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Lost Dad About 3 Weeks Ago


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I lost my father who led a full life to 86 but then everything suddenly went down hill.I am an adult, my mother passed two years ago. She had Parkinsons and could see her detiorating quickly. I guess I felt my father and I was closer. Now I feel like an orphan, no one on my side. I have strayed from religion. My parents were not religious and my husband is not. He does not understand the grief. I find my emotions very bottled up and then suddeenly explode with anger. Wondering if anyone else lost two parents with no spouse or unsupportive spouse with a child and how they deal with it. I tend to get depressed and anxious. I guess I'm really looking for moral support and somewhere to talk openly. Thanks for listening.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello,

I lost my father two months ago at the age of 40. I am a teenager. I just wanted to let you know that everyday is hard but it's good to cry. I have found that the best way to heal is to cry. I cry everyday. It's hard being so young and small and to loose your father. My Dad was my hero. Remember that although it feels like life is following apart, it will get better. I am so glad to hear you had your father around for a long time. He must of lived a very happy life. I send you happiness!

-madimoon10

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Hi farawaydaughter... Sorry to hear of the loss of your father. My mother died on March 20,2009 and my father died on March 20, 1999 which was 10 years earlier. I am also an adult and I was caregiver to my mother. My mother was 87 and I loved her very much and I miss her very much. Age makes no difference. We never want to see our loved ones go.

I have also been having a rough time,but,it has become less intense.

Do realize, for you, it is only 3 weeks and it is normal and understandable for you to feel as you do.

I can understand the part about feeling like an orphan.

I can also understand about how some people cannot understand what another person is going through.

My brother is grieving in his own way and does not really give me any support.

You need to get the support from those that are understanding and comforting.

This forum has alot of caring and considerate people that will share their experiences with you and will help you.

Read the postings and articles. They really do help.

You may consider seeing a grief counselor or priest, pastor, or rabbi, depending on your religion.

Grieving is rough and always remember that if you feel like crying..its okay. Crying helps us to heal.

Give yourself time.. There is no timetable.

Be well.

James

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James, thank you for such a thoughtful post. I am seeing a counselor and talked with a reverand recently. My sister and I were not close but this may be the siilver lining where we learn to get a long. Things are tense in my household which is why I'm online. Its so helpful to hear from others.

I am sorry for the loss of your parents. Bless you for being her caregiver. Hope for your days to get easier.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Your situation sounds almost exactly like mine...I lost my dad, unexpectedly, in March 09, and my mom 3 weeks ago. He had just turned 74 and she was 75. My heart is broken, and my husband also does not understand how this feels...he has both parents still. My mom also had Parkinson's and dementia.

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hello farawaydaughter, i am from inidia i am very sorry for your loss...i recently lost my mother too from cardiac pulmonary arrest, it took only three minutes and she died in the hospital in front of me...i was horrified...i felt like i am going to die too...i never imagined living my life without her you know...i cried like hell and my hands were shaking and were numb...i could feel the numbness in my legs too...i had an nervous breakdown...even after one month of her passing, i still believe that she's in her bedroom when i suddendly wake in the morning or when i am sleeping. unfortunately my father is suffering from parkinson's disease from last 12-15 years and he's somewhat near critical stage. the good thing is he's getting very little relief from levadopa meds hes taking...but i am not sure how long he's going to survive. because he's bedridden, lot of muscle wasting has occured in his body and his skeletal bones is seen through out his body. i just wanted to ask you, how your mother died from parkinson's? what was the cause of death and what will help when he'll be taking his last breath-like rushing to a hospital or giving particular type of medicine...i live my life in so much of regret cause when my mother died, it took only three minutes and i could not do anything to save her...i can not forget this my whole life...i don't know how i'll live if my father dies too...your reply will be always appreciated...take care...

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I lost my father who led a full life to 86 but then everything suddenly went down hill.I am an adult, my mother passed two years ago. She had Parkinsons and could see her detiorating quickly. I guess I felt my father and I was closer. Now I feel like an orphan, no one on my side. I have strayed from religion. My parents were not religious and my husband is not. He does not understand the grief. I find my emotions very bottled up and then suddeenly explode with anger. Wondering if anyone else lost two parents with no spouse or unsupportive spouse with a child and how they deal with it. I tend to get depressed and anxious. I guess I'm really looking for moral support and somewhere to talk openly. Thanks for listening.

Hi faraway, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad last week, and even though my Mom is alive, we are not very close. I, too, felt orphaned, but reconnected with a mother of an old friend. My father was very unavailable to me my whole life, I even talked to him about it throughout our relationship, but when he died, I became extremely angry at him choosing everyone but his kids to be in his life (my sister feels the same way). I'm feeling explosive anger now, and then sadness and then another emotion that I have not been able to identify yet, probably anxiety. Writing about it helps me. My husband was great during the funeral, but wants me to 'get over it now.' He still has both parents and has not had a major loss in his life, yet. The memorial service for Dad was only 5 days ago, and I am actively seeking to grieve. I believe that non-grieving leads to health problems, and I have too many as it is, now. I hope that this helps, and thank you for listening.

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