Rochel

Oh Ted I'm sorry to hear of the dreaded date...Like I told you the grief lurks around corners and the least time you expect it boom! it is there...and you have to deal with it or it will take you down...How was church?? what was the message? I like your new picture...Today has been touch and go, you know how you get that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach...I get that in our backyard...like his spirit is floating around or something...I will say a pray for you....Heavenly Father I ask you to lift Ted out of this Heaviness Lord and give him peace and the Joy only you can give...Bless him with a good night and a good night's sleep...In Jesus name...Amen

Dear Amy, or Steely which one do you like? Sundays are hard for me too...we used to be together every Sunday also...I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time...but, as you can see, we all are having a hard time...I spoke with my mom today and told her how much my life has changed and that I can't do anything about it....she said "you can change it, it is up to you"...she doesn't get it...I mean "MOM I want Bob back and you want Harold back, and Ted wants Adrianne back, and Linda wants Brian back and so on and so on with everybody else on this site...I'm so glad that we all understand one another on this site....Be good and sweet to yourself...Bless you Dear Steely....Rochel

Hi DeeGee, It looks like you joined us in August and I would say "Yes" it is too soon if you don't want to...Seeing his gravemarker for the first time is a shock too.....I found out 3 times that I pushed myself out the door too soon and when I got out there, I felt distant from everything and unable to happily communicate..It is so weird because I'm very outgoing usually with Bob at home or by my side...I should have read your letter a long time ago...Little by little baby steps...Bless you DeeGee

I surely can relate to this...Bob stayed on top of the news all the time because he traded the Markets..so he had to know all the financial stuff...Yes, we would do the same thing talk endlessly about the world and the shape it is in and how blessed we are that we are not in over our heads...Wow!..do things chage huh...now I talk to my Cocker Spaniel and friends...Bless you, Rochel

Glad you are going to church...sounds like you like your Pastor a lot....that's good...I don't go to where we attended..it is too hard...I'm trying Praxis in Tempe...Did you two go together every Sunday...I don't like going alone, but I too got the word this morning from the Lord to be there...He is going to show me more about this healing..I think I will call it healing instead of grief unless it is crappy then it is back to calling it grief..Talk to you soon...Rochel

Hi Korina, I have felt the same thing about the news not wanting to engage in all its negativity and futile ways...Now, what is this about health care??? Time to come to the present time of the world even though it is hard, we need to be with it I guess...I'm with you Dear Korina...Rochel

How sad Debbie, when I'm around these type of people, I give them a wide berth immediately...I had somebody tell me the other day that "God wouldn't want me to keep grieving like this"...How do they know what God wants...Your dad is from the "old school", that your son should just "buck up, and be a man"...bull!!!!, I think it is great that your 22 year old son is allowing those feelings to come out...hopefully, he can be with his friends and really let it out...I like your venting, keep doing it...Bless your Sunday..Rochel

Good Morning Ted, Thanks for the kick in the rear to help me realize that I have been getting so negative...It is good that we can all recognize when one of us is really out of sync...That is what is so good about this site...we are all on the same page and we all know how much it hurts to grieve this much...what a great healing tool this is...Thanks again Ted for rising to the occasion...Rochel

Good Morning Everybody, I was thinking of something, when I look at all the couple photos, we all look so happy....little did we all know that when we were having that picture taken, we were happy, together and not too many cares in the world...Little did we know that these photos would be on a grief site on the internet.... Ours was taken in Kauai on our vacation after a beautiful island church service and we were happy, healthy and looking to be together for a long time...Surprise! other plans were lurking...Not to be negative, just fact...where were all your pictures taken, what was the setting....I think when we go back into our memories, we could have a healing with this walking down memory lane....Have a great Sunday....Rochel

Hi Linda, I hear you loud and clear...When I go to places, I have a semi good time, but the drive home is weird and kind of cold...we need a rubber doll that talks or something..haha...I try not to go too far, then blast the radio on the way home...Glad that you had a good time while you were there...and you were able to freely talk about Scott....Have a blessed Sunday my friend...Rochel

Hi Korina, Thanks for checking up on me...I am much better today because I got a real dent in the packing and making of plans for the trip...I'm so glad that the beauty of the internet, I can take my forum family with me wherever I go...We need this connectedness at this time of our lives...I also went out with some friends and Bob was suppose to be there...It is good to be with people that will allow us to babble on about our Loves...Today I'm going to church with my daughter and her husband and I plan to get more "positive" about life, living and the pursuit of happiness....Bless your Sunday...Rochel

Dear Linda, I'm proud of you for getting out there tonight...It is better to be around people that knew Brian so that you can honor him and talk about him...When we talk about our Loves, it makes us feel like we were part of something very special at one time, instead of half of a person...Why does it seem, the more time that goes on, the farther way they seem...Bless you Dear Linda, have a good Sunday...Rochel

What is Azusaman mean?? I use that saying all the time about the water....Sounds like you are a good housekeeper...are you a neat nick??? I worked outside today in my garden trying to get rid of this grief monster...all it does is lurk around corners waiting for the unsuspecting widow to meet it face to face...I would love to get a Saturday night special and do it in...and somehow fight it...................

