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mfh

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Everything posted by mfh

  1. Significant Quotes

    I did one of these topics a long time ago. If you are like me you find quotes that you just know will touch someone else here. I find them all the time especially on Pinterest and various websites. Why not add those to this topic and share them with others. Here is the first one: "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares" . - Henri Nouwen
  2. https://te108.infusionsoft.com/app/hostedEmail/18660901/dd9c63fa8c8f8901?inf_contact_key=f0775d697cfdf21a789bdfd2ebfc3c3b01df17c3f01215c01f77cbc1e1052a4d Rachel Naomi Remen MD is an author who wrote Kitchen Table Wisdom. TODAY at 2pm Central (3pm EST) she will present a FREE webinar on Medicine for the Soul: 10 ways your soul guides you in daily life. The link above provides the code needed to watch this free seminar. To learn more about Rachel and listen to or watch other material, click here: http://www.rachelremen.com/
  3. Thank you. I so agree about the fires. Like others here, I am sure we have connections to those fires with loved ones living in the areas and I think of the wild life and growth that is being destroyed to say nothing of the buildings including homes. Most likely. We are surely learning or can learn as a country to do what you here do daily, support and care for each other.
  4. Hello everybody, I see some familiar faces and names as I read posts. For those of you who do not know me, I am Mary, a colleague of Marty's and a former member and then moderator here. I will be covering the boards until Marty's power is back on. It could be a day or two or longer. I will check in a couple of times a day, read new posts and respond as needed. Probably the most important thing you might want t to know about me is that I lost my beloved husband Bill in 2010 and joined these boards to gain support. It was the worst day of my life and I had no clue how to walk through it. As a therapist of many years I knew grief and loss well. I even knew many personal losses. But Bill's death was in a whole new world. With hard work and lots of support and time I am still here, still carry Bill in my heart a d soul daily, still miss him, and am creating a life for myself. You can read any of my posts if interested. In the meantime, I am here and Marty will notify me when power is on again. It appears the surge was, so far, not as damaging as anticipated but MSNBC is saying they will know more tomorrow. Let us hold each other and Marty in our hearts in these personal and global trying times. peace in our pain, Mary
  5. Meditation

    One of my favorite NPR program (on line or on your radio if your state subscribes to it) is On Being with Krista Tibbet http://www.onbeing.org/ Krista interviews incredible people from all over the world. Below are some links to her July 2012 interview with Roshi Joan Halifax...another gift to this world. The first is a 10 min. meditation on grief. The second is the unedited (you can listen to edited or unedited interviews. I prefer the latter) with Joan. The third link takes you to various exerpts by Joan Halifax. My gift to you this Saturday morning. I will add to this topic over time as I discovered meaningful links mostly on meditation which I believe is one of about 5 things/people who saved my skin these past almost 3 years. With love, Mary Meditation on Grief with Joan Halifax (10 min) http://www.onbeing.org/program/compassions-edge-states/4980 Unedited interview with Joan Halifax from On Being http://www.onbeing.org/program/compassions-edge-states/4980/extraaudio?embed=1 Roshi Halifax is a medical anthropologist, and founder and abbot of the Upaya Zen Center. http://www.onbeing.org/gsearch/joan%2Bhalifax
  6. Had to check in and see this exhibit. It is incredible. Classy, well presented, great art....and all for a worthy cause. Congratulations on what you are doing to support these discussion groups. Wish I was in AZ and could stop by. I hope every piece cells and that many people come to support this. Marty has been an exceptional, compassionate, caring founder and moderator for many years and it does my heart good to see this continue and this project underway. Peace to all, Mary
  7. About 3 months after Bill died a friend invited me to go up north where she was teaching a writing class for a week at a UW program. We rented a cabin on the river and I signed up for a watercolor class and have since experienced watercolor as a healing tool that is sometimes just a distraction, other times an expression of various feelings from despair to hope, from sorrow to joy. I came across this site today and it contains various ideas on the use of art to heal. I pass it on to you in hopes it might be helpful to someone. http://www.expressiveartworkshops.com/expressive-artists/100-art-therapy-exercises/
  8. Bentley

    For those who remember me... My sweet Golden Retriever Bentley died this morning. So many here were so kind when he was diagnosed 2 years ago.
  9. Mary (mfh) here. Many of you will remember me as a member and as a moderator. Marty contacted me and asked me to announce that she is off line due to a problem with the power at her home and therefore unable to get on the internet. She will be back on lind here when the power is back on but did not know when that would be. I will check back with her later for an update and will post it. I am posting this a couple of places so everyone sees it. Peace, Mary
  10. MONDAY UPDATE Marty's service call has now been postponed until some time tomorrow. Frustrating for all concerned. I have communicated to her that everyone here is taking good care of each other. Peace Mary
  11. Update on Marty as of Friday evening Marty has informed me that she cannot get a service response until sometime Monday in spite of all of her efforts. So she will be off line through Monday. She asked me to tell you that she is counting on each and every one of you to take good care of one another until she is back. As a personal favor to Marty, I will be checking in for emergency purposes only. Take good care. Peace, Mary
  12. Update on Marty

