KarenK

Gwen, so sorry it didn't work out for Mel to come home. Hope your sitter finds a winning solution. My heart hurts for you.

Marg, wishing you peace in your heart and soul today and every day.

It's funny....I've never felt anger or abandonment, just a lot of hurt, sadness, and frustration at the unresolved issues which were never going to be resolved even after rehashing them for forty years. That sticks with me like glue and preys on my mind. Pretty stupid as he's not coming back from the grave to apologize. The loss of identity is a big thing, to go from "we" of 40 years to "I" of forever. Of course, there's the giant pain and burden of knowledge that neither he nor my daughter are ever coming back. That never goes away. You just learn to live with all of it. You have no other chouce.

Gwen, maybe make a trial run of the things you do for Mel, like water, food, letting her out in the yard(unless you have a doggie door). That should give you an idea of what's coming. She will sense that you're not up to par and will probably act accordingly with lots of slobbery kisses and just be happy to be by your side. I agree it would probably be stressful for her to be boarded in a strange place. Of course, I'm not a fan of putting dogs in a cage. Maybe D could help with her for the short time your sitters are gone and if it's too much for you having her there, they can keep her a little longer when they return.

Gwen, pep talk coming...........Give yourself a gentle pat on the back. You made it through today, hard as it was. You will make it through tomorrow and all the tomorrows after for as long as it takes. Remember slowly, but surely you are healing. In a couple of weeks, you may be moving a little better. Try talking to home health or the social worker about medical transport. They might have some information. Good to hear the doc is trying to help with the pain. Do you have Mel with you now?

Just wanted to send good vibes and wish you luck on your appointment tomorrow. Hope the surgeon has some ideas about ending your continuous pain. Too bad the social worker didn't step up and arrange a medical transport for you. I would think that would be part of her job.

Ruby, welcome to our "tribe", the last place I'm sure you want to be. I understand a bit how you must be feeling. I lost my husband 8 years ago followed by my daughter a year later. This is possibly the hardest journey you will ever take as you follow the path of grief, but know that you are not alone. We will walk beside you. The pain is always there, but in time it becomes bearable. I will never accept losing them, but I have adapted.

I sure get what you mean about the premium channels. My cable bill is over $200 per month with no premium channels, but I pay extra for unlimited data because the guys play video games constantly and I mostly watch on demand which eats into the data, I think. I can get most of the newer movies at the library by waiting a bit, but not all of them. I've never gotten to see Nomadland, for example. Of course, I have the luxury of someone to pick up and return the DVDs for me also. FYI, The Mauritanian is the true story of a camel driver from Mauritania suspected of being a terrorist. He was simply a scapegoat, but was arrested and held at Guantanamo and tortured mentally and physically for 14 years with no formal charges. He was helped by a female human rights attorney from Albuquerque who spent years trying to get him freed. Sad to see how he was treated and to see all the nasty tricks our fine military used to get him to confess to acts he never commited. Hope you are starting to feel some better. Hugs!

I'll play odd man out here. I liked A Quiet Place and am reserving the sequel at the library. Of course, I'm into murder and mayhem in movies and books. I like suspense, just not the real bloody stuff. Decided to watch A Star Is Born with Kristofferson and Streisand(never seen it before). Streisand has a beautiful voice and she has James Brolin😁. What more could you ask for? Just didn't care for what she was singing in the movie so I stopped it halfway through. Don't think you can top the newest version. I watched The Mauritanian, a heart wrenching movie. Guess you can figure out how I spend most of my time 24/7. A terribly exciting life. NOT

Kay, I really hope it doesn't take an attack on the children before your son wakes up! It's obvious this dog is aggressive or the new family wouldn't have returned him.

Now, that is one relaxed dog! Happy B-day Kay and Kodie. Hope you're holding at 39. I am 😁

Unbelievable that the walker couldn't be delivered! It's obvious you are disabled right now or you wouldn't need the thing. I'll knock on wood as I say that I have no major complaints with my doctor, just the inconvenience of office visits every few months due to Tramadol being a controlled substance. There is a full time phlebotomist in his office and pee tests are done there also so no lab for me. Only have to go elsewhere for xrays. I have to stay on top of med refills as they are slow to respond sometimes. I sure don't have all the problems you and Kay seem to have. Sure hope the surgeon's office pays more attention. What part of "I'm in more pain" don't they understand?

Gwen, hoping all went well with home health care today and they were able to help you feel more comfortable at home. Hoping you feel well enough to care for Mel soon. I know how you miss her. Hang in there!

