jamiesam Posted December 23, 2014 Report Share Posted December 23, 2014 This will be long so please bare with me. I am 27 years old now. When I was 14 I watched my mother die of cancer. Last year in august my uncle died of liver failure. The only living family member I have left is my father amd he is dying of copd. Has not passed yet but will be soon. I do have a 4 year old daughter but obviously I cannot share my feelings with her. I truly am all alone on this and its heart breaking. I've never had any grandparents or siblings and with hpw young I am no one aroumd me understands. I've had friends I've been close to since grade school say very hurtful things about me and I feel like I have no one. In march of this year my dad went into upper respitory failure. While on life support he had a heart attack and a stroke. I had no choice but to admit him into a nursing home because he could not do things on hos own anymore. The father I used to have and the father I have now are two different people. In july of this year he had another stroke which just made things worse. And ever since then he is constantly in and out of the hospital. I am driving back and forth constantly to see him and be there for him but to see him deteoriating is just awful. To make it worse he is in a complete state of denial about what's happening he is refusing hospice. So its all on me. I feel like I can't do this much longer. I'm so stressed out with anxiety and just plain exhausted. My own fiance dosent even understand he still has both his parents. I do not wakt to go to work anymore I do but I don't want to. Things that never were an issue before seem like a chore like keeping up with my house. I'm just done. I really need to speak to someone who understands because no one arounde does. I don't know how people do this. How do I keep going when I just want to fall apart. I've always tried to consider myself a strong person but I feel weaker than ever. I love my dad and this has been on going for months now I do not know when it will end. I do believe I am in a stage of grief. Its getting harder to go see him he is also very very demanding. He still knows who I am I can communicate with him and as much as I truly don't want to lose him I can't imagine another 6 months of this either. Please someone just talk to me tell me I'm not completely losing my mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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