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Well, my friends, tonight I am going to a holiday party and it's my first without Brian. I'm a little scared but I also know that all of the people are really good friends and there will be love and comfort. It's a group of people from our church and they all love and miss Brian, too. I know that I will be able to talk about him and it will be okay if there are tears . . . mine and our friends. I know that if Brian were still alive he would be excited about going tonight. The first year that he went with me after we met, he made an incredible vegetable baked ziti -- our friends still rave about it. I didn't try to replicate his dish (he was the better cook) so I'm just doing what I do best. I'm taking some deep breaths and I know that I can come home any time that I need to. I miss him but I know that he would want me to live. And, so I will keep trying. Prayers would really be appreciated.

Peace,love, and blessings,

Linda

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Dear Linda,

I'm proud of you for getting out there tonight...It is better to be around people that knew Brian so that you can honor him and talk about him...When we talk about our Loves, it makes us feel like we were part of something very special at one time, instead of half of a person...Why does it seem, the more time that goes on, the farther way they seem...Bless you Dear Linda, have a good Sunday...Rochel

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Linda:

They sound like the perfect folks to be around for your first party. I hope it was cathartic and fun.

Korina

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Linda,

Please let us know how it went for you. Sounds like everyone there is a really good source of comfort and hopefully some joy. I too believe your Brian would wish for happiness, friends, comfort and love for you. You are an amazing woman that has offered so many of us hope. Blessings my friend. Debbie

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Thanks everyone. The evening went well but of course it was bittersweet. I was able to relax for a few hours with good friends. We shared some stories about Brian and my friends are all aware that my grief journey is a difficult road for me. I think I did pretty well. It's hard for me to say that I had "fun" but I was able to enjoy the company of my friends. The difficult time came as I was driving home because that is when it really hit me that Brian should have been with me. So I talked to him through my tears. I'm still grappling with this loss but I'm also trying to find a way to live. I guess there will be a lot of trial and error and we all try to figure out who we are without our loved ones. So, one step at a time. Thanks for the love and support.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

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Hi Linda,

I hear you loud and clear...When I go to places, I have a semi good time, but the drive home is weird and kind of cold...we need a rubber doll that talks or something..haha...I try not to go too far, then blast the radio on the way home...Glad that you had a good time while you were there...and you were able to freely talk about Scott....Have a blessed Sunday my friend...Rochel

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