My Guilt And Pain Are Unbearable

[HollyD]

My almost one year old dog Mimi was killed by a dog at the dog park yesterday. Oh why did I have to bring her to the big dog area? She was only 12 lbs. There were enough dogs in the small dog area for her have fun. How could I have been so stupid? Now she is gone and I will never see her sweet face, pet her wonderfully soft fur and watch her do her cute deer leaps while running to check things out. I loved her so much and I can't stop crying. I can't get the sight of that dog shaking her like a toy out of my mind. And my 8 year old daughter saw it too. Mimi loved me more than anyone and I let her down in such a horrid way. There was so much blood on my clothes; I can't get the smell of it out of my nose. She died in my arms and I will never forgive myself. The last thing she did before she died was bite me when I went to pick her up. I cannot understand why that dog did that to her. She was so so sweet and died way too young.

[CJ Anderson]

You did not know of the dangers! I too had a small dog killed in such an emvironment. It is iso importamt to forgive your self. Separate out the grie from the guilt!

Dont let her death be a wasted one. You will save a life if the future! Maybe a dog, maybe a human - maybe even your daughter. For you have learned about preditors amd prey. Bless your beloved Mimi for the lesson she gave you. You did not know about the dangers. I never now take my dog to the dog park, I never now let my dogs run free outside my back yard.

I hope you will find it in your heart to give another dog a home in your loving arms. Truely you and your daughter deserve that special love. Did you know that 95,000 dogs are killed in our county each year?

You did not know. You deserved to have that love! You could make such a differience in anothers life. Share the blessing and the gift you were given!

Hugs.

CJ

[HollyD]

I know that I will find it in my heart to adopt another dog someday. I adopted Mimi from the Alachua County Humane Society after hearing about her on a local radio station (every Wednesday KTK features a dog from a local shelter on Wet Nosed Wednesday). My 2 cats came from rescue groups as well. Every time I would bring our other even smaller dog, a Chihuahua (we found him in a parking lot), to a dog park that did not have a small dog area and he would get chased and the big dog owners did not understand my concern about him. Many big dog owners think their dogs are completely incapable of cruelty. I never once in a million years that Mimi would die like this. I wanted her to grow old with me.

Thank you so much for your kind words. Once my heart digs out of this dark pit and my beautiful memories of her replace the vision of her death I know I will be okay.

[kayc]

Holly,

I am so sorry for your immense loss, both you and your daughter. That must have been a horrific sight, one that left you feeling so helpless. I have to wonder how/why someone with a vicious dog would dare bring them to a dog park! The ones I have been to did not have separate places for large and small dogs. Some dogs act different around other dogs than they ever would alone, so perhaps that was the case. Please don't blame yourself, you didn't know, how could you have known? You wouldn't have brought her if you would have had any idea, you were being a caring parent, trying to give her a good time, and the unthinkable happened. I agree, you are a caring person, I would hope you would adopt another dog someday. My dog is 90 lbs. and has never even snapped at another dog or person, but he's kind of clumsy, and I sometimes worry he'll accidentally step on a little one so I have to watch him carefully around littler creatures and elderly, as he's rambunctious and I would hate for him to knock someone frail down. Again, it behooves the owner to ensure their dog does no harm to anyone, and I fault them for not taking better care to ensure the safety of those around their dog.

Perhaps you could erect some kind of a memorial in honor of Mimi? When my little sister lost her little girl (she was almost two), she put a fountain in her back yard, along with an English Garden, in her memory, and I think it brought them comfort to look out and see it.

[rebbyreb99]

Holly,

I just read your story. I can not even begin to tell you how very sorry I am for you. You di not let her down...please, please quit blaming yourself. This is not your fault.

Rebby

[beakerj]

Oh Holly, that's awful, it's like a nightmare. My 2 terriers have been chased down & attacked by other dogs a couple of times, but nothing serious came of it. It's how I found out I was willing to kick another dog in the head(a Staffie terrier,like a small pit bull) to get mine out of its grasp.

What did the owner of the other dog do & say?

