Overwhelmed

[PopPop]

I haven't posted here lately but I need to vent. My life is a mess. In August of 2009 my father succumbed to the ravages of kidney disease after fighting the valiant fight for the last six to eight months of his life. All in all this was a blessing because he was merely a shell of the man whom I loved, respected, and adored and he had no quality of life. On June 23, 2010 my wife, best friend, and soul mate suddenly died and within the last two months my 78 year old mother has been diagnosed with ALS,(Lou Gherig's disease), and she is rapidly declining. It has been said that everything in life happens for a reason if that's the case can someone explain the reason why I have lost and am loosing three of the most important people in my life in 18 months time? Throughout my adult life I have acted resposibly; holding a steady job, providing a safe, financially secure home for my family, and being there for my parents when they needed me. Yet the current chain of events has caused me to question all of this. Lately, I have a very difficult time maintaining focus on anything. It's all I can do to drag myself out of bed and plod through another day. I know there are no easy answers or solutions but I am really frustrated and have no one who really cares to talk things out with. I've also come to the conclusion that most people are just being polite when they ask how you are doing. They are more interested in telling you about their problems than hearing about yours. That's my rant for now. Thanks for listening.

[kayc]

PopPop,

It's no wonder you're having a hard time dragging yourself out of bed, you have a whole lot to grieve for and deal with! That's enough to challenge anyone! You are right, some people would rather talk about themselves than hear your problems, but that doesn't take away from the fact that you need to talk to someone. Do you have any friends that are more caring and patient than that? If not, please come here, you're welcome to and we won't tire of listening and caring, I promise!

I'm just so sorry you've been dealt a triple blow, that's very rough to deal with. You do know, I hope, that it has nothing to do with you as a person, life is just unfair, it deals blows randomly, it has nothing to do with how we live or don't live, it just is. Some people sail through uneventfully...and then there's us. I'm sorry, I know it's not fair! You don't deserve this. And honestly, I don't think God asks us if we can handle it, nor do I think He singles us out for it, it just comes. The Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust...that means ** happens. And we get it. Try not to look too deeply for meaning...just get through the next minute...and the next. It's hard to adjust, but you will get through it, please believe me.

[LarrysGirl]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife and father and for your mothers declining health. Anyone would be struggling with that much loss in such little time. Give yourself credit for managing to get out of bed. Is there other family members or siblings you can talk to? Coming here and sharing your feelings (good or bad)will help. Its when we feel so alone that we can get overwhelmed. I hope you are taking care of yourself, eating well, resting when you can, that is so important. Deborah

[LostmyHoney]

PopPop,

I am so very sorry for all that you are going through, I too have questioned what the possible reasons could be for my lifes events. I have come to the conclusion that Im not ready for the answers, for in order to get them I would have to die, and Im not ready to do that yet. I wish you peace!

Rachel

[sunstreet]

Dear PopPop,

I am so very sorry with all the loss that you have to carry. I too have had to endure a lot of loss in a short period of time. I know that no words will suffice. I know that understanding and answers may never come even though we ache for it. All I can share is that for me, healing occurs when I express my pain versus suffering alone and in silence.

My heart aches for you and I encourage you to keep coming here it helps.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[Dimcl]

I continue to have difficulty with the injustice, PopPop. We all know the value of being a good person and doing what's right, but it would be so easy to throw that all away and do what's easy.

My Dad is ailing and I think I'm trying to rush my healing over the death of my husband in order to prepare myself for my Dad's death. I'm not sure whether that's a good idea or not, but I'm terrified of having to deal with my husband's and father's deaths in a short time-span. On top of that, there's only me to look after my Mom when that happens.

So, as you can see, I'm already scared spitless about the possibility of what you've already experienced, so I can't imagine what you're going through. I guess I can only reiterate (for you and myself) to take it one day at a time.

And, quite frankly, I don't believe that these horrors happen for a reason. They are simply the random vagaries of fate and that's the way I best deal with them. If I believed that they happen for a reason, I'd spend the rest of my life trying to figure out the reason, never come up with an answer and be doubly unhappy.

Please hang in there. I know it's not much help, but it's the best I can do for now.

[Deb625]

Hi PopPop, Just know our thoughts and prayers are with you and take whatever strength we can provide as you go through this - we'll be here. I agree, that there is no rhyme or reason, and it isn't right or fair, sometimes it just is. Try to take care of yourself as much as you can and know we'll be here to listen as you need us. Take care,Deb