Surrealism

[kayc]

Gwen,

I'm glad the x-rays look stable and hope next week's is even better.  I'm in the same predicament with no one to care for my dog, do NOT want to go to a hospital ever again!

[Gwenivere]

Here's what docs don't get about procedures and grief.....they assume you care about whatever issue enough that it overrides the inner pain ripping you apart at the time.  When I had this same small pneumothorax last year, my pulminologist called me at home and said....well, it could collapse your lung and you could die.   I thought really?  You mean this could end this hell I am living in and I wouldn't have to pay in karmic brownie points?   Kewl!  

[Margm]

No, it is not cool Gwen.  If I cannot go, neither can you.  "The one left must stay."  Now, make sure you get your treatment.  If I could not take the 50 morphine, you cannot give up either and I am much older than you.  I also was introduced to my burial plot today.  Come on, get with it gal.  We gotta get on down the road for no other reason than we have to.  Besides, your only allowed to go on during your first year.  After that..........you gotta live.  And I'm serious.

[Gwenivere]

Yessum.  Who am I to argue with Mama Bear?  

[Margm]

Just don't think there are people who do not care.  I care.  I know we all care.  Heck, I have even started taking fruit and vegetable vitamins (cause I cannot eat them), and have gained 8 pounds.  In the pictures today I look like Bossy the cow.  

Anyhow, we care and we want your health to get better cause if your health gets better, maybe a tiny bit of your outlook will be better.  No kidding, WE DO CARE.  

Hugs and 

[Gwenivere]

Thank you, Marg.  Oh, and it was last year I felt that way.  This year I'm just worn out on physical maladies, one after another.  It's tough when your own body won't b your friend.  

[Margm]

Oh Gwen, you have no idea how I understand that.  I love my navy blue Tee shirt and navy blue pants.  Wore them to the cemetery, saw myself in them, never will wear them again.  Not the clothes fault.  I lost so much weight that I enjoyed putting it back on.  Okay, I need to stop.  I have that ruptured colon so I am susceptible to so many things and doc's cannot fix me.  So, we all have our health issues, and then we have our grief issues.  I had health issues when Billy was with me.  I had rather have my health issues and have Billy with me.  But, I can't.  Life's a bitch, etc.  

Love you girl, we all do.  We just gotta keep fighting because we are stronger than we think we are.  I'm not having fun and I know you are not having fun either.  I have lots of things I plan on doing.  I am not looking forward to any of them.  I have to go tomorrow to have my SS switched to my credit union.  I sent in the wrong check # for my AT&T phone bill that the family uses and I did not have enough money in mine and Billy's old credit union.  I cannot make those mistakes.  But I did.  

Now, if the pneumothorax needs fixed, get it fixed.  You have to keep breathing good, Gin has to get her red blood cell count up, and I just have to keep on visiting the bathroom.  (On edit, that sounds better than what I had written.)

[KarenK]

Gwen,

I am picturing you floating around your yard in your nightgown like a "wraith". I don't want you to become a real one. You, Kay, and I need to stick together on our after hours adventures.

Marg,

You mentioned seeing your burial plot. Talk about surreal! That was what I felt when I saw our headstone with my name on it. It was not upsetting, just a weird feeling.

[Gwenivere]

I kinda like the wraith idea as I have some mind altered neighbors and I could REALLY freak them out!  

I think of headstones and poor Ebenezer trying to erase his!