I Miss My Mother

[Bishop]

I lost my mother on April 6. My father and I are not close. My mom is pretty much the only family I've got. I miss her very much and still cry almost everyday. All her stuff are still the same way when she left. Her cup is still on the table, her slippers by her bed, her handbag still at the same place where she had put it... I feel like everyday I'm waiting for her to come home, to get back into her old life, and when she does, she will need the stuff she left behind. Although I know I'll never see her again, I just keep waiting, day after day. She loved fruits, I don't, but I stuffed the refrigerator with lot of fruits. Once, I had a dream, in my dream she was still around. It was so real the moment when I woke up, I completely forgot she was gone. Only after things settled in, I realized what's real and what's not. I always hope that when I woke up, she would be working in the kitchen or something. I like listening to songs very much, can't leave home w/o my MP3. And I like video games a lot. I haven't done either of those since she's gone.

I really miss her. A large part of me die with my mother.

[Sally]

Bishop:

I am so sorry you are going through so much pain. I lost my mother several years ago, which is when I found this forum at a time I was so, so sad I could hardly breathe. I want you to know that your mother will always be with you. My mother promised me before she died from cancer that she would never leave me. And she hasn't. It is hard to explain, but it is true. As time goes by, you will begin to notice many things that will encourage you, things that you know will be from your mother. Just pay attention. In the meantime, I can tell that your mother loved you very, very much by your message. I am a mother too who would want my children to go on and live a happy, full life. I am sure that is what she wants you to do too. Allow yourself to be sad. It's okay. But each day do one thing for yourself that will make you smile, no matter how little it is. And your mother will be smiling with you. God bless you, and I pray the peace of God fills your heart.

Sally

[DebFromLodi]

My mom died on 2/2/08 at 11:34 am. I have been so lost without her. Yesterday a strange thing happened. I was sitting and thinking about nothing, when all of a sudden, something went through my head. I heard "I sure love you." it was only a thought in my head, it was not in her voice but it was definately my mom. I could hear her saying that years ago. She would look at me with love in her eyes and a smile on her face, then softly say "I sure love you." I know it was her, I just know it.

I just wanted to share this with all of you. You have been here for me all these years since I lost her. Thanks.

[MartyT]

Beautiful, Deb ~ thanks so much for sharing that priceless moment with all of us ♥

[Bishop]

My mother died of cancer as well. I know she would be gone eventually, but never expected it to be so sudden. Though my mom loves me very much, she's never promised that she wouldn't leave me. She never had a chance to say goodbye and neither did I. I wish I could have signs from her that she's still around, but i don't seem to find any. Sometimes I feel like an orphan.

[DebFromLodi]

My daughter is so lucky. She has dreams about my mom (her grandma) where she knows in the dream that my mom is dead and is talking to her and asking her questions. I have not dreamed of her at all, at least not that i can remember. One dream my daughter had was she was talking to my mom and i was there sitting on the floor in front of her. My daughter turned and walked toward the hallway and she thought to herself "wait, grandma is dead" then my mom said to her "I love you Desiree" and she answered "I love you too, Grandma."

I pray and pray, but no dreams come to me.

[Susan Y]

Deb, you may not have had a dream but what a wonderful message you received from her saying she loved you. That in itself is as good as any dream. To Bishop, bless you! We all know that lost and painful feelings you have right now. Any time myself or siblings were hurting it made my Mom so upset. No parent wants the child to be in any kind of pain. Like someone else said in an earlier post, allow yourself to be sad but try and make yourself happy when you can. You will start to feel better. You will still hurt, trust me it grips you at the oddest time. Take care.

[leftturn61]

I lost my mom on April 13,2012. She died of congestive heart failure. I was her 24/7 caregiver at home with the help of hospice. Mom and I were best friends. I miss her so much that it takes my breath away and I know my heart is totally broken.

My father died in 1981.

My brother died in 2004 at the age of 52 of lung cancer. I was his caregiver with hospice.

There is not much left of my heart. The only reason I am functioning is for my 2 handsome sons.

Bishop, I say all this because I feel as you do. It is so difficult to function most days. I pray that you find comfort in your grief.