New And Needing To Share

[Mossfire]

I lost my best friend, soul mate, lover and husband all at once on New Years Day. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer on Valentines Day 2008. We joked that aside from the first year of our marriage that 2008 was the worst. I somehow feel cheated that he was gone within 2 days of entering hospice because I feel I never got a real chance to say goodbye. I miss him so much and keep thinking that he will walk through the door and say I got you this time! He was such a practical joker. Some days I am okay but the last 2 days I jsut want him back.

[Corinne]

Dear Mossfire,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I would like to welcome you to this site, here you will find the most loving, understanding, precious people you could ever want to meet. You are so new to this grief journey that I am sure you are still numb. Please keep coming here to cry, scream, vent, share, whatever it is you need to do. Here you can say anything and not be judge for it.

Hugs,

Corinne

[Bdzack]

Hi Mossfire

Our timelines are very close, I lost my husband 2/11/08, 3 days before Valentines Day 2008. I understand how you feel cheated...not knowing the time is near....oh, how we would do and say things differently. Oh for the chance to really say "Goodbye"! But then I think it probably would have even broke my heart more....and there is no way he wanted to put me through that. Remember they know how much we love and miss them. I believe they are watching and wish they could be here to make us feel better..like they did before. I do not know God's plan..but when I get there, it will be one of my first questions...why so soon? But hopefully I will fully understand and not even need to ask.

Welcome to this site, everyone here are understanding and wonderful people. Come back as often as you want. It helps me to write. Even though sometimes my brain can't quite figure out how to spelll the words my brain is trying to say I haven't done the journaling thing...but it sure helps me to share. Reading the thoughts of others sometimes causes me tears, but it is mostly because I feel the same way and they have said it so well.

Sorry you are in this place... None of us ever wanted to join, but I am glad we are all here, sharing together.

Bdzack

[Russell]

I know what you are going through. I lost my mother Sept. 8, 2008 and my aunt Dec.21, 2008. Things have not been easly for me. Everything is going wrong. Here is a web sit you can go to and lit a candle on line. www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?!=eng. Also you can have a memory bear made from a pice of cloths. Go to google.com and type in memory bears made from cloths. A lot of web sit will come. Look at them all and pick the bear you like the best. Also keep coming to this web sit. There are a lot of nice people here. They have help me a lot. It is nice to have a place to go and talk to people. I'm all alone. No friends and all my family love out of state. Just take it 1 day at a time. I will pray for you.

GOD BLESS,

Russell

[Dusky]

Mossfire,

Each time I see a new member it reminds me of how difficult those first days/months were and how I felt I would surly die - soon. I'm still here - and some of the best times are when I can help others through this dark passage. Check out my web site listed below.

[WendyJ]

Mossfire I too am so sorry for your loss and that you have to be here, but you have certainly come to the right place for understanding and love and support. We are all in different stages of our grief here but all agree on the same thing, we need one another to put our lives back together as best we can and to move on without the loved ones we have lost.

Love Always,

Wendy

[kayc]

Mossfire,

I am so sorry for your loss, but want you to know you have found a very caring group of people who have all been through it. Feel free to keep coming back here, post whatever is on your heart, it is good to get it out.

KayC

[JeanneC]

Dear Mossfire:

I am sorry about the loss of your husband. I can't believe that when I read your post that you thought your husband was going to come through the door. My husband always said that he was waiting for the time that he would play a joke on me. I used to think that he would get out of the hospital bed and say that it was all a joke. These are the kind of thoughts that go through our minds, because we are just in shock about what's happening. Please know that you have very good friends here. We are all going through the same anguish that you are. We are here to help you.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne