Hate Friday's

[Nick]

Hi,

I use to love weekends now I hate them. Hearing the garage door open early knowing my husband was coming home from work was the best! We would usually go for a walk or take the kids to the park then have an easy dinner, very relaxing. Sunday's were always family days zoo, parks, outside, church out to eat. I don't know what to do with myself and my children all weekend long. I find it very lonely and hate having to be alone taking them out. I feel like everyone assumes I'm divorced which drives me crazy! Seeing all the happy families with kids with their dads just breaks my heart. Why do my children have to grow up without their daddy??? I just don't know how to approach this with me being in a better place. I want my two young boys to have fun and look forward to things like other children do on the weekends. It's so hard for me to manage a 3 and 5 year old all alone that is another problem I'm facing I feel trapped in my home. Either not wanting to go out to face my cruel reality or not up for the challenge with two little ones. Sorry I guess I'm just anticipating a horrible weekend when all I hear about is all the plans people have and how they are so looking forward to a long holiday weekend. For me it's just the opposite during the week I'm so busy, but during the weekends that is when things really start weighing on my heart. Thanks for listening I know all of you out there can relate to what I'm saying. Take care!

[Jennalee]

Wow, I am SO VERY SORRY you are dealing with this. I lost my husband two weeks ago. He was only 29. We did not have any children though, so I absolutely cannot imagine how hard this must be for your children. I realize you hate weekends. So many of us do. All I can suggest is that you take your children out. Maybe to the Children's Discovery Museum, a movie or to the park. I know it's hard, and I know seeing other families is nearly impossible to deal with. But we must go on, and we will heal. As much as it hurts right now, we WILL get over this. Please take care. I know it's hard.

[kayc]

Nick,

Ask us, most of us don't have plans either. I think we all have that in common, that the weekends are the hardest. I work 50 miles away from home M-F so am gone a lot and have two big dogs to walk twice a day so I don't have a lot of time weekdays, but weekends are definitely harder. That used to be me and George's time, we were always together. I keep busy cleaning the house, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, etc. but there's no fun in my life anymore. If I had time to make friends it might be better but I really don't have time, that's where retired people have an advantage. My GF is always entertaining and going places, has lots of friends, but she's retired. I can't spend time with her much cuz she's always gone or with others. I don't know the answer. I used to take the dogs for rides to do something fun, but the transmission went out in my truck so I can't even do that anymore. I hate to think this is all there is, all there will ever be, just struggle and work and loneliness. It gets old. I guess I shouldn't have responded, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm despondent because my fiance dumped me, I don't know. All I know is, life has never been the same since George died and it never will be. People don't understand that, how far encompassing it is.

If you have a friend, meet them for coffee now and then, or the two of you take your kids somewhere enjoyable for them. Staying in with the kids 24/7 will drive you batty, them too. We may not be able to change your situation, but we can listen and care...we understand.

Kay

[redwind30]

I can certainly relate. Eveyone at work was excited about the long weekend. I am glad to not have to go in. But, it sure has been a tough day tody. Weekends are just another reminder of what I have lost. My husband and I were both "homebodies" and did not do alot on weenends. But, just being together was enough. I am afraind that I am going to become one of those people who just stays locked in the house all of the time. I don't want to do anything, but cry. It was 19 weeks ago today that I lost him, so Saturdays are paticulary painful. I just don't feel like I fit in anywhere any more. Closest family member is over 500 miles away. There are not many people who are widowed at the age of 50, at least not where I live. I just feel so empty and alone. I take care of my precious little dog, go to work, come home, take care of the pup, go to bed and get up the next day and do it all over again. I can't even THINK of anything fun to do. I just feel so lost. I don't think the pain will ever end.

[Korina]

While I only have on little one, I know it can be very tough. And the first weeks were SOOO hard, seeing families where the dad in the picture. Terrible feeling.

But I was able to get up in the mornings because of Kailyn. I promised Scott (as he was lying on life support) that I would take care of Kailyn as best as I could, but that I expected him to help out whenever/however he could! She has been my saviour. And remember that you were a mom of 2 children before your husband died, which as any mom knows, makes you strong. So you will be able to handle it because you are strong. Just remember that for quite a while, you will likely only be able to take it a day at a time, and long term planning will be tough. But I have no doubt that your kids will, in their own way, help you along this VERY bumpy and scary road.

Hugs,

Korina

[MZM]

Nick

I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my fiance about 6 weeks ago and have been struggling with it, I can only imagine what you must be going through!

We were together for just over 3 years and were together every single day. I used to wait for his car to come home and he would shout out loud fo me and I would run to the door - literally, even 3 years later. Weekends are hard - I hate fridays too. Especially when people are saying "Have a good weekend"... I practically start crying then and there!! What works for me is spending time with my sister or my friends ... but sometimes you just want to be alone. Cry...or write in a journal...it really helps...

Zubeir and I used to, just like you, have plans for the entire weekend. We were planning on going away for the long weekend coming up and what I've done is booked away with my girl friends to go away as I know that I will be sobbing that entire weekend...

[melina]

I also hate hearing about other people's plans. I still haven't returned to work and am on sick leave, so weekends and weekdays are all pretty miserable. I do have to go to the store now and then. Just seeing families or couples together, talking about their weekend plans or vacation, reduces me to tears. I can barely get through to the cash register.

I understand it must be hard being alone with young children. I have older children - the youngest is 19, but seeing their pain and tears and talk about their father is like a knife in my stomach. I so wanted him to see them finish their educations. They wanted to show their dad they could get their degrees, get married, have him be as great a grandfather as he was a father. Our youngest son is still at home, and I worry I'm going to be a depressing mom to be around. We're both grieving and I have little to give him apart from hugs and food.

It hurts so much to think about this - even writing it is painful. Life does seem meaningless right now. We can only hope things will get a little easier.

Melina