Double Grief

[teny]

My dear far away friends I realy need your support and advise especialyu from those of you that know me since that nightmare started.I realise that some of you have moved and getting in an easier path It has been 30 months from Yianys death and a month from my mothers.My heart is broken and I dont know for whom Im crying when it hits me it seems like life has stoped when my love left and with my mothers death Im facing myself like im fragile and ready to colapse .The baby gave me some joy but grief is stronger than life and it absorbes me.How can I get over?How can I face life again with some hope for whatever future is left?Love from far away.TENY

[LarrysGirl]

Hello Teny, you aren't alone in feeling this way. It does seem sometimes that others have been able to move forward alittle in their grief and I know it makes me feel like I must be stuck. I just came to 3-1/2 year mark and little has changed for me. I don't recognize myself anymore, it has taken such a toll on me physically and emotionally. There are days when the sadness lifts but I miss the life we shared and drag myself thru life now. You've recently lost your mother and I know that must have been so hard. You have made progress, I've seen it in your posts here. It just going to take more time for healing. I wish for you some peace and comfort soon, Deborah

[mlg]

Teny,

It's just like starting all over again - one breath at a time. You start there and then it's a second, a minute and hour until you build up again. Don't try to push yourself because you have a new loss and you have to deal with this too. Hopefully with nicer weather coming and not all the gloom and doom of winter you will be able to go outside and enjoy some of the beauty of nature.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You've made it 30 months so that is progress. It may not be the way you or I want it but it is our "new" life. Hundreds before us have made it and so will we (eventually)

[kayc]

Teny, and you too, Deborah,

It may seem like some of us have moved on, and believe me, we may have tried everything to do so, but sometimes it seems like it just hasn't worked...the memories, they hit, and the empty hole inside is still there. All I know to do is to keep trying. Life for me has never been the same and there isn't a whole lot to look forward to, you know? I think that's one of the problems...if there was just something to look forward to, if we knew somehow that everything would be okay, it'd be easier. I guess I just keep going on faith and hoping someday everything will right itself. For now I accept the little joys and don't expect the big ones.

(((hugs))) to both of you!

Love,

Kay

[WendyJ]

Oh Yes ...Kay is certainly right. Our lives are still such a roller coaster ride still, there is still such an emptiness that has not been filled and sadly may never be. We do not like what we have been given, I should say we hate what we have been given but we have to try to move on regardless. My life seemed to be going better, then I broke it off with a new relationship and yesterday we found out my mothers cancer has returned again. Hang in there my friend, we are right here with you just trying to get through each day the best we can.

Love Always,

Wendy

[Lucia Abeytia]

I know how difficult it must be for you but we all have to take one day at a time. My mother in law is 86 yrs old and is very ill and everyday i pray to God that i don't get that call she is the only parent i have left..she is not just a mother in law she is my mom and sometimes i feel like she is my only link to Ben left and if she leaves what am i going to do...my i just live one min. at a time..With everyones support i think you and I and everyone else will make it. and maybe some day it will get better for us all

[mrspapajohn]

My Dear Teny - - I am so sorry that you have even more grief added to the grief you had when Yiany died. I wish there were some formula that I could give you to make you feel better. I lost my mother four years ago and all the pain and grief that I had when she died came rolling back when my Stephen died. Oh, how badly I wanted my mother to comfort me in my terrible loss. I think that I was in denial when she died, and it took Stephen's death to make everything real to me. I am still grieving for both of them, and I share your pain. This burden of sadness is so hard to bear.

Please take it day by day and rejoice in your little accomplishments as they occur. Please try to get some comfort from your granddaughter. Again, I wish that there were something I could say to make it easier for you. I am so glad that you are still posting here. I think about you often.

Kathy