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Hi all !!

It’s been awhile since I have been in here and I have been catching up on some of the posts in here. I am sad to see some of you have had more problems but I am happy to see some good things as well.

As for me, some of you may remember I am just a little headstrong about how I was going to deal with this….LOL.

The “I am going to get through this” turned out to be a very humbling experience for me

I have now found my way back and have been moving forward with my life. I have found the one thing I needed most to survive what we are all going through. (For me, I know we all travel different roads)

At first I thought I was being selfish trying to focus on getting this back.

I slowly realized over time I was not being selfish and it was not only okay but needed or I could keep on going down into the dark place that I was in.

I found me. A big part of me disappeared a little over four months ago and I didn’t realize how much of me was just gone.

This does not mean I forget, I never will. This does not mean I have moved on. I am moving forward with my life. I was given the time to do this. I was given time by losing my job and being able to spend three months with Ruth before she died. I was given several months to cope and deal with this before I finally got a job about a month ago. Which is going great !

I am now able to talk to single women without feeling guilty. I also finally bought into what Ruth did not want me to do with the rest of my life.

I won’t include the two drunken women that came into work and did not want to leave unless I would go with them to have beers in their car. I told them I only had one liver. Yes, they were that drunk.

All of this does not mean I am not leaving this group. I am just not around as much. I really do appreciate all of the support that goes on in here.

This is what worked for me. I really hope that all of you find or have found what works for you.

Take care,

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Hi Brian,

It is nice to hear from you again. It is great that you have found a job and doing well. I have had a plan from the start, but God told me I had to get my health in order before I can start what I want to do for the rest of my life. Like you I have found a lot of different things to bring me back to life in what is only 5 months after Pauline passes. The highlight was when they woke me up in recovery on July 25, ( Pauline's 5 month anniversary ), I saw Pauline's beautiful face Healthy and Happy. That was a gift from God. After that I have been full of so much energy and life again, that I haven't had for months. Now I am just waiting for the DR to give me the OK so I can start taking my classes to become a nurse so I can help as many people as I can.

I come here to help as many of the people on here that I can reach out to. I have made so many good friends on this place that has lifted me up when I needed it so much, I feel it is only right to be here for them and all the new members that have came here after me.

God Bless you Brian, may he bring you the best of health and happiness for the rest of your life.

Dwayne

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Brian,

It's good to hear from you, please don't be a stranger! And no beers with drunken women either. :)

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Brian, I went for a job interview yesterday, it went very well but it won't result in a job as I'm "overqualified" (in other words they can't afford me. :) I can't take a job for $10-$12/hour because of the cost of my commute and house payment, besides I have 42 years experience doing everything in offices (Office Mgt. and Bkpg.), I feel that's worth something, even if I take a drop in pay, that's fine, but I have to be able to make ends meet somehow. I'm willing to work six days a week and combine jobs if I have to. But first things first, I need to get my arm well, and if that means surgery and starting over, then so be it, I'll do what I have to do and go from there.

It's good to hear from you, I enjoy your posts. :)

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Brian,

Great news, both our Ruth's must be pleased with big smiles on there beautiful angel faces, I also am moving forward as well

sometimes at a pace I would have never imagined 18 months ago, I must admit that God, Ruth and Brenda have been my driving force, I feel so blessed that God brought Brenda and I together...this bond is so different and the closeness is remarkable, Brenda just passed the 2 year mark on her husband passing and the day of the anniversary I felt her grief as well even not being with her as she decided to spend the evening alone, we did speak on the phone which was comforting...I'm glad you are on such a positive path, we all still have many things to do before we are called home so we really need to enjoy the short time left...keep moving and may God and your angel Ruth be your guide...

NATS

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