hockeymom

I agree. Love reading it, definitely need to publish, share, something. I'm so sorry for the loss of Bicky and thank you so much for sharing!

Just came across this post and so sorry that it took so long for someone to initially reach out to you. Know that people here really do care and really will help and are genuine. I am so very sorry for what you have gone through in the past year and I hope that you can give us all an update and let us know how you are doing.

Five years has been a year of melancholy for me in many ways. I don't know what it is about the anniversary of five but I have found myself thinking about my grandmother a lot this year, needing her more than I have years past. I don't think the feeling of being bereft ever really leaves you but we simply find a new way to move forward as a different us. I can't imagine the grief over having lost a parent. I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad and hope that you are finding comfort in the happy memories that you shared together.

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your nephew. There is no easy way to heal from the grief and it simply will take time. Hold tight to the memories you have of him and give yourself time. Embrace family and try not to make unnecessary demands on yourself. Wishing you some comfort and sending many hugs!

This is a little off the beaten path but what about a grieving gift? I have actually done them several times and have found that it has helped tremendously. Maybe the comfort of having a part of her mother with her all the time will help. I know there are several companies out there - I have experience with one and will attach the link. I have ordered from them several times and they were very helpful. Sometimes I think the comfort that we gain from being close to a loved one, especially a mom, is what we are really craving. I'm not saying it is the end all and be all for her but it might be a jump start in the right direction. You are obviously a very warm and loving friend - don't give up on her! cremation memorial jewelry

I do believe that sometimes you just have to put it in the "God Box". It can get so overwhelming and you can become so easily overwhelmed and you need to give yourself a break from even thinking about it. Most likely a very good thing that you are leaving town for a couple of days and I hope when you go that you focus on some me time. You will get through this rocky road and be stronger for it in the end.

Hi Lily. Agree, agree, agree with what others are saying on here. I would absolutely limit your contact with him and focus on YOU. That doesn't mean that you aren't there for him but you also are important and need to put your needs first. Your ex will find other ways to deal with the grief and it's very easy to go with whom we find comfort - but it shouldn't be at his convenience. As far as him laying all this on you and feelings of guilt, you are not a friend of convenienc and that is what he is treating you like. It is his issue not yours and your life shouldn't be put on hold for it. He kicked you to the curb, not vice versa. Stay strong - you sound like an amazing woman!

I couldn't agree more with Marty. It is how you spend your time during moments of grief that can make all the difference in the world. Finding an outlet is very important. For me it has always been my running but for others it might be music, therapy, writing, etc. There is no time frame on grieving, how long you grieve, how long it takes, etc. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and my most sincere condolences.

I think that is such an apt way of putting it = not dying of grief but living with it. It has been five years since I lost my beloved grandmother and there are still days when I miss her terribly, that I ache with wanting to just talk with her on the phone. It simply takes time and there is no saying how much time, how long or when you will start to move forward. It is done a little at a time and in pieces. You will never be the same, will be a different you but that's okay. I am so sorry for your loss and hope time will start to heal your heart.

I agree - your ex was obviously exceptionally lucky to have a woman that cared for him as much as you did despite the fact that you were no longer together. My close friend lost her ex to a car accident on his 50th birthday on December 29, 2011 and she stood by his casket and with his family as a very treasured member of the family. You have to do what you feel is right in your heart and be okay with your intentions. I think you are a wonderful individual for being so devoted.

I can tell you from experience that it is completely normal to still feel the loss. It has been five years since I lost my grandmother and I still miss her every day. The first year was the hardest for me and there are still times I pick up the phone to call her. We used to have a glass of wine together every night and talk about our days and I would talk to her about the mischief my kids got into, etc. You don't just get over the loss of someone that you loved so much. I will tell you that time does heal. You are just a different you. I am so very sorry for your loss!