"who" Am I?

[Guest Mrs.Charley]

deleted.

[dpodesta]

Mrs. Charley

Anger is a very difficult thing to get rid of, especially in your circumstances. I don't know if you are a religous person or not but one thing that I have heard and found to work for me is to pray for the person (In your case the company) that you are angry with. It will still take time however I have found that praying for that person slowly allowed my anger to cease. The other way you can look at it is this. By allowing that person/company to get you that worked up and angry is giving them power over you. You are giving them space in your mind and life. I for one do not want someone to have power over me so I work to get rid of it and not allow them to have that affect on me. I hope that this will help you in some way.

Love always

Derek

[WendyJ]

Barb,

I was so touched by your post, you seem like such a passionate person and of course I am always drawn to other dog people as I have 7 little Japanese Chins and I would not be here today if it were not for them and my closest friend on this site, Fred. I too at times am overwhelmed with caring for my babies but wouldn't change that for anything, I love them dearly. Now about the Crane...it was I believe a message to you from Charley as that was my first thought the minute I read what you wrote. I believe he was showing you that he was still there by your side watching over you and by his leaving, was giving you a message that it was time for you to go on with your life and to know that he will always be there for you although you can no longer see him. You say you can no longer find the strong independant Barb but I see a very strong person when I read your posts...think about all you have done on your own so far...you really are an amazing woman !

Love Always,

Wendy

P.S. Your Danes are incredible...the breed I have always wanted !

[MartyT]

Barb, dear ~ I don't know if you've ever considered using guided imagery as a way to deal with some of that anger that is troubling you so, but if you're willing to give it a try, I'd like to recommend the following.

Belleruth Naparstek is the creator of the best-selling Health Journeys audio tapes, and an expert on healing with guided imagery. Her recorded Meditation to Help with Anger and Forgiveness is wonderful. I have this CD myself, and it is one of my very favorites. This is one of the most inexpensive forms of self care available, and it can be amazingly effective. I cannot recommend it highly enough, and I encourage you to give it a try.

You can read a description and customer reviews of this CD at Amazon, here.

You can listen to a clip of it here: Health Journeys

[kayc]

Mrs. Charley,

Years ago when I was on a spiritual embarkment, I read a lot of literature on the mystics, saints, monks of times old...I didn't always agree but I learned a tremendous amount. I remember one of them writing that when someone is a new/baby Christian, God grants them special feelings (she called it something else, I can't remember what) and they need it to encourage them in their way. Later on, He often withholds these feelings as He believes us ready to be more mature and grow, going by faith rather than feelings. This is horribly paraphrased, but I think you get the gyst of it. Perhaps you no longer see the crane, not because he's not there, but because you no longer have need of it. You said it yourself, you know he is with you...and he is.

The anger will dissipate eventually. Everyone's journey is different, yet most of us experience an anger stage. It's going to be different for everyone depending on their own personality, what they went through, etc. Often those who are the strongest seem to go through the most anger...it often fuels demonstration of change.

Don't fight it, ride it out, you will know when the time is ready to let it go, it will whisper to you...

[fred]

Barb, It is so good to see you so active on the site. When you first ¨came back¨ and vowed to change things, I was going to caution you on how truly difficult it was going to be. Setbacks, slipping into old habits, bad days and everything else we have to deal with will trip you up constantly. You are actually doing extremely well. Congratulate yourself for such great determination and energy. Don´t sweat the remodeling, it will get finished when you feel like working on it. You are doing so much right now, some things are bound to suffer.

About the anger thing, while Derek is right, this situation is a little more involved than what most of the people here are dealing with. I know some of what you are experiencing and unfortunately, I don´t think that the resolution of the lawsuit alone will erase your pain and anger, whatever the outcome. It may give you closure if you decide now that you will allow yourself to let go of the anger at that point. Anger of this type is all-consuming and self-sustaining. I suffered for several years in a situation much different than yours. I kept that anger for a long, long time before I was able to release it; and even today, I have to be very careful approaching the subject to avoid falling back into it. One day, one hour, one minute at a time is a good rule of thumb while working on such life-changing directives.

You also may be too tough on yourself. Slow down and try to take things a little easier. It may be that you will not be totally free from your anger and frustrations until you are able to leave the area. For now, just focus on taking care of yourself.