Queeniemary Posted August 19, 2010 Report Posted August 19, 2010 Today is Michael's birthday, he would have been 63. I have dreaded this day for a long time. I have to work today, and maybe that will help me get through it. I still miss him so much, and guess I always will. He has been gone a little over 7 months. Every one of these "firsts" without him are a challenge. Thank God for friends, family and this forum. Praying for all of us in this club we did not ask to join. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas
lizz Posted August 19, 2010 Report Posted August 19, 2010 Dear Mary, I just joined this club July 21. Our wedding anniversary is coming up in Sept as well as his 53rd birthday. Double whammy. I approach these firsts with great trepidation. I will remember you today in my thoughts and prayers. {{{HUGS}}} Lizz
kayc Posted August 19, 2010 Report Posted August 19, 2010 Mary, My thoughts and prayers go with you today. I think the first year is esp. hard because of reaching all those "firsts without". I know I felt a sense of relief when that first year ended. The second year is not necessarily any easier, but at least the first year you get to check off all those milestones as having survived them. (((hugs))) Kay
PopPop Posted August 19, 2010 Report Posted August 19, 2010 Dear Mary, I just wanted to let you know that I will keep you in my thoughts today. I understand what you're going through because tomorrow will be the first wedding anniversary since I lost my darling Robin on June 23, 2010. I think having something to do, even though it is work, is a good thing. I can't remember if I read it here or somewhere else but someone said that as hard as it is to get through and acknowledge these days you only have to get through the first one once. That seemed like sound thinking/advice to me. Warmest Regards, PopPop
PopPop Posted August 19, 2010 Report Posted August 19, 2010 Very well said Kay. That is another bit of wisdom I will have to keep in my mental file. PopPop
nats Posted August 19, 2010 Report Posted August 19, 2010 Queeniemary, Hello I know how you feel... Ruth's been with the Lord for 6 months now, and I felt that ernormous grief that day but I faced it head on and each day we do face the harsh reality it makes us stronger...the pain and sadness are still overwhelming at times, but I've accepted they will always be there cause I will always miss Ruth, so as my friend Brenda says just go with the flow, as you know she lost her husband as I've mentioned on my posts and she just had her 1 year mark 8/1/10, she feels just like us and we all must just take it day by day because there is no preparing or learning about grief until you have it happen to you and if it does we all must do what we feel makes us comfortable.... "Dear Lord, Please comfort Mary and wrap your loving arms around her today and allow her some peace" Amen NATS
Queeniemary Posted August 20, 2010 Author Report Posted August 20, 2010 Thank you all, my forum family, for the thoughts and prayers today. I have almost made it through the day. I did not stay at work all day, just got too sad, and they were very understanding. Came home, and cried some, looked at pictures, and wished him a Happy Birthday on facebook, along with many of his friends. Talked to my best friend in Arizona, and got through most of the day. All these firsts, as has been said, are hard, but we have to go through them. I have gone through our 20th anniversary, and now his birthday, next bad one will be anniversary of his death in January. New years eve will be hard also, as we spent that with special friends, and he loved Halloween, loved to be in costume. Oh, well, I will get through those also, with a little (make that a lot) of help from all my friends, including all of you. I am grateful for the day I found this site. I think I was guided here. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas
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