You must feel hideous, but along with others here I'd say it's not your fault, you'd never have had her in that side of the park if you knew there was any risk. The mother of my dog, who was staying with me while her owner was on holiday, ran off on a walk & was electrocuted on the railway line 5 years ago. I'd taken her there because I thought it was safer than the place I walked her the day before, where she'd run off onto the road...tragedies happen anywhere, even places we think are safe.

Just massive sympathy to you & your daughter, give yourselves some time to get over the sheer trauma of such a terrible thing.

Big hugs,

Becka

XXX

[kayc]

I just read where someone in a nearby town had this happen to their dog as well and they have been spearheading a "small dog park" in their dog's memory and it's about to open after four years of his efforts. I think it's neat that they tried to affix something positive to this and are trying to prevent future reassurances.

Please let us know how you re doing, our hearts are with you.

[Willies mom]

Please don't blame yourself. I am so sorry for your loss. My little dog Willie just passed this last Friday. While playing fetch, my golden ran Willie into the corner of a wall and tore his liver. It was an accident. I understand your pain and guilt. I am feeling those same emotions as well as anger. Both were too young and had so much life left. Hoping you feel better soon. I know it will be hard for you and just want to let you know I care.

[plasticmary]

You know, the important thing is that you were the kind of person that took her to the dog park. How lucky was she?! If she was anything like my dogs, she loved the dog park and had a great time there. I'm sure she was excited to go there and play with the other dogs. You know ho much they love to meet one another. You were just trying to make her happy and you had no way of knowing something so awful would happen. Most of my dogs are big dogs and I would never think they would hurt another dog but, the bottom line is, they are dogs and they do unexpected things sometimes. How in the world could you ever know that was going to happen? Most likely, the other owner didn't even have a clue his/her dog would do something like that. So how is it possible for you to know? You just expected a fun day at the park. The guilt that comes with death is just terrible. It's such an awful thing that haunts us. This was a terrible accident. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you can find peace soon.

[kayc]

There are, however, vicious dogs whose owners are aware of it and do nothing to protect others. I had such across the street from me, it had attacked kids riding a bicycle, it had attacked my son and my previous dog. And one day I took my dog outside in my back yard to do her business and this dog and others came and attacked her, while I was right there. They will sometimes do in a pack what they wouldn't do alone. I could not stop them. It resulted in a trip to the emergency vet 1 1/2 hours away and they had to do surgery. When I contacted the owner of the offending dogs, they acted like their dog would never do anything like that and denied the former incidences. I told them regardless of what they thought, they'd be getting my vet bill for their insurance company. They had the nerve to tell me I should have had a fence around my dog, even though it was six feet from my back door! I told them they had a fence and a gate and should have used it since it was their dogs that were vicious...my dog was completely trained with voice command and docile.

Some people do not accept responsibility for their pets and should not have their dogs at a dog park where they can hurt other defenseless animals. Most people have a clue whether their dogs could hurt someone else or not, they just choose to be in denial. I know dogs are animals and do not behave like people, but still, they do give clues whether they'd bite or snap. I had a Golden Retriever once who used to let the kids ride him like a pony (he was 120 pounds and they were little) and no matter what, that dog would never snap at anyone. BUT when he got cancer when he was old, it changed his disposition and he bit a neighbor...a neighbor he well knew and liked, and it never should have happened and was completely unpredictable. But we responded by having him put to sleep immediately so it could not happen again. I figure it was the cancer making him crochety and it affected his thinking and tolerance. But the neighbor came onto our gated patio while we were gone to drop off a UPS package and the dog was there. He hadn't thought the dog would respond like that because he'd known him all his life. We were lucky that his leather coat took the brunt of the bite instead of him getting injured.

Socialization is important for dogs, but some have not been properly socialized and should be introduced to it carefully and under supervision, not just turned loose at a dog park. Who knows what went through that dog's mind that day as he attacked that poor defenseless little dog? But I do think the idea of having an area for smaller dogs separate from the bigger ones. I have taught my dog to be careful of our cat because she's little, it's something I've reiterated to him with small dogs too, and he listens to me, but it takes working with them repeatedly for them to get it.