Weekend's Here

[JohnG]

Well, my least favorite time of the week is here again. Sixty four hours of trying to fill the void.

The week is hard but manageable. I'm up early getting through all of the things K used to do for me, work fills most of my day, thankfully, and a few hours in the evening can be dealt with some success but once Thursday arrives and I'm being told of my friends and families plans, my mood starts to sink. Friday night comes and what? Dinner out alone? No thank you. Sitting around the house alone? Not much better but at least I don't have to see others enjoyment of what I've lost. Grocery shopping is miserable. What I enjoyed as a twenty one year old bachelor I can not bare to do alone at forty five. Waking up on Saturday and Sunday to a whole day of trying to get through with no real schedule. Saturday night is Friday night squared. And Sunday and Sunday evening are spent preparing for another week in this misery.

I'm just having a much needed moan to folks who aren't going to psycho-analyze and try to "fix" my situation. You know there isn't a magic technique that will miraculously change me instantly.

Thanks for your support and the outlet

Love to you all,

John

[marsha]

John - I do believe you're speaking for all of us when it concerns weekends. What used to be looked forward to, hanging out, watching football, lazy Sunday morning breakfasts - it's a void now. Cooking shows always soothed me - so in the first months I must have logged 1000 hours of Top Chef viewing. Cleaning my toilets - always a good outlet (!) What I tried to do was little tasks. Clean out a closet - listen to music. Read, if you can - and I've only just started to be able to concentrate on a whole book. Post here. Fifteen minute increments of doing this and that, and the day passes. I know this sounds simplistic - but in reality, that was all I could do in the early months - take it 15 minutes at a time. Now it's a day at a time - I'm sure the other folks will have ideas to share, and in the meantime, vent away. Hugs, Marsha

[derby]

John,

Ditto on what you posted~~~

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't wait till next time this week when at least Xmas will have passed us by. Vent anytime you feel like it. It's good for the soul. Blessings, Debbie

[Kat2005]

John, you have got that right. I can hardly remember when I actually looked forward to the weekends. Now I look forward to the work week. I can't believe that those words are coming out of my mouth. I've learned to try to keep busy. I think it has even gotten worse since the time changed and the nights are longer. The Holidays aren't helping either.

Just remember you are not alone here. There are wonderful compassionate people willing to listen at anytime. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care,

Kat

[azusaman]

John, I can relate to the lonely house scenario. I try to cook a little bit but then that reminds me of Adrianne and I cooking together. Then I started drinking and playing some blues on my guitar...would help for a few hours but the grief always was there. No magic "fix" is right. No cliches or trite statements from me. I'll just say the very best to you from someone who is going through the process too.

Ted

[LindaKoz]

I agree with all of you. Weekends used to be filled with joy and love. Now they are flat. Yesterday we had a snow storm and I stayed in my pajamas the entire day. Trying to write a paper which is due tomorrow but my mind just isn't there. I long for the times spent with Brian and it really didn't matter what we were doing. We just had fun being together.

I'm keeping everyone in my prayers on this Sunday morning. I hope we all find a way to get through this day and that perhaps we find moments of peace and solace. Love and hugs to you all.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

[Rochel]

I'm with the rest of you...Where ever you go there are shoppers (what for) this year I'm almost cynical about Christmas which I hate to be...however, in light of losing a loved one, what is it all for...just a reminder of the knife that cuts so deep...Christmas caroles are all around...another reminder...I'm looking forward to next Sunday, it will be over then "New Years Eve" uggh...The loss is felt no matter what you do...you can't run from it...I'm coming up on 3 mos and still I'm in CA and not in the memory home in AZ...I will really need the Lord to give me strength upon my return to home and triggers...I know that we are all struggling with our own individual tests and trials, but the Lord will see us thru...Bless you all on this Sunday night..Yeah the weekend is almost over....Rochel