My Troubled Grief

[ANC1117]

As I have mentioned in previous postings, I have a very active part in a family business. Lately my emotions and grief leaves me less than the productive person the company needs me to be. On days when I feel like calling in sick, and unable to, I work at what seems to be reverse. The customers I work for know of my wife's passing and probably understand my condition. I most likely am my own hardest critic. When asked what is wrong, I just say I am having an off day. It seems as if I am ashamed to use Celene's death as some sort of excuse. I feel that Celene would not want me to use her as a reason to be anything less than the man she knew. After I have these days/moments, I feel even worse for not handling it better; getting a grip of the situation. It troubles me, knowing so many still depend on me to function in both my personal and business life.

Anthony

[janesangel]

Anthony I feel that you handling it the best that you can.

You are reaching out to others, in your way, for support and also offering support for others.

I know from experience there are some unhealthy ways to deal with grief, but reaching out to others is far from unhealthy. I actually had only one friend say they don't know what to do to help me in my grief.

Now I am finding ways to let them know how they can help. No matter what they do for me I let them know I love and appreciate them.

Reaching out and asking for help to grieve in a healthy manner is a new lesson for me.

I think Celene would want you to be happy.

Thank you for reaching out to support me.

Jane

[kayc]

Anthony, I don't think you'd be using Celine to have an off day, but I know it is the loss that IS the reason you have them. It is okay to admit that to others, most understand and care, they just sometimes don't know how to express it.

Jane, I am glad you are letting them know tangible ways they can help. It is also good that you express love and appreciate for them and their efforts.

[Lina]

I think it is normal to have days where you just don't function...I truly think it is part of the grieving process. I know I have days where I feel like I have just shut off...I feel numb, brain dead and useless. I have other days where I can't seem to stop crying...and there are days where I seem ok....grieving is not something you are just done with one day...it is a process. *hugs*

[enna]

Anthony,

I so agree with those who have posted. It is 'normal' to have days that just don't seem right. I feel that we will never be 'over' our grief. We will just learn how to incorporate it into our lives. I think we are human and handle things the only way we know how. And that is all right. Peace, Anne