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Feeling "connected"


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Hello all. I've noticed in the last few days that there are posts from those of us who believe that they've received a sign from their loved ones or who feel some kind of connection that others don't feel. Is this a matter of belief in a higher power?

As I think I've said on this forum before, neither Glenn nor I believed in anything after death. Yet, I write my darling man letters every day and somehow feel closer to him for it. I have not, however, received any "signs" or am able to feel any "connection" other than the one I feel in my brain, in my memories.

I don't intend to make this a discussion about religion, but I wonder if those who feel that connection or see those signs, do believe in an afterlife. I just ask this question to clarify, for those of us who don't "believe", whether there is something we're missing that we're not looking for. Personally, I am desperate to see some sign, but I wonder if my lack of belief in an afterlife is the difference.

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I am not a religious person in the conventional sense. I would describe myself as a lapsed catholic. While none of us know what becomes of us after our time in this world is over it is my belief that we each have an everlasting spirit that continues on after death. My take on how that spirit lives on is that it continues to live in the hearts and personalities of the loved ones left behind. When I speak of feeling Robin's presence this is what I mean. I can feel that presence at any place or anytime. I am feeling it right now as she is helping me to put this into words. So that's how it works for me. It will be interesting to hear others' experiences. I don't think it has anything to do with your religious beliefs and I can't say I've had any signs it's just something that's a part of me.

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I do believe in God and am a very spirtual person and I do believe in an afterlife, in that my loved ones reside in heaven and in my heart. I don't think that you have to subscribe to any one religion to feel someone's presence after they have died. For me, it has been an energy that I have felt. Sometimes even my cat sits up from a sound sleep and will go over to Melissa's chair and jump up and begin to purr and Melissa's chair is not one of his usual places to be, and this cat came into my life after Melissa died. Sometimes I will turn the radio on after getting what I call a nudge to do so and the song that is playing is our song.

I believe I feel Melissa's presence because I have worked through the heavy grief and trauma and have moved into acceptance that I needed to let go of her in the physical sense before I could sense her in the spirtual sense.

I think perhaps one just needs to have Faith of some kind and a surrending to the grief. For me my Faith is in God. I don't profess to have the answers, I can only say how it has been for me. I pray that you too reach this place by whatever means and belief system.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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I am a spiritual person and believe in afterlife but I can't say as I've had much in the way of actual "signs" from George. But I DO sense his presence with me at times, a kind of comfort deep inside of me, I feel like I carry him with me. Some of this stuff is kind of hard to understand, let alone try to explain. I don't know that it's anything to do with God Himself, or just the other person's spirit. I hope that makes some sense to you...

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I can feel Lars' love around me all the time, I don't know why, and I don't question it.

Just after his passing I felt a physical presence twice, the first time it was wonderful. The second time I was sleeping and it felt like someone was sitting beside me. I was terrified for what seemed a lifetime..I have a dog and an alarm system, but I felt like someone had got into the house and was in my bedroom. Once I realized that there wasn't any one there to hurt me a feeling of peace came over me.

I know many people would say it was an overactive imagination,maybe it was. I like to believe that it was Lars.

Lainey

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Hello to All,

Here's my thoughts on this topic...I have been a spiritual person in depth since I became sober over 13 years ago, and I have always beleived in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, my faith in God has been found in the Catholic Church as I converted to many years ago...I do have signs, I hear Ruth speak to me , and I feel her presence sometimes more than others, when I was greiving hard in the first few months not so much but now I have come to terms with her "new life" I feel her more often, and she sends me pennies from heaven, I just returned from a vacation with the new lady in my life whom I'm sure God sent to me because while my wife was alive on earth Brenda was visiting her and I heard a voice that told me we would be together after Ruth left....anyway I returned home yesterday and was concerned about the amount of money I spent on the trip, as I was unpacking and moving about the house Ruth's presence told me she was happy I had finally took a vacation and treated myself to a wonderful time and I shouldn't worry as we had not had a vacation for 2 years as she was sick, she told me this then I felt a strong breeze just blow by me, needless to say I broke down and cried as do most of time she is near, and my dogs also feel and know when her "spirit" is here as they act as if she just got home from work...I think we all must find our own comfort zone in the afterlife and our ways of thinking, I can say that my thoughts have been influenced and strengthed more as I'm reading a book titled 90 Minutes In Heaven By Don Piper this is a true story and good reading and will surely get your mind wondering as he tells his story....

