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When Tom passed, I really thought that some things would remain the same such as friends and family relationships. I am now realizing that this is so far from the reality of the situation. His family doesn't talk or correspond to me anymore. That ended about a month and half ago. His friends are beginning to disappear, too. I think that the only thing that I can do for myself now is to re-evaluate all of these peoples impact on my life while knowing Tom. There are a very few friends that are true and I believe that they will continue to be. I spent so much time making sure that the family and friends had the material things that they wanted from Tom. What a waste of time. I didn't want to offend anyone. I always said yes. Tom's death taught me an awful lot about people and who they truly are in the long run. I will be forever grateful to him for that. No more shipping stuff back east to his family, no more worrying about how his friends view me. I'm done. I have never known this many sorry souls in my whole life. And the family and friends both bicker among themselves. Life is just too short for that and I don't want to be a part of it. I didn't fail. I just see and want something else in my life. I want peace here on earth. Paula

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Oh, Paula, it makes me sad to learn how you are being treated by friends and family. Hold on to the true friends and let the others go. You do not need to have any additional stress added to your life. Grief takes its toll on us mentally, emotionally, and physically. You are right to seek peace on earth -- that should be the dream for us all. I have encountered a few people who were insenstivie and I do my best to avoid them. I surround myself with my friends who are kind, compassionaite, and loving. These are the friends who will sit and listen to me, who will cry with me, who will carry me.

I wish you peace, my friend. I'm here to listen and to offer hugs from afar. We will walk this journey together and we will lift each other up. May the prayers and love I'm sending your way help to ease the pain your are feeling.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

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It really sucks that some people have to waste energy on bickering about things. If anything, losing Scott has reinforced to me just how important friends and family are. I don't know what I would do without them. I sure hope those true friends you have remain so, and I am glad you are not wasting energy on people who are unpleasant.

Hugs,

Korina

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Paula, this is perhaps the subject that saddens me the most. I can honestly say that the people who have abused my trust set me backwards around 3 months of progress. It's awful.

It still upsets me.

And I need to leave it behind me but it's hard to ... and here you are - and you have already managed to come to terms with it, so a huge well done to you for your pragmatism and attitude. For some reason I turn into an immature teenager when faced with stuff like this :-(

It is heartbreaking when people turn their thoughts to material things when you are missing someone so much that you have to focus on breathing sometimes. Surreal.

I read Stephanie Erikkson's "Companion through the Darkness" and she says that grief makes you re-write your address book. Amen to that.

HUGS

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When Tom passed, I really thought that some things would remain the same such as friends and family relationships. I am now realizing that this is so far from the reality of the situation. His family doesn't talk or correspond to me anymore. That ended about a month and half ago. His friends are beginning to disappear, too. I think that the only thing that I can do for myself now is to re-evaluate all of these peoples impact on my life while knowing Tom. There are a very few friends that are true and I believe that they will continue to be. I spent so much time making sure that the family and friends had the material things that they wanted from Tom. What a waste of time. I didn't want to offend anyone. I always said yes. Tom's death taught me an awful lot about people and who they truly are in the long run. I will be forever grateful to him for that. No more shipping stuff back east to his family, no more worrying about how his friends view me. I'm done. I have never known this many sorry souls in my whole life. And the family and friends both bicker among themselves. Life is just too short for that and I don't want to be a part of it. I didn't fail. I just see and want something else in my life. I want peace here on earth. Paula

Hi Paula,

I'm so glad that the good Lord gave you peace with this and you found out the truth about these so called friends and family members..My Bob would always warn me about people and what they were after...I have true friends, however they love God and wouldn't use anybody...with you knowing this about them...you save yourself much stress and heartache and energy, which we so desperately need in this lousy grief cycle...may you get much needed rest dear Paula...bless you, Rochel

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