    Update on Marty as of Friday evening Marty has informed me that she cannot get a service response until sometime Monday in spite of all of her efforts. So she will be off line through Monday. She asked me to tell you that she is counting on each and every one of you to take good care of one another until she is back. As a personal favor to Marty, I will be checking in for emergency purposes only. Take good care. Peace, Mary
  13. As of this morning Marty's power and internet is still out. She and I are in co tact often. I will be checking in here often also. Peace, Mary
  14. Update on Marty as of Friday evening Marty has informed me that she cannot get a service response until sometime Monday in spite of all of her efforts. So she will be off line through Monday. She asked me to tell you that she is counting on each and every one of you to take good care of one another until she is back. As a personal favor to Marty, I will be checking in for emergency purposes only. Take good care. Peace, Mary
  15. iheartm said: " I've asked Marty to delete my account so not to worry, I won't be "attacking" anyone anymore once she is back online. Thanks for refusing to even try to see any validity in anything I had to say and instead just jumped all over me accusing me of attacking. Feels great to have no family, no friends that are widows and no support groups to join." Dear iheartm, I am so sorry you feel you must leave when so many here have reached out to you. I will pass along to Marty your request to have your name removed from the membership list. I am especially sorry you have made this decision in view of how people here have reached out to you. I do hope you find the support you are seeking. I do believe firmly (after reading this string) that it is certainly here to be found but I respect your decision to look elsewhere. Mary
  16. Mary here. I am a former moderator stepping in for Marty until she can get back on line. Many here know me but many do not as I have not been on the forums for many months. I am also a bereaved spouse, having lost the love of my life 6 years ago. I am also a psychotherapist and grief counselor of 40 years. Just to let you know who is typing here. I have read much of this string and It is sad when someone feels a need to leave because they do not feel supported. Especially when these groups are filled with supportive people. I can not say what Marty has said about the tension here any more clearly or better than she has said it. I would hope that anyone who is considering leaving or who is feeling unsupported would scroll back through this string and re-read Marty's many posts addressing the tension. People are free on these forums to share their pain basically on any forum and all of us here are called on to read and respond from a place of love and compassion. Judging, putting "should" on ourselves or others does not work. Time for folks to take a breath, read Marty's wise input, and reach out in love. I do not think anyone here intentionally wants to hurt anyone. The upset we feel is within each of us....everyone here is in pain and so looking inside to our own pain when we feel upset by something someone types is a good starting place. Even after six years I find myself being hypersensitive to what people say, people who have no intention of saying anything to upset me. This journey through grief is tenuous, and we frequently react to others instead of responding. Yes, I still do this occasionally. Judging anyone just does not work. I hope everyone here stays and continues to just be present in love to each other in their pain....empathic compassionate caring. I will be checking back in now amd then until Marty gets power back in her home. These forums helped me so much when I felt hopeless. I know that is and can be true for everyone here. I wish each of you peace as you also struggle with loss. Mary
  17. Thank you. How are you doing, Karen?
  18. Mary (mfh) here. Many of you will remember me as a member and as a moderator. Marty contacted me and asked me to announce that she is off line due to a problem with the power at her home and therefore unable to get on the internet. She will be back on lind here when the power is back on but did not know when that would be. I will check back with her later for an update and will post it. Peace, Mary
  19. Thank you so much. It is good to see familiar faces....Things are going pretty well. Peace to all, Mary
  20. Mary (mfh) here. Many of you will remember me as a member and as a moderator.

    Marty contacted me and asked me to announce that she is off line due to a problem with the power at her home and therefore unable to get on the internet. She will be back on lind here when the power is back on but did not know when that would be. I will check back with her later for an update and will post it.

