Rochel

Hi Linda, I'm sorry you are still having such a rough time...I just met with a counselor and she said don't run from your grief, lean into it...I know that you have not run from it, but I also know that you have encouraged all of us here at the forum family...Linda my friend, I will pray for you...Rochel

Hi Kimi, May the Lord touch and heal your daughter in His mighty way...You have my prayers too...I pray the it will be a benign situation...Bless you in this most difficult trial....Rochel

Good to see that Azusaman is back...we all missed him...Good devotional, really helped me...Rochel

Hi Tim, When I read that your house is bare I got sad...at least, go out and buy a beautiful pointsettia..the bright read ones that you see all over the place...dedicate it to Lucille and everytime you look at it think of her beauty and how she would not want you to be so sad...Oh Gee," now I'm saying what everybody says...."She wouldn't want you to-----------I would think to myself, how do they know what he/she would want....but I say to you Tim, the plant would make you feel better...I will pray for you......Rochel

Another Happy Birthday...is the happy part appropriate??? I don't like that word anymore...or at least now!!! Hope your day went well...May next year be a happier one...rough to watch the tree ceremony...May the Lord richly bless you!!! Rochel

Dear jrm, I'm glad to hear that you are getting better physically...you are right, it is very hard to have our broken hearts mended..tears, time and tasking is how I'm coping...staying busy so I can't think is best...staying with my mom has helped but unfortunately my mind came with me with the memories flooding in at times..at least the sick feeling in my gut is lessening...Bless you, Rochel

Hi Debbie, This is a good post because we have all had those insensitive people in our lives...I had this gal house sit my house and doggie and last year she had given he a little clock...when I got home she said "do you notice anything missing"?? I said Yeah!!! My Bob...she said "No silly, your clock that I bought you, it needed a new battery" then she said (really valuable huh!!) I was rather astonished....and just walked away...Like you said they do not have a clue...You are right, they are toxic especially when they talk about themselves...Have a blessed day.Rochel

Dear Linda My Friend, What a bummer....In a book on grief that I'm reading mentions that our unconscious mind has to catch up with our conscious mind..that really hit me because yesterday my mom wanted to see Bob's memorial and I thought I could handle it in my conscious mind...more data than emotion...well, all our memories are in the unconscious mind and when I watched it with her I felt sad but did not cry...then she wanted to hear some music..I put on our music "Sade" and thought of how we used to dance in the livgingroom and I got sadder...hours later I cried like a baby....I tried to control it, but it just comes over us and we have to let it have its onery way...I wouldn't say that is a friend either not to ask how you're doing...fair weather friend...I will pray for you...You can vent here anytime...that is what we are here for....Bless you Rochel

Well Folks here I am in sunny California and it is cold and not sunny...tonight my mom wanted me to set up a little fibro optic Christmas tree that I brought with me, and after setting it up...I wanted to be in my own home crying...I also watched a dvd of the memorial today because my mom wanted to see it...and that made me sad...Christmas is coming and even though I went to a "prepare for Christmas" meeting, it did not help the feeling I have today...I'm going to have to make friends here and I don't even feel friendly...I think you all know what I mean...I know, we are suppose to just snuff our feelings and move on...who can??? I have to get busy and do something for these type of days with my mom....Starting another book "Widow to Widow"...There are so many books for the likes of us...Bless you all...Rochel

Hi Ted, Do you ski?? I guess it may snow soon in AZ...Wouldn't want to break my leg, but I love to ski...Haven't done it in a very long time...have to be careful...Is it cold in AZ??? It is pretty cold here...Bless you, Rochel

Hi Ted, We all like your posts...so you can't leave this site...Pray before you decide to go to Oklahoma...might fall into old stuff you don't need at this time of grieving...give yourself some time before important decisions..I don't think you whine anymore than the rest of us..we are all in the same boat grieving until we get healthy...Feeling sorry for yourself is not exactly correct..Grieve has many faces and facets to it until it goes away, however not that soon unfortunately...Stay close to the Lord my friend...You need His guidance...It is very easy not to be a good housekeeper...everything is disheveled in our minds, to therefore in our houses....Talk soon...have to get this car in shape to sell....Bless you Rochel..

