mik Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 I got a text message tonight...at 10:37 the love of my life died. His other partner sent me the text. It is very odd, I was sitting in my living roon and the weirest feeling came upon me...the lights blinked and I got the text message. I felt like I knew before I even got the message....I'm lost, I'm numb, I knew it was coming and still wasent ready. What will I do? what can I do...I want to wipe it out of my head so I can sleep and give my mind a break before I have to face it again in the morning..what will I do without him in my life? Oh God...why..why??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Dear mik, Did you read that text lasts night or not? It could be and probably is that she is going through the same feelings that you are. How do I go on without him in my life? I am lost, feel numb, I have trouble concentrating, like reading a book or just watching your favorite TV show. The things are so common for all of us in the couple months right after the loss of our loved one. Maybe, she was reaching out to you for help, with her grief. You will only know once you read the text. No matter what it says, feel free to come back and talk about it. There is a lot of great people one here who can help you to understand, work though whatever you are feeling at the time. I know this from experience. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 MIK, OMG, I sent you a message before I read this post. I am so sorry! It's up to you whether or not you choose to respond to the text, but I would give it time, right now you're in shock and it's hard enough just processing that he's gone. My only advice is be extra kind and gentle with yourself...no recriminations, have faith in your love and know that what you had was real and he knew it or you wouldn't have been in his life. The other person's grief is hers, right now it's going to take all you can muster just to get through what YOU are going through. Please come here and post whenever you want, we're listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mik Posted December 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Dear mik ~ We know that while your beloved's pain has ended, yours has only just begun. We won't let you walk this path alone, as we are walking right beside you. Please know that you are being held in gentle thought and prayer . . . ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted December 7, 2011 Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Dear mik. I agree that this is the time for you to just love yourself, listen to your own voice and follow what your gut and heart tell you to do or say. Mostly just be gentle and patient with yourself. We here have all been through and are going through the pain of loss and will embrace you as you do this journey. Journal, cry, sleep, and get some nourishment...and come here as you wish. We are here for you. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted December 8, 2011 Report Share Posted December 8, 2011 So sorry to hear of your loss, please cont to come here often, it does really help on this hard journey...Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mik Posted December 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 MIK, OMG, I sent you a message before I read this post. I am so sorry! It's up to you whether or not you choose to respond to the text, but I would give it time, right now you're in shock and it's hard enough just processing that he's gone. My only advice is be extra kind and gentle with yourself...no recriminations, have faith in your love and know that what you had was real and he knew it or you wouldn't have been in his life. The other person's grief is hers, right now it's going to take all you can muster just to get through what YOU are going through. Please come here and post whenever you want, we're listening. I did respond and tried to make peace, she just cut me down with her horrible words...I lost it myself and sent her a horrible email as well. tomorrow it will be a week and I am not communicating with her. I know what she is going through is probably much worse since she has to deal with all his personal items, business, and the reminders of him daily. I am here away from all of that...but I have put my reminders..pics, gift, books away until I can better deal with them. I expect no more communication from her and I won't initiate any as well. Just another piece of my life over..the only thing I wish I could find out is if he was creamated or buried? If he was buried at some point I would like to visit with him..but then I do that now..I feel his presence and spirt guiding me at times..either that or I have lost my mind and I am imagining this scenerio...He was agnostic..I believe in a higher power, so I do count the days when I will see him again and hope that God understands that he is a good man even if he did not believe in him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted December 13, 2011 Report Share Posted December 13, 2011 Dear MIK, We all feel the pain you are going through right now. We have all been right where you are at in this moment in time, different people of course, but all the same feelings, emotions, not know what to do next. Like our whole world, has spun off it's axe's, and is just tumbling through space, going every which way. So we just want to jump in bed, try to sleep, and maybe, just maybe, this is just a dream. When we wake up we feel and see that it was no dream, that this is our new reality. For now cry whenever the giant waves of grief hit, for as long as it washes over you. You will feel just a tiny bit better. I made it though that giant wave. You no more think that and here it comes again time after time, until, this huge storm starts to pass and the waters calm a bit, and the wave come, but not as big, not as long. Now is the time to take care of you, and you alone, eat good healthy foods, try to take a short walk or some form of exercise, get as much rest as you can. The next storm is just waiting to hit, we do not know when, but it will come, it always does. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 Mik, Perhaps you could google his name and maybe the name of the newspaper in his local area and find out what had been planned? If it gives the name of a burial or cremation place, you could contact them to find out where he was laid to rest. Some newspapers also have on-line memorials, I had one started for George. I agree that it is probably best that you let Cindy go her way and you go yours...you tried to reach out and it was rebuffed so that's what you have to go with. You may wish you hadn't retaliated in kind with her, but it's understandable given all you're going through the the heated emotions, so letting it blow over is probably best. The relationship was, after all, more about him than her anyway. You're in my thoughts as you make your way through your grief journey...a journey we've all begun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mik Posted December 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 Thank you> I tried every newspaper in the area and some not in the area. I doubt very much she even wrote an obituary or released it to the papers. She didn't want anyone to know. There is something wrong with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 15, 2011 Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 I don't know how big the city is, but you could call the mortuaries and crematories to see if they know anything. There has to be a way to find out his final resting place. What about his family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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