Loved Ones And Dreams

[BLEU-BERRY]

I posted this in the behaviors in bereavement section also so I am sorry for the repeat.

I was wondering if any of you believe in our dreams, that our loved ones make contact with us through them? Do any of you have experiences?

I have dreams about my dad pretty regularly, and I can easily pick out the ones that are simply just dreams. I can even figure out for myself why I would have the dream and what it meant to me. All of my dreams about my dad consist of him dying. He has cancer and looks very ill in every single one. In one dream, I was at his house taking some of his things to keep and he appeared to me and told me not to give up on him yet, that he wasn’t ready to stop fighting. I knew this was a dream, it was very fragmented, and I knew it represented the internal guilt I feel about not believing he would beat his cancer, or not having enough faith in God and miracles.

However, twice I have had a very different kind of dream. After each, I wake up feeling a sense of peace that I never imagined I could feel after the death of my father. A huge part of my really believes it was him talking to me. In both, he was happy and healthy, just as he had always been.

The first dream happened about a month after he died. I remember standing on his grave, standing where I was when he was lowered into the grave. He was there with me, just talking and bullshitting like we always did. I knew he was dead but I wasn’t afraid, I was just to happy to be with him. Towards the end of the dream, he leaned over his headstone and went on and on about how much he liked it. He told me it was so big, it was “like 40 inches long!”

I didn’t think much about the dream. I woke up feeling so peaceful though. My boyfriend and I laughed at the idea of a headstone being 40 inches long. He didn’t have a headstone yet, but I knew the plan was to get a double headed one to include his wife. My boyfriend and I went to his grave later that day, and when we did, we decided to measure the double headstone next to his. Of course, it was 40 inches long! I also researched more online about those types of stones, and it turns out, one of two standard sizes for those stones is 40 inches. Unbelievable. I know it sounds like useless information, but I am an engineer and my father and I were both numbers people, so it makes sense to me that he would prove that it is real with a number.

The second dream just happened two nights ago. I was out to dinner with two friends I haven’t seen in years. Out of literally nowhere, my dad was there. We gave each other the HUGEST hug and I said, “I miss you so much.” He said, “I miss you too.” He then told me that it was really important that I try to move on with my life now. I told him I would try, and he was gone.

Any opinions? Any similar experiences?

[DebFromLodi]

You are so very, very lucky to remember your dreams. I don't know if it is from all the years of smoking (I have quit smoking for almost 2 years now) but I know I dream. For the life of me I cannot remember them. And I never dream about my mom, or at least that I know of.

My daughter always dreams of my mom. I pray and pray for God to send her to me in a dream that I can remember but it NEVER happens.

[2sweetgirls]

I competely, with all of my being, believe that our loved ones come to us in dreams to communicate.

A few months after my mom passed I had my first dream of her early Easter morning. I never saw her face, just her from behind. She was closing the blinds in a brightly lit room. She always loved bright, light places so this was strange to me. I said "Ma, what are you doing"? Next thing I knew I was on a three way phone converstion with her and dad (he was still alive at the time). He was saying "why did you leave us we miss you so much" and she said "I know but this is my destiny". She sounded at peace and happy. I have no idea why I asked her this question but, I asked "how is it up there in Heaven"? she went silent and the dream ended. I told my dad the next morning and we just cried together. Heartshattering.

I had a few more dreams that were both disturbing and heartwarming but the last one I had was about 1 week or so ago where mom AND dad came together. Neither of them said a word but, the usual twinkle in their eyes of love and the warm hug from mom that I have missed so much felt really good. I woke up to cry and smile all at the same time. I feel like they came to let me know they are together and they love me so much and everything is ok. I wish I could be ok from now on but, I don't even know what "ok" is anymore. I felt ok for that moment.

I definitly think that your dad visited you in your dream. How else would the #40 come up when you didn't know the actual size of the headstone? I think we all know we should try to "move on with our lives" and in many ways we are or, at least, trying the best way we can. I think your dad is trying to help you along. That, to me, is beautiful.

I hope you keep having those wonderful dreams filled with lots of HUGE hugs from your dad. I believe he is right there with you.

Peace to you.

2sweetgirls

[Anthony]

I had a dream about my mother... And it was very clear and concise...

She was living in the house we used to live in-- and I had gone over there for some unknown reason and was really shocked to find her there. I demanded to know what she was doing there-- and if she was alive all this time-- and living there-- how dare she let me think otherwise.