I Pray Everyone may feel the presence of there loved ones in some sort of way and find the answers to our questions....

NATS

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I think it likely (as your wording indicates you might) that receiving signs from those departed reflects a difference in how believers and nonbelievers interpret their environment. As an example, my mother-in-law sees pennies, nickels, dimes on the ground and sees them as a message from Tanya (her daughter, my wife), and I see them as lost change on the ground. When her own mother died she said the same thing, and Tanya actually said words to the effect (jokingly) …"for the record, if I die, I won't come back as a penny." Tanya's mom would insist that there are far more on the ground now that she died--I believe the number varies by chance; I notice no difference in the number at all. I knew Tanya better than anyone knew her (including her Mom), and she simply would not have chosen money on the ground as a method of communication.

This difference demonstrates our general belief system disparity. I'll admit to wishing at times that my brain could accept what to me are completely meaningless events, as signs from the departed. Unfortunately, my mind simply does not work that way at all.

My Mother-in-law believes that prayers for those with cancer will be answered, and I believe if you have to ask a 'higher' being for this kind of help, you're not petitioning a benevolent being. It is quite clear that people without water need it, it is quite clear that people suffering from cancer need a cure, quite clear that helpless persons being attacked need help--if a higher power needs a nudge to see this, it would present a very difficult situation to me if I were a believer.

I mention this not to initiate a debate (In my experience, there is no convincing a believer that they are wrong, and the same goes for nonbelievers being convinced that they are wrong. It seems to take a life-jarring event to cause a fundamental shift like this.), but instead to provide a couple of examples as to how I think belief systems affect how we interpret our world, and by connection the potential 'signs' from our loved ones.

I will say that I believe it one of our choices whether or not those we loved remain present and powerful in our lives and hearts. They can inform our lives, decisions, and hearts, and we can remain unified with them in this way. So, I guess that I feel obligated--and by obligation, I mean a debt of the heart that I am compelled and and honored to fulfill, to try to do some of the good things Tanya would be doing to help those around her. This is not unlike to my feelings on prayer; I am glad that people pray and believe, but am disheartened that for so many their effort ends at prayer. As a nonbeliever, I 'preach' that WE must be the answer to prayers--that handing off what we can do ourselves is not the right thing to do, whether you believe in higher beings or not. ~ Steve

As usual, I've gone on far too long, so one final quote I was reminded of: "Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore" ~ Russian Proverb

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I lost my fience' on the 22 of Dec. We both arent religious people at all. We had to rent a preacher for his service due to the fact we never attended a church. Anyway,I do beleive in God and a afterlife to a point. Ive even found myself angry at God for letting this happen. I know thats so wrong. But its how Ive been feeling as of late.

You have mentioned signs, well Ive had some signs. I was about to wake up a few mornings ago, and before I did, I saw him come to me, and he gently bent over and kissed me on the cheek, then just faded away. I woke up, looked around and wanted to go back to sleep in hopes of seeing him again. But no such luck. Then, another sign came along.. It had been snowing and it was very deep, as I looked out our window, I saw in the snow two impressions of hearts linked, right there in the snow. I was shocked, and ran outside to get a better look... it actually was my tire tracks where I had backed up and turned around. But it was really wild to see them look like hearts. A sign, maybe, id like to think so. I think "signs" are all how we see them. I dont know about any religious signs though. But my point is, we arent religious, never have gone to church, and to me, what Ive seen are signs from him. If they arent, well thats ok too, but in my heart, they are, and thats what counts right? Im so sorry for your loss, I know it hurts so bad, im right there with you. Somehow, we will get thru this pain.

