In Case Of An Emergency

[JeanneC]

At my place of business our Human Resources department has implemented a new system where your personal demographic information can be changed on-line instead of putting in forms. I have yet to change my beneficiary on my 401(k). But there is a category - Emergency Contact Change. It still shows Alex with my home phone and that he is my spouse. I just started to cry at work. Just seeing his name and personal information in my records made me get very upset. But what is also upsetting is that I don't know who to put down in case of emergency. The only ones that I would put are out of state. I have friends but they don't live in Brooklyn. They live within an hour from me. I don't know if I should put down my neighbors. I would not want that burden on them. Most of my family I rarely speak to except once in a couple of months. I know this is a personal thing, but if anyone could suggest anything that would be so helpful.

Boy, the things that you figure you have to take care of.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[marsha]

Jeanne - that's a tough one, and I haven't quite figured it out, either. After Joe died, I changed my health care power of attorney to our niece (but she's in PA), and a good friend of mine who is close here. I'm their power of attorney as well. All of our parents are gone. So I put them down, or my brother, who's in NJ. I figure they're a day's drive away. But still, it's the feeling of being alone in this kind of situation that just makes me so -- sad, depressed, heartbroken, panicky - pick one. I would suggest that if you're close to one of your neighbors, put them down, with their consent, and they can just act as the front line until your friends/family are called. I hear you on this!! Hugs, Marsha

[kayc]

I'm sorry Jeannie, I do know how that feels, it seems like a cold hard reminder...and changing it makes you feel like they're getting that much more removed from you and it all hurts. Have your cry, we understand!

Love,

Kay

[PaulaB.]

I would pick someone that I trusted that would carry out my wishes no matter where they live. It's not a matter of expediency when it comes to someone passing and most things can be done through a fax or e-mail. I know this because I am Tom's Personal Representative for his estate and his will is in probate court. Paula

[Korina]

I had a tough time this week, as I finally got around to applying for the death/survivor's/children's benefit. I had to gather up birth certificates, death certificates, etc to get certified true copies. Another blast of reality.

In regards to an emergency contact, I haven't gotten around to that yet, either. I haven't decided who it will be, but I think that as long as that person is easily contactable by phone or fax and you trust him/her, distance is secondary.

Take care,

Korina

[Boo Mayhew]

Oh yes, this one really hurt me at work. My hands were shaking when I input the new next of kin, and can't actually remember who I put ... it would have been my sister or nephew, but not sure now, it's completely blank! It's another one of those: "he's really not coming back" moments, and then you have to look at yourself and ask who is actually that close to you ... all I ever wanted or needed was him.

[JeanneC]

Thank you all for the advice. I do have my sisters-in-law who live in New Mexico and Texas and they have been wonderful to me. They consider me their sister. I also have my best friend who lives in Florda who I have know for 40 years. So I guess I will decide on let them know.

I know when I brought up this subject that there are so many of you that have these issues with dealing with next of kin and beneficiaries.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[Boo Mayhew]

Argh, I just had to add "next of kin" info on my Virgin Atlantic Boarding Pass for tomorrow's flight to Savannah ... it actually made me feel nauseous filling it out. I put down my sister in law this time! Speak to you all when I get back on the 20th October xxxx

[JeanneC]

Boo:

Have a safe and happy trip.

Jeanne

[kath]

Jeanne,

This is a really difficult form for me to fill out, even when I have to be the one to initiate it at work. I go into a major dilemma at the start of each school year, sports season, or scout sign up, hospital record update, or new job. Not only do I need to list someone to contact for myself, I worry about who will know where the kids are. No one is that involved in my life to know where to find us. So, I list my neighbors and carry my cell phone with everyone's title. I hope if that time ever came, where someone had to reach out in my favor, that it will be enough information. It might not be a bad idea to have a list at home of all the people. Thanks for making me think more about this. I tend to avoid it whenever possible.

Kath