She told me she wasn't coming back with me to the 'new house' and she had a pet bull (not pit-- I mean a male cow-- as a pet) there who snorted at me as if to warn me to stop arguing with her. She ordered me out of that house in no uncertain terms!

My family always used the term 'bullheaded' and my mom and I used to laugh after we had arguments and fights about both of us being so bullheaded we never wanted to admit we were wrong etc...

I really think she communicated to me through this dream-- that she was where she wanted to be and I had better go on with my life and live it-- without her in it physically-- and she was being as bullheaded as usual about it.

The house this dream took place in was the house I grew up in-- and which is still owned by the family-- We moved shortly before mom died into a larger house a few blocks away in the same small town. We moved because the new house, although 125 years old-- had been remodeled by the previous owners to make it handicapped assessable--- master bed/bath and laundry on the first floor, wide doorways, etc. It really is a big old barn of a house in a neighborhood with all sorts of other big old barns of houses... And I wasn't sure I wanted to stay here-- but in that dream she made it perfectly clear I was to stay in this house-- and that is what she wanted.

Ever since that dream I have noticed I now feel more like I am 'living' in this new house instead of just 'existing' in it....

She died in this house-- in the very room I am in right now-- the downstairs bedroom which I turned into a den.... And I don't feel an overwhelming sadness in it anymore.

This dream helped me a lot!

I even decorated it for Christmas-- and I don't know what to think about orbs-- but there is one in the pic of the exterior of the house...

[Butterfly9]

Dear BLEU-BERRY,

So sorry for the loss of your precious Dad. Yes, I do believe our loved ones do visit us in our dreams. I have had dreams from my Dad and it brings be comfort. I believe dreams from our loved ones are special gifts from them. I don't get them as often as I like even though I ask him a lot to come and visit me in my dreams. They visit in their own time.

Sending you hugs, love, comfort and strength.

Butterfly9

[SHeiss]

Bleu-Berry,

I am so very sorry to hear about your dad . A huge hug from me! I have dreams every night of my dad. I dream that we caught the cancer in time to treat it and be successful, I dream that the day he died - he wasn't actually dead and I got to him before he was cremated and somehow not being on the chemo helped him and he was getting better, I dream of just hanging out with him like old times. I don't know how to explain it as some dreams are a little more realistic and when I wake up it breaks my heart when I realize that he is not here and that I had only had a dream. On my days off I just sleep the day away because my dreams are far better than my reality. Anyway, Nice to meet you and again I am sorry for your loss.

Sharla

[Kathy61]

I was in the Military when my father died and I was several states away. I could not be with him when he died and I had so much guilt over this. A few months later I had a dream. In the dream I was in the hospital room with dad. I knew he was dying. He sat up in bed gave me a big hug and said that he loved me. I told him I loved him too. He told me that everything was going to be ok, and it was ok for me to let him go. As you mentioned when I woke up there was so much peace. He let me say good bye and I needed that for closure. Although I missed him and still do, I was able to heal from that point.

With my mom, I was there when she died and I experienced the horrible death of cancer. (I am not sure which is worse, the unexpected death or the lengthy and gut wrenching dying process.) I was pretty much mom's caretaker for the last two months since I am the only daughter. I have three brothers. It was like a reversal of roles. I didn't dream of her for about 6 months. When I did I was a child again, and she was young and beautiful. I could see her but she couldn't come to me, but I could feel her protection. It was like I had to stand on my own now without her. I knew she wouldn't let anything happen to me. I could feel the love from her. She didn't say anything, just gave me a big smile that let me know that I was safe. I think after the last two months of her life I needed a mother again and that is what she came to me as, my loving and protecting mother. Both dreams helped me to heal and move on. I miss both of them every day. There is not a day that I don't think of them, but I can now remember the good times. I can laugh over things they use to do, and smile when I remember them and not cry.

It takes a while to get here, and I still cry from time to time especially this time of year.

I think that is why I came back to this site.

[hello123]

Nobody in my immediate family has dreamt about my dad, but one day i was feeling really low i was away from home and just wanted to die I felt like i couldnt handle it and that night I saw my dad and in my dream he was a spirit he wasnt really there but I could see his face close-up and he had tears in his eyes and I knew he missed us and the next day was really good because I had such a strong image of his face in my head for the whole day