What Sheryl Sandburg Learned From Her Husband's Death

[MartyT]

Sheryl Sandberg gave the commencement speech at UC Berkeley on Saturday, one year and thirteen days after her husband Dave Goldberg died suddenly last year. Speaking to a crowd of students through occasional tears, she told the graduates how much that tragedy had taught her about the importance of resilience.  Read on here >>>

[Dew's Girl]

I read that yesterday.  Great article.

I loved the Option B analogy.  I no longer have my Option A of growing old with Daniel and sharing a life with him.  I don't feel like I'm kicking it out of the park with Option B of living without Daniel, but I'm just going to keep practicing.

[kayc]

Very good!  I urge people to not just listen to the video, which is very short, but also read the written words because they are additional to the video.

[MartyT]

Yes, Kay, I agree! I found this statement about permanence especially helpful:

[Sheryl] Sandberg went on to describe the three “P”s of bouncing back from setbacks, according to psychologist Martin Seligman: personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence. Once you understand the three Ps, Sandberg said, it’s much easier to fight back against the negative thinking that can make it difficult to stay resilient . . . "the third “P” is permanence, the sense that any hardship will last forever, and that sadness multiplies into itself. We often project our current feelings out indefinitely—and experience what I think of as the second derivative of those feelings. We feel anxious—and then we feel anxious that we’re anxious. We feel sad—and then we feel sad that we’re sad. Instead, we should accept our feelings—but recognize that they will not last forever."  

[KATPILOT]

Yes I read it just now. It takes a lot of courage to talk about something that you know will bring you to tears in front of a large crowd of people who you do not know personally. I want to use the word valor but it just doesn't say enough.

Sometimes Marty I wish so much that those feelings would not last forever but although they change and the sorrow lessens, they morph as they go never truly to vanish.

But I get it. I truly do yet even when I listen to inspirational thoughts and ideas, I am also reminded that I still have such a long hard road ahead of me. And (sigh), you get tired sometimes.

[MartyT]

I understand, Stephen. Truly, I do. And when we're that kind of tired, we get by with a little help from our friends. ♥

[Margm]

She gave a touching speech.  I admire her fortitude and could hear the crying in her voice.  I got to thinking about not being able to swim and her saying "when life sucks you under, kick against the bottom, find the surface and breathe again." I do know it is anxiety that makes a person drown, and that is something I have not conquered, but can keep on kicking that bottom.  She was beautiful.  

[kayc]

Marty,

I liked that too.  Her message was brief but oh how she learned it!  And she KNEW of what she spoke of!

[kayc]

Marg,

Yes, I loved that analogy, it reminds me what we all need to remember...keep on kicking!

[Patty65]

Thank you Marti for sharing that.  I will remember the three P's.  I need to.

Patty