Where To Start

[cathybo]

Hello I lost of partner 3 weeks ago. Greg died suddenly without warning of a massive heart attack on a Sat morning home alone with the dog while the rest of us were out doing our Sat morning activities. Greg and I had a second chance at love and he was my best friend and soul mate. We shared our lives with our blended family of three beautiful children. We had plans, visiting college with the oldest, going to Greece in April to celebrate my 50. Then in a second the world as I knew it changed. He was gone and now how do I live a life without him. I am back at work but just going thru the motions, not really feeling like myself. I am filled with dread, sadness, a empty feeling, and pain that makes my whole body ache. I don't know where to start.

[LarrysGirl]

cathybo, I'm so sorry for your loss. The feelings you are having are normal and part of the grief. It affects you not only emotionally but physically so it is very important to take care of yourself. Take it a day at a time and rest. I also lost my soul mate and best friend (now over 4 yrs.) but I found this site and it helped me to share my feelings with people who really understood what this type of loss feels like. Keep writing here, it will help you heal. Deborah

[ARiddle729]

So sorry to hear of your loss and so suddenly too makes it all the more painful. I lost my husband a little over 1 month ago and it is just almost too much to bear at times. I think the biggest shock for me at first was the actual physical pain that I felt. I have lost family members and even a still born baby girl, but nothing has ever hurt like this physically and emotionally. The next big shock I had was the effect simple little things had on me. Something as trivial as noticing the screw that Dan put in the door trim last summer can set me off in a crying fit and I never know when or where they are going to hit.

I wish you all the best.

Angie

[Sharon3]

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband suddenly of a heart attack and while it will be 13 months on Wednesday, the shock and sadness still come. You will find comfort on this site by knowing that others feel as you do and you are not going crazy and things will get better and people will still disappoint you and you will still be grateful for those that continue to support you. The thing about this site and the grief counsellor I see is that your feelings will be validated....feeling it will also release it. Be kind to yourself.

[kayc]

Cathybo,

It sounds a lot like what I went through nearly five years ago...my George died of a heart attack and up until then we hadn't known he even had heart problems! He had just turned 51 that week.

I remember feeling in a daze, my heart hurt so bad I didn't think I would survive...and not sure I wanted to, I just wanted to be with him...I didn't know how I'd go on without him. Life for me has never been the same. But this site has been a blessing, and I've learned you can survive almost anything, and I've learned to live with it somehow. I can't say as I've found meaning and purpose yet, but I do have my dog and I live for him. It's hard going through the motions of life at first, but somehow you learn to even do that. Please feel free to come on line here any time and express yourself, it all helps.

[Maryo]

Cathybo,

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Husband July 2008.This site has been very helpful to me and I hope it will be as comforting to you also.

Take care.

Mary Lou

[Korina]

Cathybo:

My husband died quite suddenly last June - we were both 41 at the time and our first child was 4.5 months old. Losing your best friend, partner, and soulmate is such a complete shock to your system. The best advice I have for those early days (and still today, for me), besides trying to eat and take care of yourself, is to just take it one moment or day at a time. Also, as I have read so many times on this forum, don't feel pressured to feel a certain way or expect to be a particular 'stage' of grieving. There is no timetable; it is a very difficult journey, but you will learn to adjust to your new reality.

And don't be afraid to ask for help or a shoulder to lean on from trusted friends or family. That said, don't expect everyone to say the right things all the time, because they won't, particularly if they have never experienced a loss such as yours. However, most are trying, though they may not know what to say or how to say it.

I hope you keep coming back us.

Korina