R.Everit55 Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 My bride would be 52 on Oct 1st. I don't know what I will do. That day was not a big deal to her but it meant everything to me. I treated her like the princess she was to me. Oct 9th will be 9 months since her passing. I'm still a great deal lost and shocked and don't know if that is "normal" at this stage. The holidays... I just can't imagine. Then the first anniversary of her death Jan 9th. My heart hurts. I wish I had more to say... Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Butch, my plan for the First anniversary is a picture and a nice verse in the local paper . It will definitely be a low Key day. This talk about Christmas has me convinced to go to our midnight services on the Eve...... It is a different life now....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Dear Butch, I understand how you must be feeling. For my boyfriend's bday I was suggested to write a thank-you note and give it to his mother, but I couldn't. I was hurting a lot. Instead, I booked a trip and scheduled many activities for that day. I wasn't strong enough to face his birthday, to call my in-laws...I hope next year I'll be able to write that note. What I mean to say is that whatever you're going to do that day, and for the "firsts", it will be fine. To face it or not. Because your heart is broken and you must cope with so much pain right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 My bride would be 52 on Oct 1st. I don't know what I will do. That day was not a big deal to her but it meant everything to me. I treated her like the princess she was to me. Oct 9th will be 9 months since her passing. I'm still a great deal lost and shocked and don't know if that is "normal" at this stage. The holidays... I just can't imagine. Then the first anniversary of her death Jan 9th. My heart hurts. I wish I had more to say... ButchButch,i understand about how your heart hurts. My wife's birthday is one week before mine. Born in the same year. I would lovingly tease her each year, that she was a year older than me for an entire week. She lovingly, replied, " Don't worry. You will catch up quick!" This year was different. No celebration, no cards or calls. Just me remembering her in the better times. Our life without our spouses are just different now. I just sat in my home and tried to remember what I could of better times and better birthday celebrations. What ever you decide, it will be the right thing for you. This is a journey we take each day; one day at a time. I'm praying for peace and comfort for you, Butch. Shalom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 My wife reveled in the fact that she never grew up. She believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny her entire life. For her birthday the kids and I will be turning one of her gardens into a fairy garden to celebrate her eternal youth and the joy she found daily in being forever young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 Dear Butch, Firstly I think that everything is 'normal' at this stage or any other for that matter, so please don't worry about that. Losing your Princess at such a young age is not normal and can never be.How can you not be lost and shocked? We have been brought to our knees by grief.Birthdays are hell and I can't pretend otherwise. I have only had to contend with one so far (my son's 16th, 6 weeks after the death of his father my husband) and although I doggedly refused to weep openly in front of my son, I admit I was a wreck for the whole of the day. Next is my Mother's Birthday on Oct 10th (mom passed suddenly last year), followed almost immediately by my dad's on 17th,then the holidays, then my birthday, then my husbands. Seemingly never ending milestones to simply 'get through' if we can. Kevin, I like your plan a lot. I think the fact that you even have a plan will help.Scba you are right. Every day is pain right now and a birthday can still only be 24 hours of perhaps sharper pain.George, lovely words as always.Brad your wife sounds like a wonderful woman. What a beautiful tribute to her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 I echo what has already been said here. Yes it's normal to feel this way. You are still early into the journey, even though it may feel like it's been forever, and you can't hope to feel differently than you do at this point. On down the road you will become more accustomed to your new life but will never feel the way you did when Mary was alive...at least that's been my experience and I think that of most people on here.In June I have my dad's birthday, my parents' anniversary (they're both gone), George's birthday, George's death day, and Father's Day, which also was the same as George's death day that year. They are a nine day span and it really hits. How could you feel any way other than you do?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Thank You all kind gentle souls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Oh Butch, what a darling picture of your Mary! She has a beautiful smile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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