kayc Posted March 18, 2015 Report Share Posted March 18, 2015 We're praying, QMary, and I hope they find just the right person to help out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted March 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 18, 2015 Mary, I do hope your family gets some help and getting it for the nights is so wise. If I had more sleep when Bill needed much care, I know I would have come out of the caregiving days feeling less exhausted and drained. One can only run on 2-4 hours sleep a night for so long. I like your definition of "healing" and agree, the pain is sitting there sometimes active and sometimes gnawing and sometimes passive. May peace fill your heart as you walk through yet another big challenge. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted March 18, 2015 Report Share Posted March 18, 2015 Dear QMary, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you find ways to care for your sister and also take care of yourselves. I know I could not have made it without help from hospice the last several days. Once Doug came home, it especially helped to have a night nurse to help with Doug. My peace of mind in being able to sleep for a while, and knowing he was all right and being cared for and watched over was such a blessing for me. I hope your niece can get some help in caring for Lois. And, oh! have a happy time with the play! I wish we could all come to see it! And, as Kay suggested, bring chocolate. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted March 29, 2015 Report Share Posted March 29, 2015 Mary, you have been on my mind and in my heart this past week, especially on the 27th. Five years, from experience I know it seems like forever ago...and also yesterday. Keeping you close in my prayers my friend.QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted March 29, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 29, 2015 Thank you, QMary. Yes, time plays tricks on us...I so appreciate your thoughts and prayers. It has just this moment begun to rain buckets with trees blowing. Hints of our annual tornado season. We do, however, desperately need the rain. We had a meager amount of snow for our farmers, trees etc. This past winter. I continue to hold Lois and all of you in my heart. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted March 30, 2015 Report Share Posted March 30, 2015 I had to chuckle Mary(mfh) at the meager amount of snow you got this winter. Here in the northeast we got more than about six feet. And it's snowing this morning. I'm sorry it has been five years for you. While I cannot imagine that length of time, I am sending prayers your way. QMary, I'm sending prayers for your sister and you and your family. Goodness... I just realized I am replying to two Marys. I sure miss my sweet sweet Mary... Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted March 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2015 YesButch, I know about your snow. My sister lives in eastern Massachusetts and got 7 feet. We did have plenty of frigid days but a meager amount of snow. I hope your snow is well on its way out.... Yes, five years and I have no clue where the time went. What I can say is it feels like yesterday and a century ago at the same time. Thank you for reaching out. I know these earlier years are extremely painful. You are exhausted and raw and I hold you in my heart. Peace to you and your family Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 31, 2015 Report Share Posted March 31, 2015 Butch, I don't know what happened to the reply I attempted to post earlier. I wish I could have some of your snow for our mountains, our drought will not be a laughing matter this summer, and food prices will go up due to California's drought. It's hard to understand why some keep getting snow and for others it's absent this year. Yes...your Mary. I know you miss her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2015 This post took my breath away today. It is my story...and why I and so many of you miss our beloveds so very much. That key person took away our longing. David Whyte EASTER MORNING IN WALES A garden inside me, unknown, secret, neglected for years, the layers of its soil deep and thick. Trees in the corners with branching arms and the tangled briars like broken nets. Sunrise through the misted orchard, morning sun turns silver on the pointed twigs, I have woken from the sleep of ages and I am not sure if I am really seeing, or dreaming, or simply astonished walking towards sunrise to have stumbled into the garden where the stone was rolled from the tomb of longing. EASTER MORNING IN WALES From RIVER FLOW: New and Selected Poems © David Whyte and Many Rivers Press Photo © David Whyte 2014 Sun Through Sycamores Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 5, 2015 Report Share Posted April 5, 2015 Beautifully written! This morning as I sang in the Easter Cantata, I couldn't help but remember George's face sitting in the back pew, smiling from ear to ear as I sang...I miss him so much! For some reason, I miss him more after all these years, not less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted April 5, 2015 Report Share Posted April 5, 2015 Such a very good message. Thank you, Mary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2015 I have to agree with you, Kay. As time goes on, I see all the pieces of my life that Bill has missed and misses now....and wish he was here to participate. I would guess we learn how to live with