The Loss Of My Husband

[cherrie']

HI

MY NAME IS CHERRIE' AND THIS IS A REAL BAD TIME,EVERYDAY JUST AS BAD AS THE LAST.

MY HUSBAND LEFT THIS EARTH ON JANUARY 20TH 2009, THE HOSPITAL HE WAS IN MADE MISTAKES

MISTAKES THAT LEFT MY MAN VULNERABLE TO DEATH.HE WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FOR A COUGH AND SOME DIAHREA AND THAT NEXT MORNING AT 3:30 AM HE WAS GONE.AS THE AFRICANS SAY, HE IS GONE FROM OUR EMBRACE FOREVER.

I FEEL ALONE AND SO CHEATED.WE WERE A REAL LIFE LOVE STORY WE MET OVER THE TELEPHONE I LIVED IN NY AND HE IN THE COAL FIELDS OF PA.WE KNEW IT WAS LOVE AFTER THE 3RD TIME WE SPOKE.MY FAMILY THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY,BECAUSE AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF TALKING ON THE PHONE I WAS PACKING UP MY CHILDREN AND LEFT BROOKLYN.YOU SEE WE NEVER SAW EACH OTHER SO THERE THIS WAS TRUE LOVE BECAUSE WE HAD NOTHING PHYSICAL TO OBSERVE.THE BEAUTY WAS THE LOVE WE SHARED.MY FAMILY ESPECIALLY MY BROTHER SAID SHE''LL BE BACK I GIVE IT SIX MONTHS.THIS LAST 5TH OF JUNE TIM AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED SINCE 1988 21YRS.

I FIND MYSELF ANTICIPATING MY OWN DEATH BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WHATS HERE FOR ME HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME.OUR UPS AND DOWNS EVERYTHING.THIS FEELS LIKE A DIRTY TRICK HE BEAT A STAGE 4 CANCER,CANCER FREE FOR 8YRS AND QUADRUPAL BYPASS SURGERY.HE WAS DETERMINED TO BEAT THESE THINGS.AND I WAS ALWAYS ON THE SIDELINES ROUTING HIM ON.SO FOR HIM NOT TO COME HOME BECAUSE OF NEGLIGENCE I AM SO CONFUSED.I CRY AS IM WRITING THIS,I CRY FROM A CERTAIN SONG,A REST IN MUSIC REMINDS ME OF HIM,I DONT EVER WANT TO FORGET HIM BUT WHERE IS THE HOLY SPIRIT WITH COMFORT FOR ME.

[JeanneC]

Oh Cherrie:

First, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. This sound like a real love story. I live in Brooklyn and I could never imagine meeting someone on the phone and leaving to meet someone. But for you it worked out wonderfully. I know this is very hard for you. You do have your children and you can comfort each other. You must not think about your own death. You have to take care of yourself and be strong especially for your children.

Remember that there are very caring people on this site. Please don't every stop posting.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

[mrspapajohn]

Cherrie - - I am so very sorry about your husband. My husband, Stephen, also died last January. This has been the hardest year of my life, but it seems to be getting a little more under control. Our timetables for grief are all different, but perhaps more time will bring you some remnant of peace. Our husbands fought so hard for life because it is precious. The best we can do is honor them by going on with our lives. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Kathy

[cherrie']

thank you jeanne,wow someone from brooklyn,what a pleasure.i appreciate your kind words

[LindaKoz]

Hi Cherrie,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I understand that this grief journey is so very difficult but you have found a place where others understand what you are feeling. We will listen. We will grieve with you. You are not alone. I understand about losing the love of your life. I lost my Brian on September 23rd of this year and I am totally devastated. Can we share our pain and somehow learn to live on our own together? As you mentioned, I cry when I hear songs that Brian loved. There are many, many triggers which evoke feelings of anguish. I don't have any magical answers which will relieve your pain but I'm here to listen with much love and empathy. Hugs to you from my part of Pennsylvania.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

[Rochel]

Hi Cherrie,

I like to think that when you hear from all of us and receive our encouragement, you have heard from the Holy Spirit...God is speaking thru all of us...There are many broken hearts on this site including mine, but we are also listening hearts...I'm so sorry that the hospital screwed up and caused your husband's death...My husband died 09-24-2009 and I die everyday..I thought that I was doing better, but I had 4 steps back again...It is just something that we have to keep going thru..My daughter whom I love dearly told me that I am needy...Gee, I hate to hear that...I haven't ever had that title, but since Bob's death I am a whole bundle of emotions that I haven't been before...We need to hear from you Cheerie..to know that you are ok or as good as could be expected...Bless you, Rochel

[Susie Q]

Dear Cherrie

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. My heart aches when I read your post because I can see so much of me in it. Today I picked up the ashes of my wonderful husband of 32 years who died on 22 August this year after just a few days of illness. So I too know the pain and despair you are feeling at your tremendous loss.

Ours was a secure, full and loving relationship, with so much planned for so many more years. Every day I wonder if I will ever have a future that I can tolerate without him.

I know he would want me to do my best to get through this, just as your husband would wish that for you. That is why we hurt so much, because their love for us was so strong and selfless. I'm fragile at the moment but with the help of my family and friends I'm trying to honour that love by being a testament to it. And to do that I have to be here and somehow become a part again of what was 'our wonderful world'. I know he would gently insist on it but I need to do it slowly and in my own way.

I'm also helped greatly by this site, even though I live on the other side of the world. I read and sometimes reply, but it gives me strength to know that what I am feeling is all part of this hard road. I hate the hurt and emptiness I feel and I miss him every second, but I take hope from the wise words of people here who tell me it will eventually get better. I wish you, and all of us, peace and comfort and some better hours and days ahead. Susie Q

[Korina]

Cherrie:

I have just read your post for the first time, as I have been absent for a bit from the forum (happily engaged with visiting with my family). I too, feel Scott and I were cheated. First of all, just 4.5 months before his death, we had our first child after a long time of trying. And secondly, he had struggled with addiction for a long time, and finally, after an intervention, he was responding positively to an in-patient program. But his body (and I will still blame God, as He can take it, and try to back off from blaming myself) betrayed us with an infection. So after all of this, I feel incredibly cheated.

But everyone here has their own story and struggle, and with each other's support, we are making our way along this grief journey (or at least, as I can really only speak for myself, the support here is helping me sometimes walk, sometimes stumble, along the path).

So keep on posting, as the people here are great and they all care.

Korina