ADH Posted December 17, 2014 Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 I feel guility but I cannot stand the thought of planning my husband's Jewish tradition of a grave dedication. I loved my husband and although he was Jewish, he did not practice at all. His family does, but he does not. I received a call from my brother-in-law who is a Rabbi. He and his wife are amazing. They live out of state. He and his other brother (that lives here) want to plan a dedication weekend (to honor my husband) in July of next year. As soon as the request was made, I had a complete meltdown and said that I could not plan to do that next year. I explained how I had given up my life to take care of my husband when he was ill and how I have been dealing with the fallout ever since he passed. I did not say anything rude at all, I just said that I cannot take anymore committments and that I have to reboot my life in 2015. I feel like a jerk. Please note that my stepchildren hate me. My husband's brother wants me to plan everything with him and simply invite the children (they are middle aged by the way). I do not even know that I will be living in Chicago at that time. I do not keep in touch with my husband's friends, so I do not understand how planning a party to honor him seven months from now makes sense. I stated that I wanted to just do my own private dedication and let everyone else do what they wanted. I am so emotionally fragile. I get overwhelmed going to the grocery store. Am I being a jerk? I have to seek employment, likely put our house on the market, move and try to get well. If the dedication was next month, I could possibly pull it off but next July? How can I get a job, move, make a fresh start, break my ties in Chicago and plan a party with people I do not talk to in July of next year? Am I being unreasonable? thank you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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