Christmas Already?

[melina]

Yesterday I wrote I was feeling better and seeing progress. Today I'm feeling terrible again. I wish these little tidal waves would pass me by. I was optimistic, and now I'm so tired of feeling bad. Life seems meaningless and I just sit here sobbing. It's nearly seven-thirty in the evening. I usually never cry at this time. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's now 9 weeks since I lost my soulmate.

Today I was in a store which was busy decorating for Christmas! Here in Norway we don't have Thanksgiving, but Halloween was introduced a few years ago. Christmas seems to get here earlier and earlier - but this time I'm not looking forward to it. All our traditions and rituals will be without my husband this year. I dread the very thought of it, and being reminded of it as early as mid-October is torture. ow that I'm reminded of Christmas - I'm reminded of a lot of other things. His birthday, for example, on December 13th. And after Christmas there is New Year's, winter break, spring break and summer vacation (when we always went somewhere together). How will I cope?

I still don't understand why - after doing quite well the past few days - I feel right now like I did several weeks ago when the grief was new. I'm just so worn out. Won't I ever get past this phase?

Melina

[kayc]

I didn't know you were from Norway! I refuse to even think about Christmas until I get past Halloween and Thanksgiving. I have my house decorated with fall leaves...that used to be hard for me to do because it was something George and I always did together. He loved all of the seasons.

[Lindakay]

I guess I overcompensated about Xmas. He hated the birthday getting older and then Xmas without his parents(when he started hating Xmas). He did decorate for me. He knew I was a Xmas baby and loved the season. I was 12/27 and he was 12/17 and his baby sis 12/23 and his mom 12/20 ans my mom was 12/10. So it reminded him of a happier childhood and the loss of our parents. So since he died, I put up 7 trees. Not all big ones of course. I spent the first one with his sister coming up for 3 weeks. What a life saver. I wanted to make the place special for her and I. Then the next one was my best friend coming for a week on my birthday 12/27. She loved the house all done up. May be alone this year but they will all come out.

So change your routine and make new habits.It helps.LindaKay

[Cajie_Laurie]

I haven't even thought about Christmas. The grand kids are talking about Halloween. I've not yet done a holiday without Tommy. Not sure what'll happen. One day at a time....

[Jay Wyatt]

Yesterday I wrote I was feeling better and seeing progress. Today I'm feeling terrible again. I wish these little tidal waves would pass me by. I was optimistic, and now I'm so tired of feeling bad. Life seems meaningless and I just sit here sobbing. It's nearly seven-thirty in the evening. I usually never cry at this time. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's now 9 weeks since I lost my soulmate.

Wow! Melina, you took the words right out of my mouth. Except it's been 7 weeks for me. This has happened to me so much now that I start to prepare for the emotional upset while I'm still having a good day because I know it's coming.

God Bless You

Jay

[nats]

Hello Everyone,

I am at 8 months so I feel all your concerns, but we must take it day by day to much pre thought is not helpful in traveling this journey, once again I can not stress enough the positive memories we all had that we must reflect on during this journey and these times.....I plan to continue as normal, seeking my strentgh in knowing my Ruth would be so sad not to see our special traditions being carried out, it will just be a little differant and I'm going to ensure I have plenty of tissue....and I take things day by day no more...

NATS

[Chrissie]

Melina,

This will also be my first holidays without Tim and I know it is going to be very emotional & difficult. I alredy have plans to spend them with my family. Marty posted some links on Coping with the Holidays and I found them to be very helpful. I even found a couple Memorial Ornaments I'm giving to each set of grandkids to put on their tree. It's hard to not think about Christmas when everywhere you look they are gettng ready for it, so I just decided to start preparing myself a little early.

Chris

[Deb625]

Hi everyone, it is five months today and I sometimes get fleeting glimpses of doing better, and then come the sobs and tears... It is Michael's 46th birthday tomorrow, I don't know how I'll cope - I know I'll light a candle and cry, beyond that who knows. If I'm anything like I have been since Friday night, the answer is I'll cry. I've already decided I'm not doing Halloween - Michael loved dressing up and we carved brilliant pumpkins - there is no pleasure in any of it alone. Christmas, I'm flying to England, New Years will be spent in Malta - hopefully being in foreign places will keep the tears at bay - I doubt it. I am going to ask my family to set a place for Micheal at the Christmas table - even though I won't be there, I want Michael to know he is missed... It all just not fair. Take care, Deb