emptyinside Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 Sometimes do you ever feel like you just need one chat with your lost loved one just once to get some advice or direction? I'm at a point where I feel so lost and aimless that just one talk would really do me a world of good. Feel very unmotivated, tired, and unable to enjoy even little pleasures now. Some months I'm more okay and can enjoy the little pleasures in life, and I can get excited about little things like weekend trips or small shopping purchases. These past couple weeks, nope. Waking up is hard. I don't like to face the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat_Lady Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 Dear Emptyinside, I want you to know that you are not alone in how you feel. What you are feeling is quite normal. If you have been to this site before, you will have seen that many of us here struggle with the rollercoaster ride of loneliness and lack of motivation associated with the loss of a loved one. I lost my Mom on January 4, 2011, and cannot count the number of time I have wished for just one more talk or hug. I can say that there is comfort in knowing that others have gone and are going through similar feelings. Keep coming back and we can all support each other as we share this difficult road to rediscovery of our lives without our loved ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 Hi emptyinside, I too feel this way and I agree it is normal to feel like this, I usually just speak out when I am alone and I feel like talking to my mom... I feel also sometimes that she is actally there listening... I also find a picture of her and I try doing the empty chair thing where I put the picture on an empty chair and talk... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 It is perfectly normal, I talk to my son all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 I'm totally with ya Em, so sick of one way chats, I NEED so badly to get a push from my Dad, a bit of encouragement from soneone that I trust fully, that I can believe...... I feel so so weary from it all at the moment, just so sick of this world without Dad. Yep this week I feel like the weight of it all has just quadrupled, I want to run, want to sleep it all away, just want him back, just really don't know how to do this some days. ((hugs)) to you, sorry my post isn't exactly encouraging Ni xox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 I am with you all. I talk to Bill all the time and I have a "journal" on my laptop and make entries to him almost every day....it feels good. We all are used to talking to our loved one and now that they are not here as they once were...we can still do that. It helps me to vent and identify what i am feeling just to write notes to him. No one else can get it the way he did and so I hope that is still a possibility even though I get no response, no hugs, none of what I need from him. There are so many time each and every day when I want to turn to him for comfort, advice, input, feedback, or just share silly things...and listen to him, comfort him, give him feedback and share what he wants to share...the next best thing is writing notes and talking out loud to him and imagining what he says back to me...or listening to the voice within me to tell me what he is saying back to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpony Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 all the time! I was w/ my dh for 30yrs, so I've never made decisions completely on my own & now I have to. also anytime I hear from my kids on the latest in their lives(theyre all grown & moved) my 1st reaction is to yell out to my dh so I can share the news. I still do it though. one of my friends told me its ok to talk to yourself as long as you don't answer back, well I always answer back exactly what I know he would say, otherwise I would go completely crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loulou Posted April 26, 2011 Report Share Posted April 26, 2011 I answer myself too!I'm sorry for everyones pain.I also feel this way.Miss talking to him so much.I can't believe there was a time my phone rung off the hook,so much so I wouldnt bother answering sometimes!I knew I could call him back in a few minutes...What I wouldn't give for just one more chance.I have come across a local "medium".Hopefully it will be better then the first medium readingI had.I'm not expecting much,but wouldnt be nice to KNOW they can hear us?I know most people here believe,but I guess I still doubt.If I knew he was around in some way,maybe I could heal a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptyinside Posted April 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2011 Ni, You're always encouraging . Yeah, it's the one-sided part that is so frustrating. It makes me so tired. I think of it this way: imagine if your alive relative/friend/husband/wife never responds to you. You're always the one having to initiate chats. It'd be really annoying, right? Same thing when the person's dead. Only more annoying probably because you can't even see the person, so you've got nothing. mfh, I'm so glad that works for you. I got that advice many times here, but for some reason it never really works for me. I try writing, but I always give up after a couple entries because I don't really feel like he's listening. But I suppose it's my fault for being so defeatist. Maybe I just have to keep trying until it sticks. That must be so hard, pinkpony, especially when you have good news about your kids. Every dad wants to hear that, I think. I should probably try that answer-back method. loulou, I'm skeptical, but sometimes I get really desperate for a response that I think about mediums, even though I'm aware of their tricks. Grief makes you do things you'd never thought you'd do. Let us know how it goes. I hope you find a good one and it makes you feel a tiny bit better in the very least. I hate that we have to pay money. I'd love to find someone who's truly gifted and does it for free, but that's probably fantasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaRosa Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 I can relate to you all so much! I would give just about anything to be able to talk to my mom. There are some days where the pain is just excruciating. I started a journal and was writing to her frequently, but I haven't picked it up in a while. I got frustrated with the fact that I was writing letters that she would never read and I would never get a response from her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chai Posted May 3, 2011 Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 Em... (((((Hugs))))). I feel the same. Just one talk would help so much. I haven't done the picture-on-a-chair thing in a while. Or even written a letter. I should. I think it'll help. I'm sorry I have nothing helpful to say. Tonight just...I started thinking about him, and missing him. So I have nothing to help, tonight. take care, Chai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptyinside Posted May 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 Just posting is helping. I just wish I could get ONE sentence. "I'm actually doing great here!" "It's actually way cooler than earth!" "I'm chilling out here!" ANYTHING to tell me he's all right or a line saying what he'd like me to do. A small piece of advice. The silence kills me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 3, 2011 Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 I agree...the silence is deafening. Just a clear sign or anything to let us know that our loved one is out there and ok. It is now 13 months and frankly that silence gets harder for me. It seems more real as I look back and see how much of a fog I have lived in during the first year and even the final weeks of his life. Like a lost year but a lost year in a ton of pain. Now year 2 feels more real and I am focusing more on MY life as well as my loss. Chai, just posting helps for sure. Just knowing people hear us helps. Peace, mfh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaRosa Posted May 3, 2011 Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 I hate the silence. I would feel so much better with just some kind of a sign that my mom is OK now and happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niamh Posted May 3, 2011 Report Share Posted May 3, 2011 YES, YES, YES, to just know they are really there, waiting for us, still able to see us and be with us would be so good. The not knowing for sure I struggle with so much as much as I try to believe, as much as I think this "life" can't all be for nothing, there's always some level of doubt because I don't sense my Dad around, I never feel a brush/tip against me or a sense of comfort and love that would be him. All I hope is that someday we will experience something to give us that comfort ((hugs)) to you all ! Ni xox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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