melina Posted September 3, 2010 Report Share Posted September 3, 2010 It's nearly a month since he's been gone. I'm sorry for posting again so soon. I am really bombarding people with stuff here - but I have no one else to talk to. This group has been my best friend and saving grace through this whole mess. My kids are great, but they're going back to school now and besides, I don't want to unload my misery upon them when they have their own grief to deal with and school to manage. I want them to live as normally as possible, find pleasure in life and do well in school. I wish I had family I could talk to - but they don't understand why I haven't moved on by now. My brother just e-mailed me and told me to stop being so melodramatic. He says I should just find pleasure in a good book, a nice meal, a walk in the woods or some music. He said that after a long hectic life raising four sons, I should enjoy my time alone. This feels almost sadistic. They just don't get it. Enjoy my time alone??? And how can I possibly concentrate on a book? I have to force myself to walk in order to get some exercise, but I find no pleasure in food or music either. Now it's the weekend. People are off doing weekend stuff with their husbands and families. My friends, all married with families, offer to have me come over, but I don't want to be with couples or happy families.I feel so utterly lonely. I used to look forward to weekends. Fridays were fantastic. Now it's just another miserable day alone. Jeez I sound depressing, but it feels like this will never end. It's really a nightmare to end all nightmares. Maybe I'm still partly in shock. I can't believe this has happened. How could it happen to us? We were so normal. Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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