My cat accident that cost me

[UnicornsInNeverland]

I recently lost my kitten due to a mistake I made. This happend Sunday morning, and it was recently done when I found him at 8:01 am. 

I normally sleep with my pets as I've had so many throughout my lifetime so I didn't think anything of it. Well today I wish I wouldn't have slept with him. I woke up at 8:01 to find my kitten dead. I cannot get his face out of my mind and to know its my fault is killing me. My partner went and got all of his siblings hoping to make me feel better but it's just not working. I can't believe I was so stupid or careless. I loved this kitten. He was literally one of the first I've actually bonded with. It's ripping me from inside out and all I can do is cry. I've cried for several hours and all I want to do is scream at myself for being so stupid. In all my years alive I've never made this mistake and I would give my legs to have him in my arms again. I haven't been able to admit to my partner as to why I'm sure it was me who killed little alien. I'm so depressed from this and I want to go back and fix it. 

[kayc]

I am so sorry.  I am sorry you lost your kitten, and I'm sorry for how you are feeling.  A lot of times when we feel guilty it's about something we have no control over, we didn't cause any intentional harm, yet we're stuck with these feelings that are hard to live with.  I'm glad you came here and hope you'll take the time to peruse some of the forums as Marty has posted some good material on guilt after loss.

I'm sure your kitten knew you loved him.  (((hugs)))

Edited August 31, 2015 by MartyT
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[Critterdoll]

I am very sorry that this happened to you and your sweet kitty!  Things sometimes happen that we have no control over.  What happened was out of the love you had for this kitty.  You said you bonded with him so that's why you wanted him near you.  You can't allow guilt to get the better of you, because for reasons we don't understand it was meant to be that he went to be with God at such a young age.  KayC said it very well in her post. 

In time you will find your heart opening to let in another kitty as precious as this one and will surely bond with that one as well.  It is obvious that you love animals, so you will definitely have room in your heart for another pet to love when you are ready.

Blessings,

~ Mia ~

[SummerSun]

Oh my, I am so sorry for your loss! And I completely understand how guilty you must be feeling. I lost me kitty on Tuesday. She had been ill and died in my home before I could get her to the vet to put her down. I feel guilty for not knowing when the right time was take her in and as a result she suffered a painful death because of my "mistake." But I have to believe that it happened as it should have, and that she doesn't have hard feelings against me because she knew I loved and cared for her so much.

Hopefully, your guilt is passing, as I hope mine will as time goes on.