Hi Linda My Friend, You are so right...they are blessed to be where they are at...and we are the suffering spouses that have to look, hear, feel and taste the memories that make us want them....They, like Ted mentioned face to face with the Father...we are face to face with our grief....It is a little easier for me being in Ca., now I have a car to sell and my mother to look after...the memories are in AZ..and I'm glad to leave them there for now...You sound better and better each day...I'm proud of you and love your encouraging words....Bless you today...Rochel

Hi Kath, How difficult for you to even touch the tree that meant 27 years of love and devotion...I love your posts...thanks for being a big part of this family with your encouraging words and help for the broken hearted....Bless you, Rochel

Hi Jackie, Since you are young, I recommend this book to you...It is very good and you can get it on Amazon (used) for about $6.00...It is entitled I'm Grieving As Fast As I Can...How Young widows and widowers can cope and heal...It has helped me get thru lots of questions...even when I didn't ask them...I'm sorry for your loss...Bless you woman of God....Rochel

Dear Caroline, Those are beautiful words in that card...that is for all those that feel a measure of guilt that creeps upon us....The grief is bad enough without the guilt coming upon us....Yes, I'm lonely, but prefer to be alone...until the time is right....and even then, I have to pick and choose who I really want to be with...Now that I'm in Cali, it is me and mom....and she is elderly so I will probably do a little of caregiving here too...Welcome to this family Caroline....Rochel

Hi Ted, I haven't been able to get to this site until now...My car overheated after 10 hours of driving stop and start traffic on the way to my moms...Virtually stopped on a California freeway....Just found out that I have blown head gaskets and that will cost about about $2,000...Ask me if I'm mad, bummed and other choice words...I can't get my laptop working until I talk to my mom's IP...My mom's body needs medical attention and I'm definitely grieving over the loss of Bob as you are Adrianne...Reading about your evening...have a good time and I will try and write soon... I send Love to my family here and I hope that you are all healing in a healthy way...without help from drugs, alcohol and other bandaids...we all know that this is the way to depression and if is all said and done...I have added to the grief monster and now I need to get alone with the Lord and pray to have my peace return...I will pray for all of us to have Peace...Blessings, Rochel

Thanks Ted, I just got home and I'm disconnecting computers...working on the old but a goodie and getting Abbey my cocker situated with her up and coming trip...Hope you had a Good Thanksgiving...Mine was better than expected...See you all soon...Blessings, Rochel....

Hi Ted, You have as good of a Thanksgiving that you can have also...I will be off the site for awhile so I will say good bye for now...Bless you Rochel

You go "Girl"!!! I'm so proud of you...I bet that they thought Jesus had walked thru the door...You are a wonderful person Kath and many of your posts have blessed me...You have a good day...Bless you, Rochel

Hi Phyllis, Yeah, isn't it hard to hear that you have a lot to be thankful for...I feel the same way...and it is weird when you are around many people and then left completely alone, that ole bad heavy spirit comes on like gang busters...That has happened to me several times...you just howl sometimes so God will pick you up and take you to your lost Love...I will pray for you Phyllis..In fact, this morning I prayed for the entire family here...you are all so special....Rochel

Hi Linda,I bet that you and Brian would entertain with his beautiful music on this day!!!...I know that you will be around your many loved ones today...it is so hard to not have so many memories...When you picture him in the grocery store, I bet you get that ache in the pit of your stomach...I know I do...We can't help but think of them, but then we have to suffer the consequences...It sure doesn't seem quite fair does it...Yes, I must say that the grocery store is the place for tears...I watch all the smiling couples and listen to the laughter and I fold...Since this loss, I have trouble with a lot of people laughing...I used to laugh a lot more than now...Bob would also be in the meat department looking for the best deals...He was generous, but he loved deals...We were together last year with my mom and her friend and this year...Bob is gone...and I'm going to Ca. to move in with my mom for awhile...I urge people not to fight with their loved ones...nothing is that important...You have a good day my friend...and keep being the beautiful woman that you are inside and out...Blessings, Sheila

My Dear Friend Kat, I am with you sister and in your corner with my arm around you and I'm sobbing right next to you...I had a meltdown last night...the worse yet...ready to leave my home for about 2 mos...wanting to take Bob's sweatshirt with me and when I saw the red Wisconsin...I lost it...The pain was so bad that I told myself "just go to bed"...this was also after thinking about this time last year I was complaining that the stuffing was too dry...little did I know I wouldn't have my man next to me this year....such little crap that people worry about...I'm telling all the people that I see don't fight with your loved ones, you don't know where they will be next year....I would urge you Kat that don't think beyond today, it will help you in the most rough of times...keep your eyes on God and He will see you thru...Bless you this day...Rochel

Change Your Thinking It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking. Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.. Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene. One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.' Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy. 'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'

Hi Ted, What a beautiful heart lifter...Thanks for the encouragement....To everybody, I'm busy getting ready for this trip so I will tune in later...Bless all of you...one day at a time...baby steps and We never know what is beyond the bend in the road....Rochel

Hi Korina, Kauai, was Bob's dream...he went to their website everyday...We stayed on the north side "Princeville" on the bluff overlooking the ocean...It was fantastic...I will attempt to put some pictures up for you...don't know how, but I will find out...It would be very cool to get married in Kauai...you two were blessed...Did you take any pictures?? Have a good day with your lil one.... Rochel