Speakin of Grief again...today when I woke up I felt this presence with me...and it wasn't the Lord...I couldn't shake it all day...My guess is that it is despair...bad place to land...the grief and sorrow you move thru...despair is like an ulgly place you land and it can overtake you...I was minding my own business going for a walk in our beautiful weather when all of a sudden boom!! Sadness comes over me...I had to get home and try and shake it off...Like I was telling Ted...Our spouses liked us and loved us, so who do we know that knew us so well....everything about us...our goods and our bads and accepted us just like the way we are...If I think like this too much, I can bring on a heaviness that won't lift...I hate this because I'm usally a very positive and fun person....I am probably not wanting to leave AZ to live with my mom for awhile...Word to the wize, don't make big decisions too soon...I made this decision to go to Calie even before Bob passed....!! I went out for an early dinner with some friends and it was date night...that's fun....Talk to you all later...Blessings, Rochel

Good Afternoon Ted...Thanks for asking... What I notice the most Ted is when you focus on, that you want them and only them, you really can get down into the dumps...I have so much to do here that I can't let this stupid grief debilitate me...I mean let's face it, they are not coming back, and if we don't move on we are the ones that are suffering...I called a good friend and she prayed for me...as for you, sounds like the bachelor in you is emerging...is this good...good to get out though I bet...Adrianne knew you better than anyone else and Bob knew me better than anybody else, it would be hard to replace that fun familarity...and be yourself...I don't know when or how that is going to happen in the future...near or far...who knows...only God, and He is not telling....Bless you Rochel

Let's see "not too careful" that would mean, Gee, It is Friday night and I did work on this test all day, I deserve to..................you fill in the blank......When we say to be good to yourself, you don't have to take it so literal...

Thanks Greta...we were very happy in that picture...I was proud to be his wife and he loved me lots...now, this is Friday night and it sucks to be alone...Your poems and words are a blessing...Rochel

Thanks Kathy, I will look into that....Have a good Friday....Rochel

I used to have a "Z" and I also got a speeding ticket..when I went to dispute it the guy said "that is you"...I said "NO, I think that's my husband in drag, he had the car that day"....No lady, that's you they had me there...good that you can take an on-line test instead of sit for hours...I don't dare speed anymore..takes the fun out of driving....Happy Friday whatever you do...be careful out there...Rochel

Hi Lucia, I did not hear about the celebration...Most likely I will be getting ready to start packing for my trip to Calie...I have to start early in the game because I'm not clearly thinking these days because of this loss...Thanks for letting me know though...Maybe I will hear about it in the mail today....All of you will look cute in his hats...sounds like wonderful sons....Bless you, Rochel

Because Ted my friend...My credit was in my husband's name even though I'm a fine upstanding citizen...When I alerted the credit card company of his death they killed his card, which killed my card...Now after 34 years of paying bills together because I definitely contributed to household monies and since they do not take that into consideration, I have to qualify all over again...In other words...build credit....This is my bent-ness and on this subject I am not striaghtened out...Have a Blessed day...Rochel

Thanks Linda, Yesterday, I did just that I bought some plants and I plan to put in a garden...I will take you up on the idea of a tree later on maybe New Years Eve...will be sad for me...there was always happy times than...Bless you Linda...I know that it has been rough going for you...I love that we can all help one another.....Rochel

Thanks Ted...I'm glad you are starting to feel better....not too much toast...we want to keep you around...Bless you, Rochel

I must say Ted you sound rather positive tonight...I'm glad that Thanksgiving won't be a problem...you don't think anyway...Have you heard "Rescue Blues" Ryan Adams...heard it tonight for the first time..pretty cool...

Thanks to everybody for helping me remember my Bob...I stayed busy all day and my friends and my daughter made sure that I did...I listened to my son-in-law playing the bass guitar in a band that plays out - Rock n Roll all night...that felt good and some Blues that was chancy remembering the romance we had had had had when listening to these songs...sad time...but got thru it...Bless you all...Rochel