Can't Accept.

[leegrl1018]

i just can't accept the fact that he's gone... it gets to the point that sometimes i don't wanna live anymore.. im not working, not going to school i have no will or motivation to do anything

[singledad2]

Just hang in there girl. Times will be better at some point, but then again worse at others. We have all become accustomed to riding the emotional roller coaster that life has strapped us into. There are moments when it is so damn scary that we think that it would just be much better to be with our loved ones--and we will be some day. However, the Lord has his plans for us here. I'm still trying to figure out how I fit into the grand master plan, but that is not something that is necessary for me to understand. I just know that there IS a reason why we are still here and we must make the most of our short time here on Earth. I have an eternity to spend with my beautiful wife Julie, and it will indeed be glorious. For now though, I have work left to do here. She would not want me to skirt that responsibility to be with her sooner--of that, I am sure.

[kayc]

Lisa,

Not feeling motivation is pretty common...depression is a griever's newfound friend. Consider seeing a doctor or therapist if it continues, but do realize that this is very normal and to be expected. Maybe try forcing yourself out every here and there just for a bit, even if you don't feel like it (you won't), little by little it'll get better, but it'll take time.

Maybe do things that release hormones that make you feel better, like exercise. Eat a chocolate bar, watch a movie, try doing something you've never done before.

Anyone else have any idea on what made them feel better when they're stuck in the doldrums?

[kath]

I zone out...play my kids Game Boys or read a book. Nothing special, but it gives me the needed down time. I also puppy sit a lot. The diversion is good for all of us and I love having a dog around again, if even for a short time.

[marsha]

leegrl- someone sent me this - "start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and some day soon you will be doing what you thought was impossible." Just take baby steps - getting up and showering is a baby step, coming onto this forum is a giant baby step - it's ok to take the time to just be and process. We're with you here - Marsha

[Mossfire]

i just can't accept the fact that he's gone... it gets to the point that sometimes i don't wanna live anymore.. im not working, not going to school i have no will or motivation to do anything

I know exactly how you feel. I am going through the same feelings. Luckily I have our 18 year old daughter with me and she is encouraging me to do things. She is also there with the hugs and tears when we get to the lowest. We were going to retire to the mountains in 2 years and grow old together. The hardest part is reliving his last few hours and the pain he was in. I do know that he will be waiting for me when my time comes at heavens door. Even though I too feel that I want it to be sooner than later but it is not my choice to make. I just lost my husband New Years Day and I too am just taking baby steps. If I don't feel like getting dressed in the morning, who cares. I just make sure I sit in the sun for a few minutes each day to remind me that even though life sucks right now there is still the beauty of the day.

[kayc]

Mossfire, that is a good point...by sitting in the sun each day (I wonder what you'd do in Oregon? ) you are doing something for yourself and trying to maintain positive focus, a HUGE feat at this point in your grief journey!