Opa

[liberty]

I had posted earlier here that my sister passed away in April and my brother is still in recovery from a massive stroke. Well I just got home from my dads funeral. My sister was only 48 and my brother is 53. My father was an Opa which is german for grandpa. My dad has been in and out of the hospital over the years with COPD. Which after seeing him is a really bad. His poor body just kept filling up with fluid. Everywhere. He had so much trouble breathing. I am still not over my sisters death and with taking care of my dad I havent had any time to go see my brother. My father was a vetran and I managed to get the color guard out to his funeral today. I was so happy when they told me they could make it I just starting crying on the phone. They folded the flag and handed it to my mother. I just feel like I am dreaming. Like I will wake up tomorrow and I will have my family back. My dad was such a mountain of a man. He had such a big hart. There are so many people in my family that are not even related but still call him opa. That was the kind of man he was. Everybody wanted him to be there dad. Ok I just wanted the world to know that they suffered a great loss when my opa left. I love you baby please give sister a big hug for me. MWAH! HART YOU

[mlg]

Oh liberty, how sad. A person can only take so much. I know that you will be there for your mom but hope that someone is there for you too. Try to take care of yourself and know that we are all praying for you.

[MartyT]

liberty, dear, you have our deepest sympathy, and our thoughts and prayers are with you on this sad and difficult day . . .

[DebFromLodi]

I can only imagine what you are going through. My sister in law lost her father about 8 months ago and, within days, lost her sister as well. I tried so hard to be there for her, but what a terrible loss you both must have felt. I will pray for you.

[liberty]

I can see how many people are reading this post. Plese feel free to post your comments. I need response. I need input. I am lost

I need people to tell me how to get thru this . I loved my dad so much. It still has not sunk in. Please help me get thru this

[AnnieO]

Liberty,

I am not sure I have any words that will help,I just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts.

My mom died almost 2 years ago, my dad died 10 months later. Some days it seems so long ago and other days it seems like just yesterday. I read a reply to you in another topic and it was really great advice. Take care of yourself, don't push yourself right now, eat when you can and rest when you need too. I know at the beginning of my grief I couldn't imagine ever getting to a different place in my life, the pain was unbearable. As you have probably read on this site, from many different people, its not that it gets better, but it does get a little easier. You adjust to your new normal. And you will find joy in your life again, you will smile again and with time your pain will also give way to happy memories of your sister and your dad. I know that by living my life and trying to find joy everyday, I honor my parents and I am making them proud. It just takes time. I am so sorry for your loss. Take care.

[liberty]

Today is one week since the funeral. today was the first time I went out and did some yard work. It felt good to be back at it. I miss my dad but I know that he is not hurting anymore. And my brother should be coming home from the hospital next month. I just dont know how our lives will ever be the same.

I guess its just life. People come in and leave this life everyday. I am just really glad that my dad felt the love from all of us. My favorite memory of dad and me will be of us watering our gardens together. We had our gardens on either side of a fence. I would ask him if we had a date or not. We would sit there and water our plants and talk about everything. My mom is holding up pretty well. We got hospice to come and pick up the bed and stuff and my mom is working on putting his room back together. She has my sisters bed spread and was worried about putting it on dads bed in case the girls see it. I told her it would bring them comfort when they come to stay the night.

Ok I have rambled on enough. Thanks for listening

[liberty]

AnnieO,

Thank you for your response. I have been out of it for about a week. Today I went outside and did some yard work. I just keep having these flash backs of my dad when he was good. I luv him and I miss him.

[kath]

Dear Liberty,

I, too am sorry for the tremendous loss you are dealing with. I was touched at the thought of you and your dad watering your gardens and talking about everything. My stepdaughter wonders how she is to live without her dad. I don't have the answers, but I know he would want her to be happy. Have you thought about planting something special in memory of your sister and your dad? My neighbors gave me a white rose bush and it is simply beautiful. Just the task of planting it gave me hope and assurance that my husband would always hold a special place in my heart. For some reason, I see you with a really lovely flowering tree to water and care for. I think your mom would like it, too.

Kath

[mlg]

If you google your dad/sister's name plus rose or whatever flower you like you may be lucky enough to find one named after them. I happened to find a Graham Thomas rose (my husband's name was Thomas Graham). It seems to be doing well and will always be my most precious flower.