I could probably still climb stairs if it weren't for my COPD. Heck, I could probably do a lot of just every day things. I worked on the 22nd floor of a high rise for few years. Really hard on the knees going down all those flights during fire drills. Did a lot of wilderness hiking up and down mountains in younger, healthier times. The spirit is still willing, but the body ain't. Seems so long ago.....

Gwen, what kind of walker do you have? Ron had one with 4 large rubber wheels, handles, and a seat for carrying things or resting. Insurance paid for it. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to regain your strength. Just keep moving forward a little at a time. I know it took me forever to feel okay after my stint in the hospital in Ky. with the lung infection. I didn't even have a serious surgery and I had no strength at all. Wasn't fighting massive pain either, just couldn't breathe. We're definitely not as young as we once were.

Gwen, ditto what Dee said. Hope you found a way to get comfortable in your own bed. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get things done. There's always tomorrow. Glad you have a new supportive friend.

Yes, it's hot here, but I've seen many Huskies. Shut my mouth, but your DIL sounds like a real piece of work!

Kay, just so sorry to hear this happened to you! Why didn't someone drive you to the hospital? Who took care of the grandkids? Some larger dogs do not like smaller dogs, see them as prey. Marley is vocal and aggressive toward small dogs and cats. She is part Husky and Shepherd. Glad they are rehoming the dog especially with the children around. Just wish they had done it sooner or given you a "heads up".

In Oregon, BOLI is the Bureau Of Labor and Industries, part of which protects employees rights.

Funny how your mind wanders when you've had too little sleep and too little to do to occupy your time and thoughts. This is just a meaningless story, but perhaps not so meaningless after all now that we have all faced our own loss. I was just staring at our shot glass collection that sits on two small windowsills near the patio door. There's a set marked "His & Hers". I bought them at a yard sale my mother's neighbor had at least 25 years ago. She was downsizing in order to move in with her daughter. Her husband of at least 60 years had recently been killed. I remember that night so well. At dusk, Kay had knocked on mother's back door asking if we'd seen JW. He loved to ride his bike around the neighborhood offering to help anyone with anything. He loved to talk. Just the sweetest little guy. A little forgetful, but after all he was at least 86, so he always came home before dark. As Ron and I prepared to go look for him, a siren went screaming by. Kay knew, somehow she just knew it was for JW. He had ridden his bike out of an alley straight into traffic on the busy street without stopping. The driver had no time to stop. One little mistake and " blip", JW was gone. His life was over and so was Kay's. I never saw her again after she moved. This is sort of how I feel some days as I'm sure we all do. It just takes one "blip".

Glad they are cutting you some slack on returning home. Hope you'll be feeling more comfortable with the idea by then. Try not to stress too much over the changes in your house. They are most likely temporary. Any chance your doctor could write a script for a hospital bed if your insurance would cover it? Sending lots of good vibes your way!

Gwen, glad to see your update. At least you have a better idea of what you are facing now. Although, I'm sure it's going to be hard, you'll figure out a new routine. In time, you'll be able to drive again. Maybe you can bring Mel home in a couple of weeks? Wish I had some suggestions for things to occupy your time. I spend my time reading and watching mostly mindless free movies on "On Demand". My son picked up 8 fairly new DVDs at the library for me. I had stopped getting DVDs because of Covid, but I guess we can't hide from it forever. Will just wash my hands a lot. lol I don't think anybody really knows how to escape it. It just seems to be the luck of the draw. I'm watching all 6 seasons of "Vikings". Full of plunder, pillage, rape, and kill. Funny how humanity hasn't learned a thing after all these years. Hope your horrible pain soon subsides. Ramble on, my friend. I'm right here with you.

This is a bit of an ambiguous day for me. In addition to the general horror, my mother died on this day in 2006. My son was born on this day in 1978.

Gwen, I wish so much there was something I could say or do to alleviate some of your suffering, both physical and mental. All it seems is that you have to keep moving forward, no matter how slowly it seems to you. I'm sure there will be compromises that you have to adjust to in your new lifestyle. I would think losing some storage is an inconvenience, but worth it if it helps you stay in your home. I am an organized person, as you are and it pains me to see my once spotless house and manicured lawn in less than pristine order, but it is what it is. It's really hard to accept that I can't keep up with it anymore. In another month, your muscles may be stronger and allow you to stand up a little better. Doctors sure don't know everything. That's why they call it "practicing". Keeping you in my thoughts and sending all the good vibes I can.

So stupid, it's pathetic. Obviously you won't BE in pain until the surgery anesthetic wears off completely. What happened to taking the pain meds to stay ahead of the pain? Has nothing to do with the war against drug abuse. Simply another way for the government to exert control. I thought this was the land of freedom. Wrong! Don't get me started. I'll shut up now.