RoryH Posted August 29, 2010 Report Share Posted August 29, 2010 Hi everyone - been a little while since I've been on here, but finding it a tough day. I guess in myself I'm doing OK, but am really struggling supporting Mum. I live a couple of hours away, and find the tears down the phone every day so so difficult. I feel bad for not being able to be there, and bad that I feel I can never tell her how I'm feeling. I start a new job in a couple of weeks (on what weirdly would have been Dad's birthday) and am scared that I'm not going to be able to cope with supporting Mum's emotions when I have so much new stress in my life. She's waiting on seeing a counsellor, but I can't tell her I can't cope with trying to support her grief at the same time as dealing with my own. She says she's not putting pressure on me to spend more time up there, but then implies she'd like me to come sooner when we've arranged when next to meet - which makes me feel guilty/angry/confused and feel bad for trying to get on with my life. I feel so horrible for feeling the way I do, I'm angry at everything for putting me in this situation and myself for feeling the way I do. I'm spending the bulk (bar two days) of the next 3 weeks before I start my new job with Mum - so hope that'll help things - but don't know what I'll do if she's not feeling a little better before I have to start a stressful new job. On top of that I hate that I can't tell Dad about my new job, he'd have driven me crazy wanting to know every detail - god I miss that. Sorry for the somewhat incoherent ramble, but thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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