, Hugs.., & Real Help after the death of a spouse...like when the toilet breaks, or a man that that needs a real home cooked meal.I forced myself to go to my husbands favorite restaurant for Mexican food..last night...I felt invisible, lacking social validation as a single woman.looking at the happy couples. a man sat on either side of me,,,,staring at the TV. OK that's it...& Thanks for listening.God Bless this Help Line...& I will Pray that we all are Healed & Happy..Love,Vickie O'Neil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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