    Peace,

    Mary

  21. Just an update on the switch I am doing for Bentley's diet. I met with a friend today who gave me a ton of information to add to what I have already reaped. She feeds raw and has for 13 years. Her dogs are the picture of health. (I do not much of anything half way ) I am not prepared to try raw given Bentley's digestive issues but the ingredients are the same no matter cooked or raw. Before you jump into this, it is wise to think about the time it takes. I believe it will be cheaper for me since Bentley has been on a prescription diet that I do not believe is high quality at all but costs a lot. I also will be joining with a group who gets a hefty discount on meat and tripe. (Tripe is the lining of an animals stomach and has the most vitamins and minerals in it). When a prey animal kills, he (or she) eats the tripe first because instinctively they know it is loaded with vitamins and minerals. I currently use freeze dried tripe and liver for treats for Bentley. I will be cooking for one month at a time and start with a beef diet and a chicken. Eventually I will get to three months at a time. So think about that. My friend has 3 dogs and it NOW after a long time of practice takes her ONE morning every three months to prepare a 3 month supply. Not bad but in the beginning that will be much longer especially if you include studying about it which you must do so you know what you are doing not just what I am doing. Anyway, I have just spent 2 hours on this and I know it will be a few days before I have the final product given all this new info. I hope to begin making the transition within two weeks and have been preparing him by using treats of food that will be in the diet to see if he develops diarrhea. I am convinced his bouts of diarrhea are not diet related but are lymphoma related. I will post here as I go along but in the end, I will post the actual diet I will use with Bentley and all dogs I ever have in the future. It is important that you understand the needs of a dog in terms of diet...including supplements. I have learned too much about processed food to ever use it again but if I did have to for some unknown to me now reason, it would be as close to homemade as I could afford or buy. But that is just me. Buy the best you can buy. Here is a great site I am studing today: http://www.dogaware.com/diet/homemade.html (home) http://www.dogaware.com/diet/homemade.html#supplements(supplements) "Getting calcium right is essential. Meat has phosphorus and it must be balanced with calcium 2:1. Adult dogs need around 800 to 1,000 mg of calcium per pound of food fed. They also require the calcium to be supplied in a proper proportion to phosphorus. The ideal calcium: phosphorus ratio in the canine diet is between 1:1 and 2:1. Meat contains a lot of phosphorus, so the more meat a diet contains, the more calcium will be required to reach the correct calcium:phosphorus ratio. Adding 800 to 1,000 mg of calcium will provide the correct calcium:phosphorus ratio even for a high-meat diet, unless you use a calcium supplement that also contains phosphorus. In that case, moderately higher amounts of calcium may be needed to balance out the additional phosphorus contained in the supplement.Ground eggshell can be used as a calcium supplement. Rinse eggshells and dry them on a counter overnight, or in the oven, then grind them in a clean coffee grinder. One large eggshell provides one teaspoon of ground eggshell, which contains 2,000 mg of calcium, so add ½ teaspoon ground eggshell per pound of food fed. Don’t use eggshells that haven’t been ground to powder, as they may not be absorbed as well."
  22. Sleep

    http://www.alternet.org/story/154424/the_8-hour_sleep_myth%3A_how_i_learned_that_everything_i_knew_about_sleep_was_wrong?paging=off&current_page=1#bookmark An interesting and helpful piece on sleep for those who prowl around at night desperate for sleep. Getting adequate sleep is so important as we grieve. Grief is exhausting and stressful and sleep heals our bodies especially our brains.
  23. I apologize. I wrote to this group to find out the local time for the event and was told it was an in person event but will be available as a podcast soon. Watch the site (tns.commonweal.org) to find out when and when I do find out, I will post in this category. So sorry. But worth the wait. I am sure many of you do not know who I am. I have been a member here since 2010. I lost my husband that year and in 2012 was also a moderator here for a year. For those who do know me....Bentley my Golden is still with me, hanging in and doing fairly well. Lymphoma has not won yet. I light a candle every day for each of you as I meditate and as we all walk this path together. The following is a link to an interview/chat with Francis Weller. Francis is the author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow. He is close to the top of my top ten list of favorite authors on grief. He is a psychotherapist, poet, author and speaker and leads grief ritual weekends around the country. I will be attending one of these next April and I know I can only benefit from the weekend. This free on line interview is a great opportunity to get a chance to meet him and hear what he has to say. http://tns.commonweal.org/events/francis-weller-2/#.VkDtUL9klNj
  24. http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/stuff-your-dogs-kong-with-delicious-homemade-tail-mix?WT.mc_id=mbfacebook I just found this recipe from a vet. It is for stuffing Kongs, freezing, and using as needed. I am not fond of dental chews for Bentley and I stuff the end with a bone shaped treat that he has to work hard in order to get it to budge. I am planning to study these ingredients and pit them again the Dog Food Advisor site that I totally trust to see which ones I will change out. I will notify when that is done. Food Advisor is at: http://www.dogfoodadvisor.com/ My dog trainer friend (who helped me prepare Bentley for therapy dog test) feeds her dogs a raw food diet. I will not do that and it is not allowed by Pet Partners for fear of ecoli. She knows what she is doing and knows dogs and dog food and recommends the Dog Food Advisor information. They test foods and rate them. I use Fromm's, made in Wisconsin and first three ingredient are meat sourced as a dog needs.
  25. Canine Homemade Diet Information

    Yes, I do believe this is life long learning and sorting out opinions. I have a Nutri Bullet which is a power house to make smoothies. That should handle the veggies. The puree will also add some moisture to the meat which is 75% of the contents. I steer away from pumpkin as it gave him diarrhea once. I do use sweet potatoes but go easy on those. Peace
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