Five Years Today

[Lainey]

Five years ago today my husband died of bladder cancer. Someone sent me the link to this group and after reading it a few times i decided to join . It was so easy to pour out my feelings to people I never met and to read responses from them. I got to know most of the regulars and felt like I knew them as friends... which I desperately needed at the time

Five years ago my life was shattered. I never thought it would get better. The first year was a complete blur. The second year all I knew was the pain of losing my husband, m best friend, my soul mate. The beginning of the third year found me wanting to have a companion to go out to dinner, a movie... all the things you lose when you lose your partner. By the fourth year I saw the sun again, my heart was lighter and I did find someone to fill the loneliness. Then he told me he loved me and i realized that I had fallen in love with him. We now are so happy together,

Five years ago, I would never have believed that I could be this happy again. For some of you, you are content to live with the memories and that's wonderful. I chose to make new ones. I really don't know why I'm posting this, maybe just to let the ones that want to move forward with other partners, that it is possible ... A corner of my heart will always be Lars'

[annew]

Thank you, Lainey, it is so good to hear of your healing and moving on.

AnneW

[enna]

How wonderful, Lainey. And thank you for sharing your good news here.

I am sure that it helps all of us to know that happiness and love can be found after the loss of our soul mates if it is what someone wants.

Congratulations and may you be happy ~ we all deserve to be happy.

Of course, you will always have that special place in your heart for Lars.

Anne

[MartyT]

Lainey, my dear, we are so happy for you ~ and so grateful to you for taking the time to share your wonderful news with all of us. We wish you and your new love the very best of everything.

[kayc]

I'm so glad for you!

[melina]

Hi Elaine,

It's great to hear from you! I remember you mentioning someone in your life earlier. I'm so glad you've found happiness and love again.

I know that many of us, including me, would like to find that kind of love and happiness again. It's not always a matter of making a conscious decision to merely live with our memories,

it's a matter of not be able to find someone who we think could measure up to the people we've lost. It's also not that easy to find someone at all - especially later in life.

It's wonderful that you've been able to find someone important in your life and make a new start. I hope that can happen for many of us as well.

Melina

[Lainey]

Thank you for your good wishes... i truly hope that others will be able to find happiness again if that's what they want.

Melina, we will never find a person that will measure up to our spouses, but we can find a person who has qualities that are just as good as what our spouses had. It would not be fair to compare. Tom has a soft heart, he's kind and thoughtful, all of what Lars was. Tom has a wonderful sense of humor where Lars was very serious. Tom loves to travel where Lars never enjoyed it They both have the same good qualities that I wanted, but my life has changed, as all our lives have and this time I need the laughter, and the fun times we have travelling and the sense of being with someone who cares about me as much as I care about him.

I know it isn't easy finding someone new after so many years... we have no idea how to go about it. I guess I believe that things happen for a reason and Tom and I met by chance for a reason.