our losses but that has little to do with how much we miss someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted April 5, 2015 Report Share Posted April 5, 2015 That, Mary, is a beautiful and powerful poem. Thank you for sharing it here. namaste, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2015 I agree, fae. Here is a video with a rich message. This man is a psychiatrist. http://beyondmeds.com/2015/04/05/breaking-down-is-waking-up/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted April 6, 2015 Report Share Posted April 6, 2015 Mary, thank you. I have watched/listened to his talk twice. New and far more open approach to his medical speciality. I like what he has to say, especially about states of being among those who lack professional care being improved more than those who engage in formal care. What an engaged, engaging, and truly compassionate doctor! How I appreciated his point of view. I had been to the beyond meds site before, but had not seen this video. Thank you for the link. What a refreshing point of view, away from medications and toward a shared experience of healing.Which just goes to show us . . . all we need is Tribe. Thank you and Happy Easter evening. It has been snowing here today, a normal Easter activity for us. But there were many children out for the great Easter Egg Hunt, bundled in colorful outfits covered over by their winter jackets and ski pants. So adorable! I got to see a demo of wax-resist egg decorating and the results. The artists were using beeswax and egg dyes. And a candle.Namaste,fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2015 We used to do our version of wax resistant egg dying as kids...we wrote our names on the eggs with a crayon and then died it. that was as fancy as we got back then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted April 6, 2015 Report Share Posted April 6, 2015 I remember doing the same as a child and then with my daughters. We used the wax crayon to draw rough flowers. I hope you are having a wonderful day. namaste, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2015 This book looks really good. Poems and essays all written by those who have lost a spouse. It is pricey but you can get it used for about $14 so,ething. I buy used all the time and they are often like new. It is called The Widow's Handbook. here is the link. Who knows better what this journey is about than someone who has lost a beloved spouse....this book is filled with their thoughts, pain and words. http://www.amazon.com/Widows-Handbook-Reflections-Survival-Literature/dp/1606352040/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1428361568&sr=1-1&keywords=the+widows+handbook By the way...there is a pretty exciting basketball game on tonight at 8:19 central. UW Wisconsin goes for National championship...won last in 1941. There will not be an empty seat at any bar in the state tonight and there won't be any traffic here in town....you might enjoy seeing these kids play their hearts out. I do NOT watch sports under normal conditions. Might be a good distraction tonight. CBS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 fae, I envy you your snow but am relieved it didn't materialize here as predicted as my car needs new tires (I don't have chains & the tire/chain place just closed down) and my truck is in being worked on. I need a new alternator and it drained my new battery, plus some other stuff. I hope you all had an enjoyable Easter spent with family/friends and a great dinner. Since I was alone, a couple from church invited me to their home for dinner that night. Got a call that night from my son, never heard from my daughter though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Kay, glad you had Easter dinner with friends. My friend Joe and his partner Steve came to my house, and brought the entire meal. Joe is an excellent cook, he prepared leg of lamb with mint jelly, asparagus with hollandaise, roasted potatoes, and a simply to die for dessert called Mocha Pot Au Crème. Best chocolate ever!! Just the three of us, but we had a good afternoon. Steve's granddaughter was baptized at St. John's during the Easter service. Did not hear from any of my children, but did not expect to. Easter was never a big family celebration, except when the kids were little and at home.We are expecting some possible bad weather (storms, hail, etc) today and tomorrow....hope it misses us.QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think this was my first Easter to not hear from my daughter at all or not spend with my son, excepting when he was in the Air Force and couldn't. I don't know, maybe he missed one or two in college, I can't remember. He usually made an effort to drive "home" for it, but I guess this isn't his "home base" any more, nor her's either! It felt weird. I'm jealous of your dinner, it sounds so good! I'm allergic to asparagus, although I'd like to try a bite to see if I still get a reaction or if that's changed at all, but the chocolate sounds to die for! It's been many years since I've had lamb and mint jelly, yum! I miss cooking for others. Right now I have a pot of Kale soup simmering for lunch...it has Kale, Spinach, Celery, Onions, Mushrooms, Cabbage, 1/2 c. diced chicken, 1/2 c. cooked rice, 1/2 tsp. salt, and 4 bouillon cubes. Very yummy! I had some thunder last night, supposed to get more later this week. I love listening to it at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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