Helpful Quotes

[Dwaynecg]

Dead Mary,

That was a very good U-tube song. I myself find them very comforting as well. They just seem to touch your soul. I have been so blessed this summer in so many ways. I could have very easily wallowed in self pity, but that would not have accomplished anything. I pray for you every day for God to bring you peace upon your soul. I know how much you miss Bill. Pauline and I were and are the same way you and Bill was and still. One soul, One heart, never One without the Other. It is such a huge loss when you are connected as one. Very few people find there soul mate, best friend, your true life partner, like we both did. We never had enough time with them. But rest assure, that God is using Bill to help guide you through your new life we all have, now. I know it is hard for you to see now, but let me be your example to lead the way, for God and Christ my Savior, has lead me to such great peace I now have.

I wish you well my friend. Anytime you feel the need to talk you know I and here for you, just a call away.

I like a lot of the quotes from Rose Kennedy.

God Bless you Mary

Love Dwayne

Rose Kennedy, once said: "Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't people feel free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them"

[mfh]

Neat piece:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-grief/201109/offering-comfort-those-just-beginning-the-journey-grief-3

[ksbeachbum]

Beautiful and wonderful article Mary. Thanks for sharing it with us. I wish I had the opportunity to do something like that to open up my existance. I haven't had many feelings or visions of my spouse's presence and it saddens me. Is it because I am not open to that concept? I don't think I am but why am I not feeling his presence? My husband was a very outgoing individual with a very big belly laugh and for the life of me I can't seem to see or hear that again and so wanting too.

Hugs

Becky

[mfh]

Dwayne

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, Bill and I had a very special relationship. So many of us here did and that is why we are all here....seeking understanding from those who know.

Becky, I do believe our loved ones are present to us. I also believe it is a rare person who sees them. I wish I could make that happen every day. I do think that feeling their presence is easier if we are quiet and as calm as we can be. Everyone is different and because we do not see them does not mean they are not here with us 24/7. I do believe we have to have an open mind and belief that it can happen. I think that is a big part of it. I do believe we will see our husbands again.

Peace

Mary mfh

[Earl C]

Count me in on that, even though I haven't yet experienced Wanda coming back to communicate with me in any sense, not even in a dream. I do, however, believe that I have had subtle messages from her, perhaps revelations through the night as I slept, because I have wondered about, maybe even dwelled on, something one day, the next day I have the answer. And, when I was so sick before Wanda got sick, I know I couldn't have gotten so much better without her help. When I went to the doctor for a blood check and they told me all my counts were back in the normal range, I just knew God had intervened, and my Angel was helping me. I do hope and pray that at one time she will tell me how I'm doing and what I'm supposed to do without her, even help me to get through this agony. I truly believe she's watching over me and cheering me on, and I hope she knows how very much I miss her every day. This past week I've made 4 of her 'famous' German Chocolate cakes to put in the freezer for the holidays. We usually tried to have 7 or 8, so I've a ways to go, and I believe she's helping me, even though I'm not as good at most of the chores as she was. Anyway, I think we all can be thankful to God that we are going through this and sparing our loved one from this pain, because that has worked out to be the plan. Love to all, and I hope and pray that each of you will be better today than yesterday. Earl

[Dwaynecg]

Dear Earl,

You are still very early in your grief. One could say the same for me. It will only be 7 months on the 25 of this month that, God called Pauline into his Kingdom. She was ready and at peace with it because of our deep Christian faith.

Right now just let the emotions come and go as they do. You are doing fine. When you are ready you will be shone the way to your path that has meaning to you. Weather it is helping out a church or other people in need or it could be something completely different than anything you have ever though about doing in this life time. For me that is helping as many people as I can, weather it is my nursing or helping other people in grief, whatever it is I am there to help.

Today I went to church, and we had a big picnic after the service. I met a man who had lost his wife a little over 2 years ago. I talked with him for about an hour and told him where I am at today, and he was amazed at my positive attitude about life, and the way I control the grief, How thanks to God and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That I have this roaring fire inside me that nothing will ever put out again. At he end he was crying and gave me a big huge and said no one had touched his heart and soul the way I had done today, and thank me for taking the time to lift him up into a more positive frame of mind, body, and spirit. It just gave me more fire to help others in my life. No matter how big or small, you can turn it around when the time is right. You will know and feel the hand of God and Wanda around you all the time, just like I know Pauline is her beside me right now.

