Dying Inside

[nancyf]

We had to put our beloved cocker spaniel down on Tuesday. I cannot stop crying and am simply riddled with grief. As hard as I try, I cannot yet see the light that has to be at the end of this long tunnel. Maggie was almost 12, and every bit my child... one who never grew up, never left home, and loved me as much as anyone on this earth ever has. God bless all of us here who are suffering. Thank you.

[MartyT]

Nancy, dear, you have our deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved Maggie. You are among kindred spirits here, and I hope you can feel our loving arms around you . . .

[nwnightowl]

Hi Nancyf,

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my jack russell Harley about 5 1/2 weeks ago, I too feel like I am dying inside. This probably won't make you feel better but I have been crying everyday for almost 8 weeks, I just can't stop. I miss him so much, and I know what you mean about not seeing the light, I can't imagine every being happy again at this point. I don't have any words of wisdome, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and there are others who feel as you do. Take care of yourself, hugs, Elizabeth

[nancyf]

Thanks to both of you. Elizabeth, I too have a Jack Russell, who belonged to my dad (he died in 2002), then became my mom's trusted loyal companion. She died in April 2009, and I've had him a couple of years now. I think he's grieving, as he has gone from "stalking" my every move to wanting nothing to do with me since Maggie's death. He's 14 and I know his time will be coming up in the next few years as well. Crying... I wonder when it will stop. I try to distract myself for a few minutes and then thoughts of my precious Mags come creeping in and my whole body feels racked with pain. I'm certain you know what that means. I never realized how bad this would hurt

[nwnightowl]

Hi Nancy,

That's cool that you have a jack russell. I never knew it would hurt this much either. My dog was almost 15 but I only had him 22 months so to me he was less than 2. I adopted him later in life and he was my special needs boy. Dover one of my other jacks was his best friend and Dover is heart broken. Dover is 5 1/2 years old and for 5 1/2 years his tail never stopped wagging and now it doesn't wag anymore. He justs sits on Harley's bed with the saddest look on his face, it just breaks my heart. I haven't been able to function since Harley died, I miss him so much a part of me wishes I could die to so I could go to wherever he is and be with him. The crying is really getting old. Maybe Harley and Maggie are playing together in the newcomer's club. I wish I felt like this would get better at some point, but I don't yet. Everyone says give it time. I am reading a bunch of grief books, but so far they aren't much comfort. I just want him back so badly.

There is a good pet loss chat on Wednesday nights on alln.org. I try to go each week it seems like a really good group of people. I hope you find some sunshine this weekend, I hate weekends now because Harley died on Sunday so I start dreading them about Thursday. Hang in there, I will be sending you good wishes, Elizabeth

[Imadaddysgirl2]

I'm so sorry you lost your baby. My wonderful protector just died. He was a 5 year old cat who got hit by a car. We found out 2 days ago, but he was missing on June 3rd. All the best to you.- Renee

[kayc]

I'm sorry you lost your baby, if I lost my Arlie I don't know how I could bear it, I've already had so many losses in the last six years...a husband, a dog, and four cats, not to mention another marriage.

The degree to which we loved is the degree to which we mourn, so it is perfectly normal to be feeling as you are when you had such a wonderful relationship with your Cocker Spaniel. They are, BTW, wonderful dogs.