derby Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 Hello All, Tomorrow night is the night I return to my class that I have not attented since August 19th. The beginning of the end of my husbands journey. When I returned home that night, I found out he was admitted to the first of the four hospitals and then finally hospice where his life journey ended. It is with so many different feelings and apprehension I return. Its so unbelievable to imagine when I last attented, I still had him in my life. Another mountain to climb. Another first night of coming back home and he will not be here for me to share what I did. But its time for me to go back and reclaim that part of my life. Rebuild for me... hoping we all have the courage to do those things we did in the past that were just for us. To improve us, to help us grow. And someday, help us heal. Blessings....Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon3 Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 Good luck to you tomorrow Debbie.....you are a courageous woman. Let us know how you make out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 Dear Derby, I will be praying for your strength and focus as you continue your classes. I applaud you for facing your mountain! Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat2005 Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 Debbie, Good luck tonight! You are taking a major positive step in your life. Good for you! Take care, Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneC Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 Good Luck Debbie in returning to your class. The time seems right for you now and that will be a major hurdle for you to get over. Love and God Bless, Jeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David'sGirlStill Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 My thoughts and hugs are with you!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 Debbie, As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope all goes well for you tonight. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted January 6, 2010 Report Share Posted January 6, 2010 Good luck, Debbie - let us know how it went - Hugs, Marsha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derby Posted January 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 Thank you all so much for the thoughtful encouraging words. Went pretty well. Of course I cried on the way, but as I was there, memories that I had blocked from that night came back to mind. Things I had not really thought about since August 19. Hopefully another stepping stone. We all just try to embrace, confront, manage, when and only when, we feel up to doing so. YOu all have been so wonderful to me and I appreciate so much being able to post and know that you are all here to help lift others up. I am so grateful for the kindness expressed here. Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susie Q Posted January 7, 2010 Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 Congratulations Debbie. I return to work next week - haven't been back since August 18th. Your post has given me more courage to believe I can press forward through this difficult step. I'm not concerned about the people who I know, will be wonderful. It's all the other things. He won't be waiting for me downstairs to see if I need anything carried to the car, no kiss and smile on the way out, no phone call ever again during the day to see if he could start dinner in some way or to tell me some news. I never took any of those caring ways for granted. I just want him back! I know there'll be lots of tears at work but if they want me, the tears are part of the package. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derby Posted January 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 SusieQ, My thoughts and wishes for you as you return to work. When I went back to my job, someone suggested I email my boss and co-workers to let them know how I felt, express my fears etc. I took their advise and it really helped. Also I visited before I went in and that really helped me with anxiety and allowed my co-workers to comfort me and say what they wanted to say. I went back on a Thursday and Friday for only 1/2 days and for me that worked since it was not so overwhelming. It has become easier, but I still cry. On the way to work or on the way home. This week I actually had some moments of feeling happy. And thats all I can ask for because moments will turn into minutes, into hours, on so on. I will keep you in my thoughts and do whatever it is that is best for you. Blessings, Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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