I Went

[mlg]

I don't remember which forum I posted in about going to see my friend who also has pancreatic cancer but you guys are the ones chosen to listen.

I finally went to see him again on Sat. and he looked pretty good and sounded pretty strong, but seemed distant. They have resched. his Whipple procedure for tomorrow so would everbody say and extra prayer tonight and tomorrow that Paul gets through this? Even though he's our friend he is 85 years old and found out at some point he has had a heart attack and he has diabetis, so there are several health issues besides.

I told him if I set him back again I wasn't coming to visit until after his surgery the next time because the last time I went he got sick and had to cancel.

I'm still not sure I made the right decision by his reaction but he may have been doing a lot of "mortality" thinking anyway.

Just thought I'd let you know I did it.

Mary Linda

[MartyT]

Mary Linda, you first mentioned this in your post of August 20, under the topic, Missing Persons, here.

We all know how difficult this visit must have been for you, but you did it anyway, and for that, you have our respect and admiration.

Please know that we will continue to hold your dear friend Paul in our hearts and prayers.

[KathyG]

Mary Linda,

You did the right thing in visiting Paul, whether he appreciated it or not. As difficult as it must have been for you, it shows your compassion and strength of character.

I'll add Paul to my prayers.

[WendyJ]

Mary Linda,

Good for you that you went to see him in the hospital, I am sure you feel much better now than you did. I am sure he was distant much to the same reason my boss Les was. He told me it was difficult seeing people coming in to see him, knowing they were going on with their normal lives, much like he wish he could have and the Whipple Surgery scared him the most. It is not a procedure it is a major operation, one with many risks. Like I had said though I saw Les in the hospital too but did not see him that one last time and I think mostly because we had just lost a family member on 9-11 in the World Trade Center and I didn't want to face missing him too. Please let us know how he is doing.

Love,

Wendy

[MikeC]

Mary Linda, I think visiting your friend was the right thing to do, too. A long time ago I postponed visiting a dying friend until it was too late, and I really regretted it. I'll be pulling for Paul!

[mlg]

Thanks everybody.

I'm still not sure but I talked with his daughter today and she thinks he was distant because she says she thinks he is thinking of all the things that could happen.

Wendy he is still home now but will probably in the hosp where he has the surg from tomorrow until 2 or 3 weeks from now. Then they will decide if he is well enough to go home with home care or if he needs an extended care facility.

Just keep, keeping in your prayers and I'll keep you posted on how he is doing.

At least now I won't have the regret that I could have said good-bye and didn't. Even though I didn't say good-bye because he really does have a good attitude and I hope he makes it through.

[mlg]

Well, my friend Paul's news was not good. They said there were too many tumors and they were too big. His granddaughter said they did a stomach bypass (he had an ileostomy in the past) so I'm not sure how all that works.

I really hate the Wed. after labor day a lot. It certainly hasn't been kind the past 2 years.

[mlg]

Just to let you all know my friend Paul lost his battle on Friday night.

It is kind of strange because Tom died on a Friday night and we had to wait until Mon. for the visitation and Tues was the funeral and this is the same thing for Paul. I hope Tom was there to greet him.

[AnnieO]

A few days ago I too went to visit someone that I had been thinking about but just couldn't bring myself to visit. She is a 17 year old young woman, dying of brain cancer. Her family was told last week that she has 2-3 months to live. That visit will stay with me the rest of my life. I cannot imagine what this family is going thru. I wish I knew something to do that would help.

[mlg]

The only things we can do are pray for them and be there when they need us. I already told his daughter about this website and told her when things calm down here and she gets back to Texas I will email it to her. Maybe she'll get as much good out of it as I have.

[JeanneC]

Mary Linda:

I am so sorry about your friend Paul. It was good that you went to see him. Visiting him happened for a reason. You were there for him. I am also so sorry that all of this is happening. Grieving, your mother sick, but hearing that she is doing well and now you friend Paul.

Hang in and know that we are all here for you. I am no that great at giving advice, but I am here to listen.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne