melina Posted October 14, 2010 Report Share Posted October 14, 2010 Yesterday I wrote I was feeling better and seeing progress. Today I'm feeling terrible again. I wish these little tidal waves would pass me by. I was optimistic, and now I'm so tired of feeling bad. Life seems meaningless and I just sit here sobbing. It's nearly seven-thirty in the evening. I usually never cry at this time. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's now 9 weeks since I lost my soulmate. Today I was in a store which was busy decorating for Christmas! Here in Norway we don't have Thanksgiving, but Halloween was introduced a few years ago. Christmas seems to get here earlier and earlier - but this time I'm not looking forward to it. All our traditions and rituals will be without my husband this year. I dread the very thought of it, and being reminded of it as early as mid-October is torture. ow that I'm reminded of Christmas - I'm reminded of a lot of other things. His birthday, for example, on December 13th. And after Christmas there is New Year's, winter break, spring break and summer vacation (when we always went somewhere together). How will I cope? I still don't understand why - after doing quite well the past few days - I feel right now like I did several weeks ago when the grief was new. I'm just so worn out. Won't I ever get past this phase? Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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