Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Enough Already? Or...

Recommended Posts

Okay. One of my biggest fears after Bob died was what would I do if I ever got a flat tire? It may seem like a small thing, but he was my rescuer in times of trouble. Also, I worried about being alone somewhere with the kids and really not knowing what to do. So, what happened, but my first tire went flat in the garage. The neighbor took it off for me and I brought it in to be fixed. No sweat...nothing to fear except fear itself. The second tire picks up a nail on a camping trip, but I managed to drive home and promptly have it fixed. Still, I'm feeling almost sure of myself this time.

Today, with the freezing rain, my commute became an hour and a half and my tire is nearly flat when I get to work. There are all kinds of guys there willing to help, but not wanting to bother anyone, I take it up and fill it with air. The guys at the office direct me to the nearest tire center. Luckily I had free repairs on our warranty and so far, none of this has cost me anything, yet. I find out my treads are bare and I haven't rotated the tires in the three years I've had them, so I have to buy a couple new ones.

I gave my van away last month, to a widow who was left with basically nothing. She didn't have an easy life to begin with and I ached for her. In her appreciation, she paid me enough to buy my new tires. I am grateful the flat occured in the daytime, amongst people that had my back and I had the money to cover the fix. It could have been horrible had it happened on the way home from work, in the dark, icy rain on a dangerously busy highway. I know I'm given just what I need. I feel cared for that way. It's been sort of uncanny my whole life. (Mind you, I don't usually get a lick extra, but I certainly have had enough.) So, now my fear of my flat tires is gone and it has been replaced by annoyance. So, if God is listening, thank you for the lesson, you may now leave my tires alone and I promise to have them rotated every 6-8000 miles. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This morning I went into the garage, which just happens to be half-filled with John's stuff. I've been slowly removing many of his things from the house but the garage is as far as I have gotten it. Just not ready for his things to be gone yet, so I decided I would just go through the winter with the car sitting outside in the driveway.

Of course, we have had more snow in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania this winter than we have had for years! But okay, I'm not going out that much anymore anyways, now that I've retired.

Back to this morning, I flip on the light switch and I see the outline of water all around the floor drain. Oh, no!

And there is what looks like ... could that be?.... Oh, God, it looks like little bits of paper. Toilet paper.

I call and get a plumber willing to come out later today. Plumber calls me on phone at 4:00, saying "I've been ringing your doorbell for 15 minutes now, lady." Turns out doorbell is not working anymore. Okay.

Plumber uses electric eel and fairly promptly opens clogged main sewer line. Tells me "I had the hook on it and didn't bring anything out. And you have plastic pipe, so it wouldn't be roots. Do you have any small grandchildren who might have flushed something?" Well, yes, I do have a 4 year old grandson, but I think he's old enough to know not to flush things.......... or is he? And yes, he was here for the day about a week ago. Oh, well, I don't want to accuse the little guy, but grandma will have to have a talk with him just to remind him about toilets.

Plumber says "Could you go back into your laundry room and run the water in the laundry sink on full blast so we get some water going through the system? Sure, no problem.

Laundry tray faucet has a skinny little hose on it because - now why does it have this short, skinny hose on it? Oh, that was from when the old washer took forever to fill, so I would use the hose to help fill the washer faster. But the new washer fills just fine. And nobody ever took the small hose off the faucet.

So I dutifully turn the water on full blast, both hot and cold side, "to get that flow going", . I then go back out into the garage. Plumber says "I don't think there's any water coming through the line" So I head back to the laundry room and discover that the pressure of that much water on the small hose has actually LIFTED the hose up into the air and there is now what looks like a squiqqly black snake, spewing a FOUNTAIN of water which is cascading off the ceiling and down one wall of the laundry room!

And at that point, I had to laugh out loud! (It was laugh or cry at that point!) An entire rack of hanging clothes clean out of the dryer and hung on hangers was dripping, a folding table with freshly folded towels and sheets was soaked, a 5' x 8' rather thick area rug on the floor was so soaked that my feet went "squish, squish" when I walked across it, etc. etc. etc. BUT, it was clean water, not poop water, so for that I am grateful.