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receiving signs from those departed reflects a difference in how believers and nonbelievers interpret their environment.

Just be careful not to put down to your mother-in-law what she interprets as a sign...it is important to her well-being to believe that way.

But it's not all spiritual interpretation, but how we look at things...some see the glass half full, some see it as half empty. I had a BIL that was an insurance agent and he told us how different the accounts of witnesses are to the same event! We all have our differing perspectives and that helps make us the spice of life! :)

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As usual, I've gone on far too long, so one final quote I was reminded of: "Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore" ~ Russian Proverb

Steven, I loved the proverb. :) And, yes, you're right - I guess I do believe that perception is everything. I am quite analytical and "scientific-minded" and always want to know the "why" of things, but when I saw so many people here who believe that they have received signs, I had to ask the question.

I'm also interested in why the brain reacts as it does. A short story... back in the days of the dinosaurs, when I was about 20 (before Glenn), I had that whole "first love" experience. I was devastated when we broke up (little did I know!), but I dreamt about him for about 2 years afterward. It's been a little over 2 months since Glenn died, and I'm upset that I haven't dreamt about him once. I know that there's a small bit of my brain that hasn't accepted what's happened, and because of the circumstances of his death, I am left wondering why it happened at all (an answer I will never have), and I'm thinking that perhaps I haven't dreamt of him for that reason. Maybe when I fully accept what's happened, I will, but it almost feels like a betrayal. I adored that man and I want so desperately to at least see him again in my dreams, but haven't been able to.

This whole journey is so frustrating and confusing and I know that I will likely never find the answers, but I have to keep trying. It'll either cure me or kill me. :(

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kayc, Fortunately, we're both very clear on each other's beliefs, and do not give one another a difficult time. We do tease each other, but that is something we're both comfortable with.

The glass half-full/half-empty analogy is really fitting, as it works with both believers and nonbelievers. My Mom-in-law had a somewhat difficult early life and definitely sees a glass at the halfway mark as almost empty. In her case, I think a belief in an afterlife has much to do with wanting there to be something much better than she's experienced in this one. Also, she's not very proactive in life, so hoping is one way to endure for her. To be sure, I've known people who are extremely proactive believers who do all they can to make this world better--I do not hold that it has much to do with deity beliefs. Your BIL's account reminded me of listening to my MIL's account of a conversation Tanya and I overheard. Her account sounded absolutely nothing like what we both had heard, but she processes things how she preconceives or at times wants them to be, not as they are. We used to joke with her that you could play the 'telephone game' with only her--you could whisper "a yellow car with a driver" in her ear and by the time she processed it, she would report "a fleet of taxis without a driver invaded New York City at noon today, wreaking havoc on all traffic and commerce..." ;o)

Dimcl, Glad you liked the proverb!

I base my decisions/beliefs more on evidence than feelings as well, and am open to being wrong--in this case welcoming with arms wide open to being wrong, but I cannot believe just because I want to, and if there is divine inspiration, divinity has chosen not to visit me. :o

I was only 19 years old when the first dinosaurs appeared, and had a similar experience. A love that I thought I'd never recover from; my one true love--until Tanya came along and made everything prior shrink, shrink, shrink. Like you, how wrong could I have been!? Again, like you I did not dream of Tanya (at least no dreams that I recalled), at all until recently--almost five years post. I can tell you something about it, Dimcl...It's worth the wait. I woke up smiling for the first time in ages.

Another thing that others have described as happening that I've never experienced--waking and thinking my wife was next to me, in another room, in a crowd--nothing. I never have had a moment in which I thought for a second she was still alive.

These experiences dealing with death have been described as an emotional roller coaster, but at times for me, normally extremely even-keeled emotionally, it has been more like an emotional pogo stick.

Hang in there--it does improve. ~ Steve

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