west

I am so sorry that you are dealing with the loss of tommy and the difficulty you are having with your daughter. I believe she does not know or want to know what you are going through. Enjoy the friends you have, depend on your son and may peace be with you.

I am ten months into my grief journey, and I too ask myself, "Can this be true?" I know my husband has died; it has been long, long nights without him, yet I still have difficulty accepting that I will never see him again. Thank you for sharing your therapist's thoughts; it takes time for the brain to be able to accept reality. May we accept our reality and find some peace.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. there is no greater loss than that of losing your child. May you find happiness in his memories and joy in the knowledge that he is in a better place. My only suggestion is to keep busy; get up every day and get out for walks, work, etc. I hope you find peace.

thanks for the uplifting thoughts...

Be patient and you will come out of this. it is not easy and there are many of us who feel as you do. We wil continue and win the journey. Take heart, it will change and you will be able to love yourself again. Be strong and take a minute at a time.

I can identify with you...while people are there you put on a brave front then the door closes and again we are alone. I do not know how you eventually get through this. I pray you will find peace soon. I know that in the last nine months it has been so difficult and putting up a happy front is hard. No one really wants to here how you are really doing. It only changes when they are walking in your shoes. Take heart, many of us feel as you do.

I read the book after my husband died and found great comfort in knowing that he was in a better place.

Exhaustion is such a part of the grieving process. I actually thought I was doing better and then the holidays...yuck. who would have thought that last Christmas we were happy and our kids were settled. this year too many problem and no one to talk to. No wonder we are so tired. I pray we will find the strength to go on and find peace.

what hit home for me was the comment that you feel more alone when you are with friends and/or others. I too realize that losing a spouse is so much more than anyone can imagine. people do not understand they think you should move on...to what is my question??? I pray we all make it through this season. I was hoping the Grinch would come to my town.

Life is not fair but you will continue and make it. I know my husband passed last Spring and my children are going to a grief group run through Hospice. See if you can find one in your community. It is free and worthwhile, so maybe give it a try. I wish you the best. Your mom will be sorely missed for the rest of your life, but you will deal with it better.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. It is difficult to deal with the loss of a parent, but to know how he felt towards his son is very sad. Is your mom able to speak to them? My sympathy...

My the peace of Christ be with you. You have had so many losses that I only hope you will find strength in your faith.

I too had a great day yesterday; got a lot done and visited with friends. got up this am and thought I should clean my closet and then decided to tackle my husband's clothes. bad idea. It is amazing thing that you are doing well and then out of the blue the tears appear and do not stop. so I truly understand your situation and wish that each day will bring you further on in your journey! take care. west

I am so sorry for your loss, an accident is so quick and changes your life in a second...hard to adjust to this. I do not know about time helping; after six months it seems it is getting worse. Less crying but a lot more sadness realizing that he will never be part of my life again. too much to do with the house and the paperwork. i have no energy left. May your journey be easier. I will pray for you.

I am sorry for your loss. My husband has been gone for six months and I miss him constantly. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but some days just concentrate on what made you happy when you were with him. My thoughts are with you.

I loved the story. My ring is still on and actually too hard to take off both physically and sentimentally. I also love that your wife helps you out. there are so many times when I ask my husband to intercede for me especially when my kids are having a tough time. It is good to know that I am not the only one who does this.

it may be nice to be busy in a new job, but will you have any support if you go? Think about what you are leaving and weigh the pros and cons. make a list on paper; that use to be my husband's way of doing things. How I miss him and those lists which I made fun of!

When they diagnosed my husband with pancreatic cancer, I too had never really heard of this terrible disease. since then, I have heard of several people who have lost their battle and ever so quickly. My husband lasted only 5 weeks. His pain was controllable. The problem with this cancer is that there are no symptoms except fatigue, so by the time they diagnose it, the cancer has spread to other parts of the body. Hopefully, some day there will be cure.

I agree just think about one thing to do today and just that. do not overwhelm yourself. You need to take the time for yourself and not worry about what else needs to be done. My kids are in their 20s and I feel the worse for them since they are struggling with their dad's death. It makes me try to be stronger for them. How lucky we re to have them in our lives. I know that my husband was so worried about us, and I did not understand that, unfortunately now I do. It takes so much energy to continue, but I know that you will be able to do it. Just keep writing and getting support. It has been almost 6 months and I cannot even believe it has been that long. Take care. West

Remember that 47 years with your husband was a very long time. and it will take a long time for you to do your grieving. Tears are a natural response to your sadness. I also found that lack of sleep contributes to the forgetfulness and the exhaustion that we feel. It has been almost six months since my husband died and the tears are less but the loneliness is worse. It is hard to come home to an empty house, but I feel comfort in my house since I can feel my husband is with me here in spirit. You will get through this, but it is not easy. Give yourself the luxury to take care of yourself each day.

I too could have written your post. It has been almost 6 months and I wonder will I ever be truly happy again. I am tired of running around and keeping busy. I miss the quiet time with my husband when no one had to speak, and the contentment was there.

The first few months are a nightmare and I believe that people do not really know what to say so they say inappropriate things.Most people really do not "get it" unless they have gone through the same experience. I try to remember a good memory each morning as I get up which can bring a smile to my face. Missing his presence is just terrible and people say that time does help. I believe this grief journey is the hardest thing that I ever had to do especially since it came so early and so suddenly. God bless and keep writing. It will help.

I was with my family and extended family last weekend for a bar-be-que. People tend not to bring up my deceased husband's name and it is sad. Even though there were so many people around, I felt this loneliness from within. Does this loneliness eventually pass?

I too lost my husband to pancretic cancer 5 months ago. It is a devastating disease that takes people so quickly. Each day is difficult and looking back at his last days is difficult. Try to begin each day with a wonderful memory of your husband and your life together. It brings a smile to your face if only for a moment. Life continues and the ache does not go away, but you will make it. God bless.