How Long Does The Crying Last?

[melina]

I'm so tired of crying every single day. I have a period in the morning which can last from one to three hours. But it returns in the afternoon, and then again at night when I go to bed. My eyes are always sore and swollen, my nose is always stuffy. I know it's normal to cry, also a long time after losing your loved one, but this intense crying - sometimes sobbing loudly - when will that taper off? I'm so exhausted.

Melina

[Lindakay]

I lost my dad in 2000 on mom's birthday 12/10. I cried everyday mostly in private. He had a wonderful life and I was with him the last night over night with my brother. We had six sibs so we paired up to attend him at home and Hospice would come in. I had told him I get dream visitations. Mom had also told him about what I get. I asked him to come visit after he goes. He said he would. On his birthday in Feb 10 2001. I had a visit from him. He would have been 86. He worked every day with four of the sibs and mom at the family business. He loved working. He couldn't the last 6 weeks of his life.

Congestive heart failure took 6 weeks that he could say goodbye. He appeared in his 60's and a bit heavier in appearance. He was out of that Hospice bed in the den where everyone would be with him. There was windows there to look out. I asked mom in the dream where he was. She said he's taking a shower. He was always a clean old guy. Then I saw him eating breakfast with a brother in law and bank rep I knew. He had power breakfast every morning with people he knew from the industry. He was a pioneer in the manufactured home business in Tampa. Knew everyone for over 50 years. I knew at the end he didn't hardly eat anything. I asked him, How is this possible and looked at the empty bed. He spoke and smiled at me. He said, I just wanted you to know, it's not so bad. I'm fine. Melina, I woke up and knew it wasn't just a dream. These always wake you with energy running through you. I called mom a few hours later. I couldn't cry anymore. It wasn't the only time he came. Maybe it stops when you know they're ok. Maybe you're crying for you. I've done that but it does get better. You can bring it all back to that day if you aren't careful. I can drive home like everyday and think of the day I came home and found him dead. My husband that is. The tears always come at will. So don't get caught in that time loop. Focus on a good place in time and feel better, girl. LindaKay

[Mrs. B]

Yesterday I woke up and looked out the window to a drizzly rainy morning. I didn't want to get out of bed. It was warm and I had nothing to do or to look forward to get up like I use to on a Sunday morning. I thought about how Rick and i used get up me making the coffee, him the eggs and bacon and me toast duty. I thought about how it use to be for all the kids and their friends and what fun it was having a house full. Then it was just me and him and now just me. I have a TV by my bed so i put in the dvd i made of rick. I watched it and you know it was the first time that I didn't cry. I had a feeling in my chest that felt good and i found myself smiling and remembering the memories that went with them. I think it means that I am healing. Dont get me wrong I still miss. But I was for the first time in a year and a half a little more at peace. So what I wanted to tell you is it takes time but the tears will stop but not the thoughts. They turn into happy memories. Do take care of yourself. Mrs. B

[nats]

Melina,

I'm approaching 8 months and cry often sometimes just out of the blue it hits me....don't hold it back it's good for you I know it's tiring and an inconvienace at times like when I'm at work but crying is one of the body's ways of healing...."from Wiki, Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical composition which differs from other types of tears. They contain significantly greater quantities of hormones prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, Leu-enkephalin and the elements potassium and manganese" these are needed by our complex mind and body to heal.....from reading the more we cry the better as it eases some of the heart ache...it does let up and the times get shorter, but I have come to terms I will always cry when I remember Ruth now and forever so I don't even try and suppress it anymore or give it a second thought and if it happens in public or work Oh well, I don't care what people think because they don't know how I feel or what it like so they may think as they wish, and if they would like to cry with me that's OK also.....

NATS

[melina]

Today has just been one of those awful, awful days. I've been crying on and off ever since I got up, and now it's seven in the evening. I haven't been able to do anything except sob. And I haven't seen or talked to anybody. This kind of crying is new to me. It's the kind of sobbing a very small child does. And I can't seem to stop.

Melina

[kayc]

How long does the crying last? It's a lot at first and it gradually lessens, I imagine it's different for everyone, but for me, the first two or three months was probably the worst. Then it comes and goes, sometimes no rhyme or reason, sometimes when you least expect it, sometimes the dumbest things can set it off. But it because less frequent. I remember crying while commuting a year or two later, but not every day.

[sunstreet]

Oh dear Melina, I pray you just let the tears flow as they want to come and try not to worry how long they last, or when it will stop. It will be 7 years for me this December 25 and I was once where you are right now. It will ease is all I can reassure you with. I would be concerned if you were not able to cry. It is a horrible deep loss that transcends into our souls and it hurts beyond what words alone can describe. I believe the more we can let the waves of pain come as they may, the more able we are to endure that wave of pain, and the more able the pain transforms into something we can carry and enjoy life again. I will leave you with two quotes that I have framed on my on my bedroom wall. I hope they help you as they have me.

Blessings, Carol Ann

TEARLESS GRIEF BLEEDS INWARDLY ~ Christian Nevell Bovee

LET YOUR TEARS COME..LET THEM WATER YOUR SOUL ~ Eileen Mayhew