niamh Posted October 3, 2010 Report Share Posted October 3, 2010 I am feeling just so lost and lonely.it feels like another layer has been pealed back revealing a little more of this horrid reality these last few days. I'm feeling angry to with friends and family who are supposed to be there for me. I am truly sick of hearing people tell me they are always there for me night or day and will do anything.at the end of the day it's not the truth,they will be there when it suits them.the few times ive reached out and asked for something it's just a let down so now I really do give up on them.I'm just not going to ask anymore because I really cannot take these stupid let downs. My heart aches so much for my Daddy,he would and could not EVER let me down and I just want him back. I have nobody I really trust anymore,they keep on letting me down.don't give me this BS of being there for me and not following through.I'm not even expecting much,if someone says they will return a call,just return it or let me know you can't call.....that's not much to expect.I know it's being over sensitive but it just plain annoys me and that feeling is being magnified a million times these days. With some if I am not the one who makes contact I hear nothing for weeks/months......yet I've apologised a hundred times explaining I struggle to make contact. Some family cannot even acknowledge my feelings,I say I'm still having a hard time when asked and it's just ignored.....geez thanks for nothing. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore.as I keep saying my Mom is truly all that keeps me going. I wish I could fast forward and just get to see and be with my Dad again. right now I'm so angry I never want to see or speak to these people again.I know I will,this anger will pass but things will never be how they used to be with anyone.it will always be in the back of my head about these let downs and never really having faith in what they say to me. Me is all I can rely on now and that's such a lonely and scary feeling,knowing there is nobody in this world who will be there for me like my Dad was. Yeah everyone was there those first few days when this major horrific nightmare began,so yeah I can count on them for the major things but it's now more than ever I need someone to be there.well no more waiting or expecting on my part,no point and at least then there is no disappointment. I just needed to get this out somewhere safe before my insides just explode with all this pain and hurt. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Niamh Xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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