Well, I got the water going with less force into the sink, the plumber pronounced the sewer line to be open and flowing just fine, so I was a happy camper.

I then moved lots of stuff around in the garage with the plumber's help (he was nice) and used a hose and Clorox to clean up the concrete floor in there.

Then, feeling a bit like Scarlett O'Hara, I decided to think about tackling the sopping area rug and the wet laundry room floor and the wet towels and wet folded sheets tomorrow.

But, hey, I did what I had to do and I feel good about that.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know exactly what you are talking about...........it is either laugh or cry and I have done both when those sorts of things surface. When I was moving I called Habitat for Humanity to see if they wanted a patio door set and 2 windows we had stored for our cottage we were building but decided against. I described them to them and they said they would send someone out in 3 weeks. So 4 days before I had to leave my house the guy comes to pick up and says we can't take these...not the kind they put in houses. I told him I described them perfectly on the phone and he still said no .....so I cried because now I am moving and what do I do...............through my tears I said my husband had them for our cottage but now they are not being used..........he said "Oh A DIVORCE"....I said no my husband died"....He came over and gave me a big hug and then said I still can't take them I am sorry and left. That happened in August...I managed to get some of my husband's friends to take them to the dump...but I will never forget that day and that hug and the sincerety from a complete stranger, even though he couldn't help me. When I closed the door on that house 6 months after my husband passed away I was like you very proud of myself and all that I had to go through to get there and I used Scarlett O'Hara on many occasions along that path. I hope you continue to acknowledge your accomplishments because they are all huge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I seem to find inspiration everywhere some days.....I just picked up a magazine and thought I would share this quote from Theodoe Roosevelt that I just read.

"It is not the critic who counts, nor the person who points out how the strong person stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the person who is actually marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows great enthusiasm and great devotions."

That is us......we are falling down, dusting ourselves off and trying again and again while we get through each day and whatever challenges that brings. We have those who judge us and have false expectations of us.............if they only knew the strength it takes to loose the love of your life and continue living.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, what a great quote. I have copied it and will print it out (as soon as I can get my printer working again!) and put it on the front of my refrigerator.

Well, Scarlett tackled the laundry room today. Hey, it needed to be cleaned anyway. Rolling up the soaked 5 ft. x 8 ft. fringed area rug and dragging it out to the driveway was the most challenging task. It was heavy, but I did it. Thankfully it was around 46 degrees, clear and sunny here in Pittsburgh today. So now the driveway right outside of the garage door is graced with a large, wet, multicolored fringed area rug! (Ummm, with my luck it will snow 6 inches tonight!)

As it turns out, most of the water was sopped up by the area rug, so mopping the concrete laundry room floor was no problem. I aimed two box fans, one at the wall and one at the floor, and then began the process of drying wet clothing, wet towels and wet sheets.

Oh, and the laundry area has a set of deep wooden shelves, probably 10 ft. long by about 2 1/2 ft. deep, along one wall. Turns out some of that stuff got a bit "damp" also. And while poking around I found SO many things! A stack of boxes of self-stick floor tiles. Purchased on sale and intended for a floor project that never took place. Five rolls of wallpaper and four rolls of wallpaper border, another sale purchase, another project that never took place.

Wow! We had PLANS, didn't we?

All in all, it was a good day. Things are under control. God willing it won't rain or snow tonight and tomorrow the sun will come out again here in Pittsburgh. And tomorrow I will attempt to place folding chairs in the driveway and hoist the soggy area rug up onto the chairs. If the sun is shining.

I guess I can say, while today I am no longer laughing, at least I am not crying. Oh, and there's no more water coming up out of that garage floor drain, so what more can I ask of life?


Link to comment
Share on other sites


Thank you for bringing a smile to my face! We all have those days, and esp. since our husbands died. Somehow I've managed to get through these past five years. And I don't change tires either but I do rotate every 5,000 miles. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...