God Bless, May the Lord, bring peace into your heart and soul

Dwayne

The Best and Most Beautiful Things in Live, can not be Seen or even Touched. They Must be Felt with the HEART!!!!! Helen Keller

[mfh]

It is late on Sunday evening and I just returned from our local American Players Theater. We saw The Cure at Troy.It is a very intense play that brought me to tears. So well acted that it reminded me how lucky I am to live where I live...in the middle of all these artists. In the play based on Sophocles, Philoctetes addresses the cave on an island that was his home for ten years, Heaney (author) transforms this:

Philoctetes says as he prepares to leave the island: "I'll never get over Lemnos; this island's going to be the keel under me and the ballast inside me."

That quote stayed with me. It feels to me that the loved ones we lost (in my case, Bill) are like the keel "under me and the ballast inside me." Insufficiently ballasted boats will tend to tip, or heel, or even capsize in excessively in high winds. When sailing vessels carried cargo, it was at times necessary to sail to a port with no cargo. In order to do this ballast would be loaded to keep the vessel upright. The keel runs in the middle of the ship, from the bow to the stern, and serves as the foundation or spine of the structure, providing the major source of structural strength of the hull. The keel converts sideways forces to forward movement. I love the analogy. Bill is my keel and ballast…helping to keep me from capsizing in the waves and tsunamis that hit and keeping me moving forward.

[Dwaynecg]

Dear Mary,

I love that you were able to, go to your local theater and come out with so much wisdom that one of the quotes touched you in such a way, that you could find meaning in that quote to relate to your own life, and bet that many who reads this will, understand and see the connection as it relates to their life.

Yes I to believe that the ones we love so deeply is still inside us to help, as you say go through the storms without turning upside down and sinking into the darkness of the bottom of the ocean, as we know as deep depression, and despair. So many are sinking even today. That is why I think that this thread you started, helps out so many people on here every day. Because they can read one of your quotes and relate to them, and in turn you help them keep on an even keel. Thank you for doing that.

God Bless

Dwayne

[mfh]

Hi Dwayne

That play was super intense. The acting was so incredible it brought tears to my eyes. It was loaded with quotes but that one really stuck. Glad you liked it.

I am glad to hear that Harry is a fighting machine...he takes on so much.

Another week...last week was challenging as it was my deadline week for my publication and then software issues hit when someone submitted a bad graphic. Took me 6 hours to unravel it and figure out what caused the problems. I then had a dream that someone was robbing Bill and me at gun point and shot Bill.....I woke up screaming and crying for help. I figure the robber was Alzheimer disease (he was masked, mean, determined) robbing Bill (and me) of life. Bill was, in the dream, dying slowly which is what he did.

All in all, I welcome a new week to start over.

Take care of you.

Mary

[mfh]

From Transcending Loss on Facebook

Grief can very much feel like you are a lone ship being battered about in a fierce storm. Holding true one minute, the next being thrown around mercilessly by the encroaching swell. Just when you think you'll never survive, just when you decide to let go, to give in, to give up, the storm starts to ease and releases its grip on your passage.

Know that tides turn, storms pass, and a degree of equilibrium returns to ships that sail through these waters. You are strong enough to weather the storms that blow in off the sea, and as you passage through life, graceful enough to accept that trust as being yours.

[nats]

Very fitting considering my recent encounter....

NATS

Apparently, the messages that come from beyond

can be swift and delicate

and if we are not open and receptive

they will fly by unseen and unheard,

and will fall to earth,

we know not where.

If we can catch them in their flight,

we will find that peace descends upon us

and we will feel the breeze of an angel's wing

as it gently reaches out and touches us.

-- Linda Pendleton

[mfh]

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

Aristotle

[mfh]

The renowned and respected Buddhist nun Pema Chodron talks about the importance of 'leaning into the sharp places' in life.

Admittedly, this is very challenging and yet it is essential for processing pain. Try turning towards your pain, rather than away from it.

Do it in smaller 'doses' if the pain gets overwhelming.

This pain has a purpose because as you sit with it, as you face it, you can watch it ebb and flow.

You can watch it shift and change.

The family of grievers here are supporting you and each other on this profoud walk.

From Facebook Transcending Loss

[nats]

Here is a poem by Ruth Ann Mahaffey (Author) I stumbled across her web site and she does some very

touching work, you can Google for more she prefers not to have URL linked...Ironic her name is Ruth....

better grab a box of tissues...

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...

but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.

Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.

Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,

God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.

As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.

I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.

There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.

And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.

God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years

because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.

Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.

But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.

I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;

but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...

that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,

then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,

knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,

just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;

I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,

remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)

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