I Survived Thanksgiving

[MikeC]

Hi everybody,

As some of you may remember, my sons and I planned to travel to my brother-in-law's place in PA for Thanksgiving and a bonfire memorial for Janet. You may also recall that I dreaded going there. Well, it went a lot better than I anticipated. Thanksgiving dinner was actually enjoyable - 12 people sat down at the table and feasted on a 33 lb. turkey, among other things. I felt like I belonged there, but more importantly I felt like part of a family. I have missed that feeling a lot.

The memorial went very well. I made packets with colored tissue paper containing popcorn, lavender and Janet's ashes to throw into the bonfire. Janet's brother and I built a large fire in his garden and 30 people gathered around it. We started with a prayer, sang Blessed Assurance, Walk Through the Bottomland, and Over the Rainbow. People shared remembrances of Janet and read poems. The thing I dreaded so much turned out to be a touching, sweet experience.

Today I attended a "Tree of Light" ceremony sponsored by our local hospice. I placed an angel in Janet's memory on the tree. I also got to see some of the hospice folks there, too. They are certainly angels themselves.

MIke

[leeann]

Oh I'm so glad Mike. Sounds like it was a truly wonderful experience for you!

The Memorial you held for her was beautiful... truly. And it does sound like it is a moving and meaningful way to honor our loved ones.

And the Hospice Tree of Light ceremony.. how lovely. And I agree.. Hospice workers are Angels here on earth.

leeann

[kath]

I'm so happy for you, Mike. It sounds like a beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman. To have so much loving family to share it with must have made it even more special.

I'm finding out, too, that anticipating events is often much worse than it turns out to be.

[shhh65]

Mike,

Thanks for posting that lovely tribute to Janet. I am coming on the 1st anniversary of Harry's death and like so many of us here, I find if I have something planned to honor him on anniversary dates it helps me.

I'm glad you had such a touching experience. May you continue to find peace in your memories.

Sherry

[mlg]

What a wonderful tribute. Where did you come up with the popcorn idea? I thought that was especially cool. Glad it went so well. One more hurdle passed.

[marsha]

Mike - the ceremony sounded wonderful, and so glad it went well. And to enjoy so your celebration with family was a gift. I know it's hard to be around people sometimes, so I'm glad it turned out that you could place your grief and hurt inside your heart, and be with family, and just enjoy. It's so true that the anticipation sometimes is worse than the event.

I found that with Joe's ceremony as well. A whole bunch of us gathered together on the oceanfront; I didn't think I could say anything, but I did it. Read poems ("I'm free"), said the Jewish prayer for the dead (which actually is a celebration of life), people stepped forward to share stories, and I had some of Joe's ashes in a pint bottle of Jack Daniels (along with a shot) - I walked down to the ocean myself and put his ashes in - the wind was whipping at about 35 mph, the waves were wild - it was just his sort of day. That's what he wanted, and that's what he got. A friend later told me a single bird was hovering over me the entire time. I'm in tears right now, but I'm so glad I could do this for him. Oh, you've brought back memories!

Be well, Mike, Marsha

[kayc]

Mike,

I am so glad it went well. All of the different things we do to honor and remember them truly help. What a touching way to remember Janet! I'm glad you felt good to be there with family and the time was a positive one.

KayC

[MikeC]

Thank you all for your comments. Mary Linda, I hoped the popcorn would pop when it hit the fire. I don't think it did, but the logs on the fire were crackling and popping so loudly it would have been hard to tell. On the other hand, Janet loved popcorn so it was quite fitting for that reason alone.

Mike