Rochel Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 Everytime I pick up our mail...their I go again..our...my mail..his name is stll on it...I know that the word hasn't gotten around, but why must there be so many triggers...many Sympathy cards, and I appreciate them, but why must the world still go on their merry way when we are all grieving deeply...I was okay today until I was watering out back and I imagned the screen door sliding and my Bob telling me that "the garden looks good Dear"....With this grieving, you cannot look ahead to evenings and Sundays being alone...I think when our energy goes, it is easy to be depressed and non-productive...Glad I can come here...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 Rochel - the triggers abound, that's for sure. At my business, I occasionally get the phone call from a solicitor who's spoken to Joe in the past. They still call and ask for Joe. My employees and I have this gallows humor kind of thing where we're going to tell them to call 1-800-HEAVEN. I know it's like a knife in the heart every time you see it.. Hugs, Marsha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted October 24, 2009 Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 I'm with you both . . . triggers abound. What cuts to my heart is the mail that is addressed to "The Estate of Brian R. Reed." It just makes me so sad to see those words. And, since Brian was a letter carrier, everytime I see a postal vehicle, a letter carrier or a post office, I break into tears. I hope this subsidese some day but for now it just devestates me. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted October 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 I think the triggers are set up by life and God...to help us over the hump of this terrible grieving over and over...I have the book from Hospice entitled "Finding Your Way Through Grief" A guide for the first year...It is very good and timely for this Season of my life...for all of our lives...I'm also reading "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn....I feel close to my Bob when I read about Heaven...I'm sure that he went there and I want to join him...One of the things mentioned in the Grief book is facing the death squarely name it, spell it, and talk it out...Replace delicate phrases like passed on, passed away with died, dead and widowed. Believe me, I underlined this but can I do it "NOT"...I need a lot of healing yet...Also, your brain doesn't get it because it is loaded with memories of your loved one..Although the person has died, the one still exists in your memory and in the memories of others..Holding on to your emotions takes more energy than releasing them....Good to talk with all of you..Blessings, Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted October 25, 2009 Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 Ah, the mail. I haven't brought myself to change the hydro bill from his name to mine.... Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 25, 2009 Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 I don't know, after 4 1/3 years, I still get mail with his name on it, I probably always will. It's a reminder to me to say a prayer for him, for his happiness where he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted October 25, 2009 Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 It's a reminder to me to say a prayer for him, for his happiness where he is. I like this. I hate getting the "Estate of" mail, but I still like to see his name on regular things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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